uniqueone Posted July 10, 2007 Posted July 10, 2007 I've been reading a lot on NC and am wondering if it's the same for men as it is for women. When I hear men say they do NC after a breakup, often the woman (the dumper) ends up calling to chat with him eventually. Some will even start to do so regularly. Some want to be friends. But when the woman is dumped by the man, how many men really call to chat? I think it's more in women's nature or custom to do so. And I also wondered if men would even consider a *friendship* with the woman they dumped? Do you think NC (or breakups in general) work the same for both men and women?
funkybassplayer Posted July 10, 2007 Posted July 10, 2007 when my ex dumped me i wanted to walk away, she she have let me, instead she was crying to be friends, i agreed to it, she said i could be part of the kids lives still. A week later she met a new gy and tossed my trust and freinship in the bin, she should have let me walk, freinds are onlyfor a comfort bnket while they ge there toughts together. Its not right or fair, she should have let mewalk away. Since being in no contact i have started to move on and get my respec back, and had to do that knowing i cant talk to he or the kids and she had a new guy and im on my own. Freinds is imposible with some1 you love, thats why n/c i fair, just and it works and keeps repec in place. I think i have that bak now in her and my eyes, but she took that from me, for her own selfish self,.
McFadden Posted July 10, 2007 Posted July 10, 2007 My ex was a guy and when I did NC he started trying to contact me. He contacted all the time for the first few months saying that he wanted to be friends, and then didn't contact for a while and then recently he contacted again saying he wanted to talk about something. I think it may have only happened because I was friends with him for a long time before.
BlueEyedSarah Posted July 10, 2007 Posted July 10, 2007 My ex kept contacting me even though he broke up with me.
Pyro Posted July 10, 2007 Posted July 10, 2007 I've been reading a lot on NC and am wondering if it's the same for men as it is for women. When I hear men say they do NC after a breakup, often the woman (the dumper) ends up calling to chat with him eventually. Some will even start to do so regularly. Some want to be friends. But when the woman is dumped by the man, how many men really call to chat? I think it's more in women's nature or custom to do so. And I also wondered if men would even consider a *friendship* with the woman they dumped? Do you think NC (or breakups in general) work the same for both men and women? Of course it works the same, but you have both men and women who can't hold out and will breakdown and call back.
This_Too_Shall_Pass Posted July 10, 2007 Posted July 10, 2007 Do you think NC (or breakups in general) work the same for both men and women? I think they work the same. For both sexes, you'll see people having trouble implementing NC, wishing their ex back into their lives, and breaking NC. It's 30% circumstantial, depends on how the couple broke up and what were their terms before the breakup. And 70% is individual, depends on how he or she will handle the breakup. I don't necessarily think women are worse than men at implementing NC - it's just that men don't readily talk about having contacted their ex.
alphamale Posted July 10, 2007 Posted July 10, 2007 But when the woman is dumped by the man, how many men really call to chat? none. And I also wondered if men would even consider a *friendship* with the woman they dumped? hell no!
the_otherhalf Posted July 10, 2007 Posted July 10, 2007 My ex-boyfriend broke up with me and begged for friendship because he said that he "just couldn't stand not having me in his life at all." Well, that was in March, NC has been off and on from my side since then, but strong for more than a month now. He has contacted me twice in that month, the first a response to an e-mail I sent before, the second just trying to chat (but nothing about the relationship, only asking how I'm doing 1,000 times). What an awesome friendship, hm?
Author uniqueone Posted July 10, 2007 Author Posted July 10, 2007 I guess it looks like there are men who call just as much as the women. I guess it depends on the type of man you go for too. I have a few more questions but I think I should probably start new threads on them.
alphamale Posted July 10, 2007 Posted July 10, 2007 Um 1 apparently...probably more um not me...when I'm done, i'm done
JulieJ Posted July 10, 2007 Posted July 10, 2007 My most recent ex who broke up with me emailed me a week after to ask about being friends. I told him no, but didn't explain why. The reason was this: like funkybassplayer said, being friends is a comfort blanket until people move on. I was not about to be the one to help him "get over me," so I instituted NC. He will still send me friendly messages, to which I reply shortly but politely. I'm not about to let him have the best of both worlds by being friends with him and allowing him to still have me in his life.
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