Finally told him to leave me alone...but I still think about him

[Chiquita27]

Soo, I finally had the guts to tell my ex to leave me alone. That I need space and that I need to be away from him to feel better. He wanted to stay friends, but he is seeing somebody new right now and I have a hard time dealing with it. At this point I cannot be his friend because I still have feelings for him and I can't see him just as a friend. I don't think he understands what I'm going through, merely because he didn't have the same feelings for me. The thing that is killing me right now, is knowing that he's happy with someone else and that I'm here all alone. He has had me as the backburner girl for a while and now that he decides to move on I feel used. I've been good at not letting him contact me...i don't answer his phone calls and I have blocked him from email and msn contact as well.

What bothers me is that even though I told him i don't want to hear from him, yesterday he called again. Why doesn't he get it?...

[funkybassplayer]

Its impossible for you to be freinds, you know that, he knows it too, but wants you on the back burner as you put it. Its being selfish on his part. I think you can never be friends with an ex, i had the same, she met a guy, and it really hurt, although i never let her know this. I sent her stuff back and went into no contact, and have since been healing nicely, and now i feel that i wish them well, i would sooner not know if shes happy or sad or whatever, and im moving on with my life. If i was still in contact, i would be a the start line with no pride or self respect. I did for a little while, but soon realised that its gonna hurt real bad. Its best for you to make it really clear to leave you alone, or just change your phone, and you will start the healing process, and eventually you will just wish them well and move on in your life.

[Chiquita27]

Thanks Funky!

That's all I want right now...to heal and move on. It has been too much time waiting and hoping he would go for me. I guess talking about it makes me release my anger and frustration and that's why I wrote it here.

I hope to one day wish him and her well......but certainly don't wish to be his friend.

[Chiquita27]

I have to confess that I have been weak two nights in a row......I was doing so well until he started calling and leaving messages about wanting to talk to me. I picked up the other night........and all he said was that his girl dumped him.......but he said he didn't want to complicate things between us. That he needs time to think.

I won't lie........inside of me I had some hope that he would say he broke up with her because he missed me.........but NO.....SHE got rid of him.

The night after he called again.....I picked up again and had a really short convo.........then I called him back to say not to confuse anything, that I wasn't talking to him just because he's single again.....but honestly he just said not to think too much about our situation and to relax.

I'm honestly really dissapointed in myself for talking to him......for having stupid hopes....for making him feel like I still care......

He didn't call anymore last night....I don't have a problem with Not calling him or emailing him.....but it's when he tries to make contact when I have a weak moment.....

I'm sooo upset!!!

[funkybassplayer]

Oh my god, what a cheeck, he gets dumped so he comes crawling back to you and sticks you in the back burner! Tell him where to go if he calls again. if he dumped her for you, a different story, but she dumped him, and he must be making you feel 2nd place! Some people make you laugh i tell you. If he calls again, just ignor it, i bet he wants you to ask him back, but if you do, youll go back to what you had, and worse, and you will get really hurt.

[Chiquita27]

What truly bothers me is that he knows I have a hard time with our "frienship" because I want more than that. I feel like he doesn't understand anything about my feelings for him. And yeah he gets dumped and feels like somebody put him down...and comes back to tell me this...and still does the same to me. He still makes me feel like I'm not good enough for him.

 

And the worst is that everytime he calls he says "I know I'm not supposed to call you"........is he making fun of me?????.....

 

I feel dumb because I have picked up the past couple of days.....he makes me feel like i'm obsessed with the topic when he tells me that I think too much. It's a situation that I need to resolve because it makes my life miserable....why doesn't he see that?

[funkybassplayer]

In a word he is selfish, and you should not be friends with some1 who you love, a recipe for pain!. If i were you, i would tell him not to contact you, because all you are to him is some1 to make him feel better until the next person comes along. His contact is making you angry, and i would just cut him off-dead. you will start to heal. If he respected you, he would leave you alone to get over him, and then if you decide that you want a friendship then you can conatct him, but i suspect after a few weeks of no contact, you wont, cos you will see that you are better off without this selfish person in your life. And ask your self this. Would a friend treat you the way he has?