musicman1 Posted July 9, 2007 Posted July 9, 2007 OK...I'm new but I have a story and need some advice...I'm in my late 30's and will be married 13 years in a few weeks. 7 years ago is when my sex life stopped as my wife said no more! She has a close friend who at that time said she hated her husband and my wife said the same. I am a good man/Father and she has told me that, but at this point in her life she wants nothing to do with me romantically, doesn't want counseling, and says that we will see what happens when our daughter grows up (she's 12). I have been hurting for 7 years, and to this day she wants to carry on...always says that Dr. Laura tells us that a family is more important than individual feelings. Now I was far from perfect and was a hypocondriac and lazy, but when you have In'Laws that call every day twice for 12 years, and a meddling Father-in-law, you develop a sensitive stomach and feel like you're not important! Anyway, 3 years ago I met someone at work and after all of the beating down verbally by my wife I started to feel much love for this woman...but nothing physically happened, thank God...Fast-forward to now...my wife has told me to have an affair as this is what she claims: She never finished school, got married and had a child to early, never knew what love what or is, and says that we both deserve better...are you kidding me? OK...please lend a hand in anyway you can... 1) What do I do? 2) It's been tough as I lost my parents in the last 3 years and she could give a crap; is their hope? 3) I don't believe in divorce, and could never hurt my child 4) I have thought of having an affair, but my faith is telling me no Thank you for listening
azianpride143 Posted July 9, 2007 Posted July 9, 2007 Your marriage is deteriorating fast. I'm glad that you controlled yourself and did not cheat. My suggestion is to give it one last shot and see if you can save your marriage. You have to plan out how your going to lay your cards right so she will listen to what you have to say. Sometimes relationships can be taken for granted and assumed that all is well when it's not. You came to the right site for advice. There are plenty of folks here who will be more than willing to help.
Woggle Posted July 9, 2007 Posted July 9, 2007 Tell her you two either fix the marriage or you file for divorce. No man should live like you are living.
Gunny376 Posted July 9, 2007 Posted July 9, 2007 Wow! You're one of those kind of guys?! Divorce and these kinds of problems are really, really hard on guys like you and I, guys that have a moral fiber running through them. You know! Guys that actually believe in their vows, have honor, integrity ~ crap like that! Sounds like you went through a rough spot, and actually turned into a human being, and in the course of doing so went from being an Alpha Male to a Beta Male, you know, the kind of guy that actually has feelings, emotions, that needs someone to care and carry them for just one little second! Un-fortunately ~ there are people ~ especially women that think men aren't human ~ and think that men are suppose to be in "Alpha-mode" 100% of the time. You know, the kind of guy that goes to Iraq, loses an arm and two legs to and IED, and calls it a "flesh wound" John Wayne type of chacther! Losing a parent is tough ~ losing both of them in a short span is really tough. Losing both of them and then your SO is all day hard, and a "mother-trucker". Once your parents are gone ~ you're pretty much out there on your own! It's f***, fight, or go for your gun! Not even your own children will ever love you like your parents did. Me thinks, there might, just might be hope for you and the wife. But its a long way back. You've got to make some changes and learn a thing or two. You're going to have to give up some of your beliefs as to what marriage is, a woman is, and being a man is? You're going to have to adapt, improvise, and over-come! The first thing is learning how to suck it up" and deal with the BS life throws at you! Hard! Alll day hard! You're just going to have to accept your your role as being a man ~ being a male! Suck it up it! You don't have the luxuary of mournuing
Lizzie60 Posted July 9, 2007 Posted July 9, 2007 Fast-forward to now...my wife has told me to have an affair She's OK with it... so, what are you waiting for? 1) What do I do? It's all up to you... I know what I WOULD DO! 2) It's been tough as I lost my parents in the last 3 years and she could give a crap; is their hope? NO 3) I don't believe in divorce, and could never hurt my child OK 4) I have thought of having an affair, but my faith is telling me no OK so if you don't believe in divorce and don't want an affair, your wife doesn't want counselling, she doesn't care if you have an affair, in other words, she doesn't give a 'hoot' about you cause she doesn't love you anymore... then... I see only one thing... suck it up...
notspiritual Posted July 9, 2007 Posted July 9, 2007 She has a close friend who at that time said she hated her husband and my wife said the same Most women have a brain no bigger than those of chicken. If her girlfriend gets married, she also wants to be married. If her girlfriend has a baby, she will also want to have a baby. If her girlfriend get divorce, she also want a divorce. Even though she knows she cannot trust her girlfriends because she knows they are jealous of her, she will still listen to their bad advice. Most women are freaking stupid. we will see what happens when our daughter grows up (she's 12). I have been hurting for 7 years, and to this day she wants to carry on...always says that Dr. Laura tells us that a family is more important than individual feelings Most women just want your sperm and your money, so she can have a baby and fulfill their maternity needs. Once this is done, you must get the **** out of her life now! Some rich women don’t even need a husband; they just go to the bank sperm. Most women are that selfish.
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