Xellen Posted July 11, 2007 Posted July 11, 2007 Hello. First off, thank you for taking the time to read this post, as well as offer any advice that you may have. I would like to start off by saying that I am a college Freshman. While young, I believe that I am very mature for my age, as I have been through many things that I know that some adults far older than I have not. I'm a level-headed, all-around straight-forward guy. That being said, allow me to tell me tale. My girlfriend and I have been dating for approximately 6 months. We are basically the perfect couple. We talk about anything and everything. There is no judgment, nothing is too personal or out of bounds. We understand one another and help each other through problems, be it personal problems, relationship problems (with other people), school problems, etc. Anything that you can think of that would make a happy, long-lasting couple...we have it. But therein lies my concern. Lately, we've been talking so much about the future. We're already talking about getting married, having children, and building a future around each other. Do not get me wrong here, all of this sounds fantastic. But, like all people who are put into this situation, I'm nervous. My girlfriend waited almost five months to tell me that she loved me, because, in her words, "those three words are binding." I firmly believes that she plans to stay with me for good, as I hope she does, but I'm simply looking for an unbiased opinion on my relationship. This is not a girl that breaks promises or is fickle is any way, shape or form. When she makes up her mind, it doesn't matter what hardships get in the way, she gets through them - another reason why our relationship works. If we fight, it gets resolved and both sides are happy. So, again, I'm looking for an outside view and/or opinion. Are we moving too fast? I wouldn't say so because of the extent of our compatibility and honesty, but (my apologies for the redundancy) that's why I'm asking for an outside view. Thank you again!
Lizzie60 Posted July 11, 2007 Posted July 11, 2007 That is a question that no one here can answer... Maybe yes, maybe no...it's hard to say... I've known couples who from the first date to the wedding it was less than 6 weeks, (one of my friend)... it lasted for about 18 years... which, IMO, is a lifetime. LOL Others have dated for years and divorce within a year of the wedding... So ... ONLY YOU know... really... There is no miracle recipe... I don't believe in marriage personally but hey, if you think she's your soulmate...go for it! I forgot how old you were.... you sound very mature... and smart... but age, really is not a big factor if you are mature. Good luck!
Brioli Posted July 11, 2007 Posted July 11, 2007 Yes I think you are moving to fast. I can tell from your post that you are very mature for your age. I think you are nervous, because you know deep inside that it is a bit fast. I mean if everything is so wonderful and perfect between the two of you, why rush the marriage? My advice, don't. Finish school, continue to spend lots of time together. I can honestly tell you there is no way to know a person inside and out in 6 months. There is much more to a relationship then love, and it takes alot more time to see if you two are truly compatiable for the long-term. My ex and I dated for 2 years, before I saw a completely different side to him. This has actually happened to many people I know. A few friends have developed the 5 year rule. You date for five years and then if you make it, you get married. I personally feel that is a bit excessive, but I think you should probably wait about 2 years. I must say though, she may not like this idea. If this is the case, maybe you should make a go for it. But, I personally feel it takes about 2 years to determine if they are the 'one'. Oh, and I do have to add. That there are several stories of people who married within 6 months, and their marriages lasted. Go figure
Jasmine8719 Posted July 11, 2007 Posted July 11, 2007 I dont think your moving to fast...If you were still in highschool...i might have a diffrent opinion, College is toatally diffrent experience you grow up so much...sorry im getting off track....My boyfriend and I, our 1 year anniversary is next Tuesday...and we talk about stuff like that all the time. I think as long as your in a healthy relationship and sounds like you are i would'nt worry about it...There's nothing wrong about talking about it..It's kind of fun planning your future with someone even if it doesnt work out or not...but definantly always have a back up plan.....If you feel like its to much and you feel like being rushed just say so...but i think its normal after 6 months......well as long as shes not talking about getting married next year..your good...Good Luck -Jasmine
Recommended Posts