Altaira Posted July 10, 2007 Posted July 10, 2007 Do I have bad (jealous, competitive, backstabbing) friends? I'm too confused to tell. the reason why i'm confused is because there is some good mixed in with some very bad behavior and comments. ****Should i accept these as character flaws and keep them as friends from a distance or just lose them when I move away soon? personal details: I'm 30ish and engaged to be married while my friends are 10+ years older and never married. I get compliments on my looks. They are attractive but one needs to lose weight and has gray hair but used to be gorgeous based on old photos I've seen and the flirting one was a model once and has kept her figure but she doesn't make me feel threatened in any way, except of course until now because of her flirting with my boyfriend. Friend 1: always has bad comments about whoever is my current boyfriend. Her comments plant seeds of doubt in my mind about my guy. With an ex bf, she wanted us to park in front of his house to see if he was cheating on me even though I didn't suspect he was, and even though earlier she mentioned how another female friend did something similar and she looked down on the other friend's actions. Friend 2: I thought I could trust this one more, but according to my boyfriend, she complimented is voice in flirt tone of voice with him and kept talking about herself making herself look good or better than me, When my boyfriend tried to end the conversation several times, she would keep talking. When my bf would say that I'm the most beautiful woman he's ever laid eyes on, my friend said she's eautiful too. And also she told my bf that she taught me a lot at work (both these friends are coworkers except Friend 2 was fired recently). Friend 1 is making excuses for Friend 2's alleged behavior and making me doubt my bf, also. And saying things like Friend 2 is so beautiful and women are jealous of her when I don't think this is the case, at least with me. She doesn't even hang out with Friend 2, she's closer to me. So I'm confused. Friend 1 points out to me incidents showing how guys like her and describes women I don't think are that pretty as beautiful and gorgeous. She says it in exaggerated tones. even Friend 1 told me once not to expect others to be as good a friend as I am. I am good to my friends and they say they care about me yet they seem "double edged" if you know what I mean. My bf and I are moving away. Should I keep touch with these friends or not. Friend 2 also asked my guy if she could visit (our new home address), my bf told her it was up to me, and she told me that (I) won't mind.
Gala Posted July 13, 2007 Posted July 13, 2007 These women sound a little pathetic. Kind of envious, kind of interested in raining on your parade, and in getting attention from your fiance. Yikes! It's not clear where you'll be moving to, or how far it is from where you've been living. But my inclination would be to leave these women behind. Why should they be let into your house when there's this weird sabotage going on? If they really want to see you, they can meet you at a restaurant.
kimba Posted July 13, 2007 Posted July 13, 2007 i think the reason you are confused is quite simple. these "friends" give you enough positvity to not drive you away and yet their negativity is still at a vey high level. These friends sound very very bitter about their own situations and are trying to drag you down at their level. Here's something to think about - If they are really "friends" then why do they have to "ask" if they can visit you at your new address????????? this strikes me as really odd. I don't think you are going to be missing out if you just let these dweebs just drop out of your life.
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