Kamille Posted July 9, 2007 Posted July 9, 2007 I recently had a conversation with a friend who told me he thought single women these days don't take enough chances. That the 'not into you' phase is keeping them single because they have become too demanding. It's been on my mind because it's been kind of my case. I have put a lot of guys on the backburner because, according to me, they sent mixed signals, had major red flags going up (baggage), etc. How does one find the perfect balance? There is this one guy I want to call -and the ball is in my court, who has been sending me mixed signals. He's told me he likes me, has shown some strong sings of interests yet I know he is dating other people. My girlfriends mostly take the not-into-you-move-on tack to it, but I'm wondering if I shouldn't just make myself a bit vulnerable? I realize that my friends want to protect me, but how else will I get to know this guy? Besides, do I really need the protection? Shouldn't dating just be fun?
halfarock Posted July 10, 2007 Posted July 10, 2007 If he is dating other women then maybe he is still looking. Not all guys that date other women are players. Sometimes you just have to date a few until you find one that works. I’ve often dated multiple women, but whenever one comes along that I really like, it’s pretty easy to quickly forget the others. Besides it is always fun to just go hang out with someone, do something. You don’t have to fall in love with every one you go out with or expect to. Just my opinion, but I’m willing to bet that many a budding relationship has ended because one thought the other wasn’t that into them, when in reality they were.
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted July 12, 2007 Posted July 12, 2007 ...but whenever one comes along that I really like, it’s pretty easy to quickly forget the others. Just my opinion, but I’m willing to bet that many a budding relationship has ended because one thought the other wasn’t that into them, when in reality they were. It seems to me the OP's friends are all those girls you men tend to quickly forget about. In reality, these women are left hanging and come to the conclusion that you're just not into them.
knaveman Posted July 13, 2007 Posted July 13, 2007 You should not be afraid to tell someone how you feel and what you think. If you like and trust them, be willing to open up to them. If you can't do that then the relationship doesn't have much of a chance. And, you know when you have found the right person because you can put up with almost all of their flaws.
Trialbyfire Posted July 13, 2007 Posted July 13, 2007 Besides it is always fun to just go hang out with someone, do something. You don’t have to fall in love with every one you go out with or expect to. I agree with this. It's what I did when the ex and I separated. It was fun and understood that nothing would come of it. I knew I wasn't ready for anything and did not want a rebound relationship. Kamille, maybe you're ready to step out a little more. While caution is a good thing, you have to let someone else in eventually. At least if you're cautious, you can do this at a pace that's relatively comfortable for both of you. I do think though, if the right guy comes along and you have real chemistry, some of that caution will naturally dissolve.
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