dauphine Posted July 10, 2007 Posted July 10, 2007 I have had a good friend since 2003. He and I have always got along pretty well with some minor bumps.. but very few. Last year he and I lived together as roommates (he is gay) because he needed a place to live after he and his boyfriend broke up. I am a very giving person and always go out of my way for my friends. This friend is no exception. We actually did pretty well living together except that sometimes he would use my things without asking. For instance, my bathroom products, food, misc items like that. It use to annoy me but I never really said anything because he doesn't make much money. I guess I feel a bit sorry for him. I know, not an excuse. I am always the one to invite him to concerts.. I pay for his tickets... I gave him 60 percent of my belongings when I moved in with my boyfriend (now husband). Ok, so you get my point.. I just give without asking much in return. It's just the way I am. A week and a half ago my husband and I met up with my friend and his new boyfriend at a restaurant. We talked about all sorts of things. My husband mentioned that he was still looking for a job and my friend's new boyfriend said "oh well I work as an HR director at (insert name of company here) so let me know if you see anything that might interest you. Well, a day later my husband was looking at that job board and found a great job that fit his profile. So, I called my friend that day and said "hey can you relay this message to (insert name here) because he found a great job on the board. He said "yeah no problem, Ill put a good word in for you" but I know how he is... he tends to be lazy and I worried he might drag his feet. A few days go by and I call him and left a message asking if he had mentioned anything to his boyfriend yet. Everyone knows that looking for a job is a time sensitive thing right? Well, I have had NO RESPONSE from my friend. In fact, I know he is prob avoiding me because of this issue. I KNOW HOW HE IS WITH OTHERS so I am assuming he is that way with me. Here is the rub.. .I don't ask for much from my friends.. I just asked him to relay a message to someone about my husband's livlihood. Besides, his boyfriend offered! I know it was bad on my part to not get his information at dinner. We didn't think of it at the time. So, now we are at the mercy of one of my best friends to relay a simple message. The longer it goes, the more ticked off I am. There was one other incident where he flaked on me about 3 months ago. I was pretty mad at him then but I forgave it ..just chalking it up to "how he is" So, do I have a right to be upset at my friend or am I overreacting? I feel like dumping the friendship as I am tired of giving and getting nothing in return.
Windwalker Posted July 10, 2007 Posted July 10, 2007 Off post, I know, but why doesn't your H just contact the company's human resources dept. himself? Why go through the friend at all? And if you're tired of giving and not getting, then, sure, back off the relationship and see if he steps up to the plate and starts reciprocating. If not, and you value the relationship, tell him why your attitude t/w him has cooled. If you don't value the relationship enough to bother with that, then why bother fretting over it?
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