Wife cheating??

[flex]

Where to begin?? Well I will try and keep this short.

 

I have been married for about 12 years. MY wife and I have to kids. Over the course of that time its had its ups and downs, honestly its never been a fantastic marriage, but it seemed to work for us most of the time. Its just as the years went by we have kind of grown further apart and with both of use working and raising the kids I guess our marriage kind of has become the thing that has suffered.

 

One thing we have always had, and one of the reasons I think we have made it this long is we have both really always trusted each other. I have never, ever thought my wife would be capable of cheating on me. She is very family oriented and it just never crossed my mind, until the last few months.

 

There have been a couple points the last few months I maybe thought..hmm. For one she started working out, and more importantly sticking too it, she has been dressing sexier to the office and her underwear is much more (or should I say less) than it used to be. Granted there could be other reasons for those things, and as I will explain later , she says there are but they are warning signs.

 

The real issue comes down to this. She has always had male friends, ever since I met her actually. I have never had an issue with it, and never really thought I needed to. Well she has a guy friend at work that I have heard a lot more about this spring/summer and it really sent off some warning bells. So I started doing a little snooping. Cell phone records look clean. She does not appear to have talked to him ever, except one time when he was supposed to order some tickets for us and I knew about that call. But I did find out they have been eamiling each other on their home email accounts (not work related). I only saw about 4 to 5 emails (before I confronted her, I should have waited) and out of those 3 had some things that could be read as serious flirting. Well I guess you could read them either way but they come across with sexual overtones. Foex example they both joined a fantasy baseball leauge with others from their office and he joked how he was going to draft everyone from her favorite team so he had trade bait. She wrote back "I am sure we can work something out...Right?" That to me looks really bad. In another one where he questioned how she was doing, she wrote "I am still on top...of you! Instead of saying something like well I am beating you or some normal way to phrase that. She also took up an interest in his favorite hockey team even though she has never watched hockey, ever.

 

I also found out they have been going to lunch 2-3 times a week at work, most of the time just the two of them. Soo after some of the emails and then finding an online "smack card", part of they fantasy thing again, she sent him signed Love blabhblah, I confronted her. She was VERy defensive, of course told me I was nuts, they are just friends, etc, etc. Some of her stories don't hold up. She was very wishy washy about the hockey thing, and there was another thing where she suddenly really wanted to go to maine. we had talked about it and she told me a "friend" from work went. Later that night she emailed him, asking him if the restaurant we talked about was the one he went to. When I brought up Maine in our argument she said it was another guy at work. Then when I told her i saw the email to him, she said well they both had been recently, I don't know, I mean she is obviously lying about that.

 

So after not giving it a rest for a few days, we got into it again. I told her maybe she didn't have a sexual affair with him, but I felt she was having an emotional one. After some time she claims maybe I was right and maybe she was getting some attention there that she liked and it was easy to talk to him and she felt maybe I did not love her anymore after all these years etc. She claims it never went beyond what she still insists was friendship but that she would talk to him and tell him they could no longer email or go to lunch together because she needed to work on her marriage. Since then things have been good. We have been talking much, much more, we have been having sex much more, before this once a month was good, usually once every 2-3 months. Now its been multiple times a week for a few weeks now.

 

But there are still signs something is up. I WANT to believe her but just can't shake this feeling. I also can not keep confronting her everytime I find something small. Since out talk I did find a couple stange things. Last month I went to Florida for 4 days. 3 of the 4 days she called her office 2 times in the morning, which is very strange, no other times in a year+ of checking her cell records did she do that. I am wondering they have been leaving each other messages on their voicemail at work, and that is why nothing shows up on her cell. I also so a call on her phone to a restaurant way north of here on one of those days, only a few towns from where he lives. I also just yesterday found a ripped up note in her purse. Oh yes I pieced it back together It said "Hey, please don't email me at home, talk to you tomorrow." Just a bit suspicous.

 

So I guess I am just really struggling with whether this was just a friendship, maybe on the border of going somewhere, or if this is a full blown affair.

[jmargel]

Flex.. something is up. Sorry to say this but you have to go with your gut instinct. She is still lying to you. Best thing to do here is to open up the cage door. Tell her to go, that you won't be dragged through the mud. That if she wants this marriage to work she has to stop all contact and goto marriage counselor, this is her last chance.

 

Let her know you love her but you won't be treated like this. Give her the opportunity to go. Trust me, if you do this now good chance it will really shock her and evaluate on what she's doing to you. Good chance she won't go. If she wants to act like a teenager, fine but you won't be her parent.

 

Be very tough about this and don't just say it with words. She HAS to follow through on this or it's just a matter of time before it becomes physical. You should also not try to 'win her back', if you know what I mean. Right now she is doing what she wants without consequences. What you have done so far has not worked, so don't continue to follow that path. You'll go insane expecting something different to happen.

 

Honestly there is alot of good women out there, and where one woman can abuse, another woman can use. Let her know this..

[Moose]

Best thing to do here is to open up the cage door.

IMO, the Best thing to do is to find out where you were lacking.....why she wasn't getting that emotional food from you......why she had to get it elsewhere......and how to prevent it from happening again.....too often people, "open the cage door" before they even have the, "knee to knee, you to me" talk.....

[flex]

A couple things. I realize things were not perfect before all this. We had grown apart. We were not communicating like we used too. But its a two way street. So many times I would try and she would be crabby or judgemental and then I would just sort of close down. Sometimes it was the other way around. We had also developed different tv viewing habits over the years so she sort of does her thing at night and I do mine, which has REALLY bugged me to no end. That is time we should be spending together and often we do not.

 

We did have a talk about a month or so ago, where I laid this all on the line. This is before I suspected an affair really. We really had a LONG talk, both said how we were feeling. She said she felt I did not communicate enough with her so thats why there was a distance and little sex. I told her she had become via judgemental and snappy which is why I did not communicate well. Another thing that has really caused more seperation the last couple years is here obsession with her favorite baseball team. She watches every minute of every game, which as you know is a LOT of time, to make it MUCH worse my favorite teams worst rival. I have been a sports fan for years, love baseball, love football, but I never let it get in the way of life. Yeah I watch some of most of the games, but other things come first. This is something she now does with her mother and sister so they are always calling each other to talk about it etc. so it is just one more thing that has added to the issues that need to be broken down.

 

If she had some sort of EA, which i think she did and she admits she might have had, I could on some level understand and MAYBE accept that. I realize we had issue and she was getting some of that attention from someone else. But she never said anything to me, never stated she felt this way until I brought it up this last time. I have asked before and never gotten much from her.

 

If I find out this went beyond what she said, that it did reach the sexual stage, and it is over. I can not deal with that. THe emotional affair thing is tough enough, and is tearing me up inside. Actually any contact at this point that I catch her lying about and it is over, as hard as that would be. Plus if it has continued on even AFTER our talks and how we said we were going to work on things its even worse in my mind.

 

Again she maintains they were just friends, that a guy friend to here i no different than a girlfriend, and also that they no longer email or go to lunch. I have not seen any emails, but I can not watch over her 24/7.

 

I did see that she checked her voicemail from home Saturday morning, did not even know I could check outgoing calls on my phone, and as luck would have it, it even saved the password she has. I think I am going to try and hang tight till this weekend, then keep checking it to see if he leaves her any messages. Additionally she went out to get some things Saturday afternoon and put on make up and stuff. She was not gone THAT long and did come back with the things she said she was going to get, and I checked one of the receipts and she did go to the store during that time, but man there are just TOO many little things here. I ccan't live with all this doubt.

[Melissa277]

We've all said the same thing. Our spouses are not capable of cheating on us. But, unfortunately, as most of us have learned the hard way, they are.

 

Ask yourself the following questions about a friend you have of the opposite sex.

 

1. Do I have a special friend of the opposite sex that acts like this?

2. Do I have to lie to my W about my friend?

3. Does my friend email me at home after I've been with her at work all day?

4. Am I working out and buying sexy underwear because of my friend?

5. Do I rip up notes sent from my friend so that my W won't see them?

6. Do I sign things Love, to my friend?

7. Do I go to lunch several times a week with my friend ... alone?

8. Do I talk about my friend 24/7?

9. Do I get defensive when asked about my friend?

10. Am I checking my voice mail hoping to hear from my friend?

11. Is my W suspicous because of my R with my friend?

12. Do I look okay ... ie. sexy ... in case I see my friend?

13. Do I flirt with my friend? Either in person or through email?

 

Trust your instincts. (I wish I had.) You were never suspicious of her male friends before so I'm assuming none of this crap went on with any one else. Would she understand if you had the same kind of relationship with a female "friend" as she does with her male friend? I seriously doubt it.

 

Sorry flex, by IMHO, she's cheating.

[jmargel]

Again she maintains they were just friends

 

Famous line right there..

 

Anytime she starts telling another male about HER relationship with you, is bad news, unless the guy is a marriage counselor you are both going to.

[Melissa277]

We had also developed different tv viewing habits over the years so she sort of does her thing at night and I do mine, which has REALLY bugged me to no end. That is time we should be spending together and often we do not.

 

Another thing that has really caused more seperation the last couple years is here obsession with her favorite baseball team. She watches every minute of every game, which as you know is a LOT of time, to make it MUCH worse my favorite teams worst rival. I have been a sports fan for years, love baseball, love football, but I never let it get in the way of life. Yeah I watch some of most of the games, but other things come first. This is something she now does with her mother and sister so they are always calling each other to talk about it etc. so it is just one more thing that has added to the issues that need to be broken down.

 

 

Sorry, flex but if the TV thing bothered you so much and you wanted to spend time with her, why didn't you just go watch what she was watching? That doesn't make sense to me. And I'm certainly not defending her, but c'mon. Your marriage fell apart because of TV and baseball? Sounds more like some sort of weird power struggle to me. JMO though.

[JamesM]

When I was an Operations Manager at a factory, I learned that when two employees began to got o lunch, there was ALWAYS something there. And then they always defended it as just friends. If they laughed it off without appearing defensive, then maybe it WAS just friends. How did I learn this? Because that is what I did when I was a "subordinate." (The next step when things get real serious is that they no longer go to lunch together...they go separately and meet later... and hide their relationship).

 

So, with what you have presented, there is the possibility of a relationship that is heading to the physical if not there yet. The language used can be taken both ways, but her reaction indicates that you may have a point.

 

As many here have learned, when your gut tells you something, there is a reason.

 

The question is...now what?

[JustBreathe]

My H had a female co-worker, worked with her for 6 years, in the last 3 they became "good friends", emailed as you said, joined one of those games on the internet where people can send messages to each other. They also emailed all the time, sent each other jokes. It progressed to he gave her rides to work sometimes, etc., they had lunch together alot, I trusted him. Listen to your gut.

 

Turns out, my H did have a sexual affair. I would guess it lasted 2 years by the way he was acting. My H also started working out. He also had to work late, had joined an office baseball team and would have to go to games after work. Bought new underwear. He would log off the computer if I walked in, I went out in the backyard sometimes and saw him on the phone, he would terminate them if I came out. Unfortunately, many affair partners meet at work. They have work in common, are always well dressed and on their best behavior when they see each other, don't have to deal with the 24/7. They are fantasy relationships not based in reality.

 

I am not saying she is having an affair. However, if she is not, the situation is ripe for such a thing. Keep your eyes and ears open.

 

Have you been having more sex? Lots of people feel sexier when in an affair or just before an affair. Or the alternative can happen and the sex is reduced. Do some searching. I searched my H's car and found extra clothes. He was quick to come up with an alibi but somehow I did not believe it. Watch carefully. Get sly. Read your credit card bills and review your bank account statements carefully. Does she leave the house unexpectedly? Do her errands seem to take a very long time? Join her and hour friend for lunch and watch how they act with each other. If she balks, look out. I went to visit dear H at work and she walked by without a word and I could feel her jealousy in the air. I was such a doormat that I just stuffed my suspicion and put my blinders on.

 

Be straight up and tell her you are starting to become suspicious she's having an affair with her friend and watch her reaction. Be sure you can tell her why you're suspicious, i.e., do you have an email or something you can show her as worthy of suspicion?

 

I have read the following things can happen when a person is lying:

 

They touch their face or hair

They blink a few times

They don't look into your eyes

They make a joke out of what you're saying like it's ridiculous. Might even get sarcastic, defensive or mad, might walk out in anger or outrage that you would even SUSPECT them of such a thing. A person who isn't lying would take you for real and would not belittle you for your suspicions.

They change the subject right away - my H was good at casually changing the subject right away.

 

I am, admittedly, very jaded, so this advice is purely from my own experiences and perspective. I was burned so badly.

[quiet1one1]

Flex ol' buddy I could have written your post for you....right down to the fact she's calling work to retrieve/leave messages for OM.

 

I had a discussion with my W a few weeks ago regarding the man-woman-good friends s***t. It does not work! You and me are typical guys and you and I know where typical guys ~go~. Think about it.

 

Just like me, deep inside you know the truth and you need to get proof. Like me you feel tormented. I KNOW how much you need the truth. Screw the guilt and trust BS - if you're giving it to us straight you have every reason to do whatever you need to do to get the facts.

 

Just be careful, you may find what you're looking for - just like I did.

[quiet1one1]

Flex ol' buddy I could have written your post for you....right down to the fact she's calling work to retrieve/leave messages for OM.

 

I had a discussion with my W a few weeks ago regarding the man-woman-good friends s***t. It does not work! You and me are typical guys and you and I know where typical guys ~go~. Think about it.

 

Just like me, deep inside you know the truth and you need to get proof. Like me you feel tormented. I KNOW how much you need the truth. Screw the guilt and trust BS - if you're giving it to us straight you have every reason to do whatever you need to do to get the facts.

 

Just be careful, you may find what you're looking for - just like I did.

 

Oh...and Flex...I'm sorry, buddy. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy (the OM is much lower than my worst enemy so he deserves much worse than this).

[cranium]

flex,

 

Your story is similiar to my own. My wife and her OM got careless and I caught them. You confronted your wife with enough to drive her underground.

 

I'm sorry to say, but she's screwing him. Sexy delicates for an EA only? No way. Is her co-worker married?

[flex]

Wow man. Everyone thinks this thing is sexual at this point?? That is very discouraging. I guess maybe I was hoping it was just an EA like she said she she really was working on fixing things like she said. Honestly other than my 4 days away, I can not place a lot of time where she could be meeting him. I mean its not like i follow her every move, but most fre time is with me and the kids. She goes shopping sometimes on weekends, but not for a long period of time and does always return with items from the places she said she was going. He is married and lives at least a good 30 minutes away. I mean yes I guess they could sneek away during the day, but can't picture a ton of spots she could be going to have sex, neither of them live close to work.

 

He is her excuse on a couple things. With the sudden g string underware she says it is because she does not want the lines to show when she dresses up for work. Until about a year ago, she just went into the office a couple hours a day and worked the rest of the time from home, so she did not really dress up. Now she has to dress up everyday. More concerning is the amount of cleavage she is showing. Yes the outfits are professional and she usually wears something over whatever open shirt she has but it really is worrying. With the working out thing, she points to some issues her mother had around the time she started working out. She says that is what motivated her to get her act together at that point. Again a lot of this is plausible which is what makes it harder. I do not want to throw away 12 years of marriage and completely destroy our young childens life if I am off base here. I am hoping it had no gone physical yet and threw work things will get better.

 

One other thing of note. We are supposed to go to a concert with him and his wife and another of her coworkers later this month. It was not originally planned but kind of worked out that way. One point she has is why would she invite me to do that if she was having an affair, she claims she is hoping I will see there is nothing there, so she still wants to go. I am REALLY dreading it, but may go just to see what kind of vibes I can pick up. Although I have a feeling that night could end terribly.

[Darth Vader]

When I was an Operations Manager at a factory, I learned that when two employees began to got o lunch, there was ALWAYS something there. And then they always defended it as just friends. If they laughed it off without appearing defensive, then maybe it WAS just friends. How did I learn this? Because that is what I did when I was a "subordinate." (The next step when things get real serious is that they no longer go to lunch together...they go separately and meet later... and hide their relationship).

 

So, with what you have presented, there is the possibility of a relationship that is heading to the physical if not there yet. The language used can be taken both ways, but her reaction indicates that you may have a point.

 

As many here have learned, when your gut tells you something, there is a reason.

 

The question is...now what?

 

 

Question for ya, ......... What does it mean when two people go out for lunch, and come back with no lunch in a 30 min time period? Did they forget lunch, and go right to dessert?

[Darth Vader]

Wow man. Everyone thinks this thing is sexual at this point?? That is very discouraging. I guess maybe I was hoping it was just an EA like she said she she really was working on fixing things like she said. Honestly other than my 4 days away, I can not place a lot of time where she could be meeting him. I mean its not like i follow her every move, but most fre time is with me and the kids. She goes shopping sometimes on weekends, but not for a long period of time and does always return with items from the places she said she was going. He is married and lives at least a good 30 minutes away. I mean yes I guess they could sneek away during the day, but can't picture a ton of spots she could be going to have sex, neither of them live close to work.

 

He is her excuse on a couple things. With the sudden g string underware she says it is because she does not want the lines to show when she dresses up for work. Until about a year ago, she just went into the office a couple hours a day and worked the rest of the time from home, so she did not really dress up. Now she has to dress up everyday. More concerning is the amount of cleavage she is showing. Yes the outfits are professional and she usually wears something over whatever open shirt she has but it really is worrying. With the working out thing, she points to some issues her mother had around the time she started working out. She says that is what motivated her to get her act together at that point. Again a lot of this is plausible which is what makes it harder. I do not want to throw away 12 years of marriage and completely destroy our young childens life if I am off base here. I am hoping it had no gone physical yet and threw work things will get better.

 

One other thing of note. We are supposed to go to a concert with him and his wife and another of her coworkers later this month. It was not originally planned but kind of worked out that way. One point she has is why would she invite me to do that if she was having an affair, she claims she is hoping I will see there is nothing there, so she still wants to go. I am REALLY dreading it, but may go just to see what kind of vibes I can pick up. Although I have a feeling that night could end terribly.

 

 

She stated that she hopes you will see nothing there, to throw you off the scent, that's Bullcrap! She's trying to set you up! Who says they can't meet during lunch, say like at a mall, and hide where there are a lot of parked cars? The best way to hide something is right out in plain sight. OM, or your wife may have dark tinted windows, so it's hard to see in.......

[JamesM]

Question for ya, ......... What does it mean when two people go out for lunch, and come back with no lunch in a 30 min time period? Did they forget lunch, and go right to dessert?

 

:lmao: Good question! I am sure dessert tasted better and was less calories.

 

BTW, we had an hour lunch if you punched out and went out to eat. Many of these new couples couldn't even eat their "lunch" in the hour given. That was another clue.

 

 

Flex, I am not saying for certain that it has turned physical yet. And as for the night together...I had a friend when we were 21 who swore he had nothing going with this 42 year old lady (who looked really good but was married). And to prove it, he invited me along for a lunch a couple of times. Okay, they did avoid physical contact, but the glances and the occasional touch on the knee...well, that kind of said something to me. I never confronted him after that, because either he did not have any physical or he did. Nothing I would say was going to change it at that point. He was hopelessly "in love" with no idea how this would affect his future.

 

(Incidentally, that relationship lasted for a couple of years and she moved to another job. He married a girl younger than him....and divorced in less than five years. The older woman is still married. I think he was damaged from it, and she moved on when the fun was over).

 

If I had any suggestions for you, it is to keep your eyes and ears open to confirm this as more than a friendship before breaking up your family. It could be that it is a friendship that is bordering on just a bit more...but it may never get there. Or it has already gotten there. For the sake of your family, it is best to be sure.

[JamesM]

She stated that she hopes you will see nothing there, to throw you off the scent, that's Bullcrap! She's trying to set you up! Who says they can't meet during lunch, say like at a mall, and hide where there are a lot of parked cars? The best way to hide something is right out in plain sight. OM, or your wife may have dark tinted windows, so it's hard to see in.......

 

Have we done this before?? :D:D

 

Yes, you are right...from my experience. That is exactly the best way. The only unfortunate thing is if a fellow worker happens upon them at the wrong time. And yes, that is how someone would verify that this was truly a couple.

 

Flex, do you know of any workers at her place that may be helpful?

[flex]

Hey Guys,

 

No my wife does not have tinted windows and neither does he. I do know two of her coworkers. One I know VERY well she was actually best friends with him growing up and after we got married he became my friend. She does not see him at all, which is strange since they work 4 floors apart. I was thinking of talking to him, but that relationship hits a little to close to home, it runs the potential of all of our issues going public amonst friends, family etc.

 

There is another sort of friend of mine that is VERY close to the action. He is friends with one of my best friends and we also were friendly a few years back. He actually works in her (and OM) dept and is friends with my wife. She uses him as another point to try and tell me there is nothing going on with this guy. She has said, wouldn't be really dumb to do something like since blank go to tell blank or you immediately. I was honestly thinking of calling this guy up and trying to ask him some q's, but honestly at this point he is much better friends with my wife and I am not completely sure he would not say anything to her. It would also be very awkward to call up someone I am "kinda" friends with and ask, "Hey so do you think my wife is having an affair with so and so?" If I get desperate he may be an avenue to explore but it comes with some serious risks.

 

I am trying to lay low, as hard as that is especially when I need to appear I am really trying to work on the relationship. I am checking her voicemail at work and so far have not come across anything. This weekend we are going away so there is no chance they will see each other, so I am thinking about trying to get to her office Friday around lunch and see if I catch her going to lunch with him. I figure if there is something going Friday is probably a day they would go to lunch. Its going to be hard though, not sure how I keep her from seeing my car, and if I get caught, ugh.

 

At this point her email account seems useless to me, either they really did stop emailing like she said or they have found another way to communicate, I have not seen evidence of that at this point though. I am rather good around a computer so I got things sewn up pretty tightly at this point. If she uses one of the computers to communicate I will find out.

 

This sucks. I HATE feeling like this!!!

[quiet1one1]

This weekend we are going away so there is no chance they will see each other,

 

Yes but if she's anything like my W, this is when she'll call and check/leave voicemail often. I found out she was calling everytime she had a private moment - even all the time we were away on a family vacation with our kids. Set her up...announce you're leaving then suddenly come back.

[flex]

I will be checking her voicemail myself!!! But if she tries I will know since I pay and manage her cell phone bill. Honestly in the year 18 months of cellphone bills I poured over a couple of weeks ago, she maybe called her office a total of 20 times. If she is checking her voicemail to leave messages with him she must be doing it from our home phone and I am now on top of that situation so I will know. But you are right she would need to do that this weekend from her cell.

[jmargel]

How long do you want to be playing detective? As you continue to play this you will notice resentment build up for her. You two need major marriage counseling, because either two things are going to happen. One is where she is cheating now and you will find out, or two she will catch onto what you are doing and use this as an excuse to leave or to justify herself in having an affair with him.

 

Marriage counseling will stop this or at least get to the answers you need. You need to work on your marriage not just trying to get her not to have an affair.

[flex]

Honestly I have had enough playing detective, it sucks snooping around looking for things you don't want to find. But like I said I do not want to go through with a divorce if I am wrong about this. This may sound stupid but I really do need to consider there are children, young children involved. If it was just her and I we would at least be seperated at this point, but children in my mind are cause for me to try and be as sure as I can be about this.

 

We have been working on our marriage for about a month or so now. Honestly besides all the BS with this situation that has come up it has been going very well, probably the best it has ever been. We have been talking a lot, much more touchy and just in general it has been very good. BUT there has also been this other crap that came up during this time that has caused a ton of issues. The hard part now is as far as she is concerned I put the issues behind us and am trying to move forward, and I want to do that. I was doing that. I had actually stopped snooping on her until last months phone bill came and I saw the weirdness when I was gone, that got me thinking again, so I started looking again, that is when I found the ripped up note. I realize I need to either put it behind me and move forward or end it and move on alone, believe me I want nothing more. I have had a crappy feeling in my stomach for a couple weeks, my work is suffering because I can not concentrate, I have been crabby around my children, this all sucks. Plus not really being able to talk to ANYONE about it makes it harder. I actually did talk with my boss about a lot of this last week when we went out on a business trip. We are actually decent freinds at this point and he actually was able to offer some interesting insight as I found out his first marriage ended with his wife cheating on him. He is the one who really got me motivated to figure out her work password as that is how he found out about his wifes affair. Sorry I am rambling again.

 

I do appreciate you all listening it helps to vent this somewhere.

[dbtmarley]

Flex,

 

I feel your pain buddy. I hope everything works out for you..

[Cobra_X30]

Hmmm... sounds to me like you may need some good surveliance tips. Have you tried the old voice recorder in her car? Exactly what steps have you taken this far in playing detective? At this point it seems like you just need to know. Push comes to shove you may want to anonymously tip off this guys wife.

[Melissa277]

[quote=flex;1249216Honestly other than my 4 days away, I can not place a lot of time where she could be meeting him. I mean its not like i follow her every move, but most fre time is with me and the kids.

 

My H and the OW were having sex at work in his office. I never suspected a thing. All his "free" time was spent with me.