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Posted

I crushed on a girl in my volleyball league a few weeks ago. I work with her, but there are several thousand people at my work so I have no hesitations about asking her out. I thought I interpreted flirtatious signals; at one point she was running her hands over my chest hair saying "this is normal, this is hot" to a girl while making fun of another guy's Delta of hair above his butt crack. that alone wasn't enough but she gave me a hug later and stepped back and did that coy touch my forearm while saying goodbye after the hug thing that you women do.

 

Well, I didn't get her number, other people were around. Lame. So I sent her an email at work a couple days later saying "thanks for letting me pick up on your team, it was nice meeting you; let me know if you ever need more guys." Blah blah, response had !! and :) :) . I write another one and got a similar response. The water felt warm.

 

Well, then my Grandmother died. I went back to the funeral. I had her work number and figured, I'm busy all next week when I get back, I'll call her and ask her to dinner for after the games. she said "I'd love to." but silly me, I didn't get her cell number, and just told her I would see her at the league. Did I mention I was at a funeral? I was kind of distracted.

 

She didn't show up to the games! My opinion is that while we didn't have a set time/plan (my bad, I should have made more firm plans AND gotten her cell number in case something happened), the onus is on her to say something. She has my email and work number. If something came up or she wasn't feeling well but HAS interest, I assume she'd contact me and say "something came up" even if I only weakly arranged the date.

 

Thoughts?

Posted

I agree it was natural for you to assume she would be there, and had something come up she could have gotten in touch with you either before or after.

 

However in the scheme of things this is a small transgression. If you are really interested, give her another call and see what happens. If not then just let it go.

Posted
I agree it was natural for you to assume she would be there, and had something come up she could have gotten in touch with you either before or after.

 

However in the scheme of things this is a small transgression. If you are really interested, give her another call and see what happens. If not then just let it go.

 

Pretty much what I was going to say: I think you owe to yourself to set up a firm date. If that doesn't pan out, let it go.

Posted

I am just trying to figure out what a delta of hair is???

Posted
I am just trying to figure out what a delta of hair is???

The uppercase greek letter "delta" is a triangle. It's used as a mathematical symbol in pure mathematics and science, and also to describe various triangular shapes: the delta wing on an airplane, a triangular arrangement of circuit elements in electricity, or a river delta, the triangular region where a river's sediments deposit as a river's flow slows down and empties into a larger body of water. Think the Nile River delta, or the Mississippi Delta, etc...

Posted

I agree with this:

 

I should have made more firm plans AND gotten her cell number in case something happened

 

I don't agree with this:

 

the onus is on her to say something. She has my email and work number.

 

Call her up and ask her out for a specific date/time.

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Posted

Yeah, it wouldn't hurt to make one more call. Though I am leaving town in 1.5 months so it doesn't truly matter to me. I agree, I've been kind of weak about this though other things were going on. I felt so guilty calling from my grandmother's funeral. I think I'll look at it this way...I'm only now just getting back on my feet after my last relationship and feeling like I can flirt well with women I meet. I WANT to be rejected. I've had some dates from online and I think two from in person, but I haven't made that date date yet. Maybe it's time to do it with the goal of being rejected, because getting over that hump is likely a big step towards being integrated and confident like I used to be. Instead of testing waters, it's time to just plunge in.

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