miss snoopy Posted July 8, 2007 Posted July 8, 2007 Hi everyone, I haven't been on here in ages as I've been trying to move on with my life. It's been hard, and I've been going on dates with this one guy but no emotional connection yet... anyway I got given this quite prestigious scholarship a couple of months ago and I sent a bcc email to all my contacts, including my ex.. I know I shouldn't have, but I did. There was no message, just the attachement informing me about the scholarship. He replied straightaway, and his email was 3 short paragraphs, breezy and didn't ask any questions or invite a reply. He congratulated me and told me bits about his life. I decided not to reply. So... about a month later, I received another email from him, cced to my other email address (so he must have thought I didn't read the other one which would explain my silence) In this second email, he wondered why I hadn't replied, asked direct questions including my dating status and informed me he was seeing someone "nice" but not seriously, and added that they have little in common. Ended with a few kisses. I replied, telling him all the fun I was having (true, didn't make or ham it up) and about the guy I'm dating who I was very complimentary about. My email, admittedly, was longer than his but I suppose I really wanted him to know what I'd been up to as they're things he loves doing, but the bit about my new date clearly suggested I had moved on. Anyway he replied the same day, quite short reply (my email did not invite a reply) saying he really wished he could do all the fab stuff I spoke about, then a bit about his plans, then he wished me well and signed off, this time with no kisses. Nothing about his date this time, or my date despite asking outright the pervious email. Now I know I'll be told I'm overthinking, or to move on (I'm really trying!) but I just want some opinions on why he saw the need to tell me he was dating someone casually and ask me if I was dating. Or why he sent the 2nd email. How we broke up is in my earlier threads, but he basically ended it abruptly and cruelly and has maintained NC ever since, ignoring a heart felt letter I sent a few days after we broke up, and claiming I was unstable. Oh, and he has been registering on new dating sites on a fortnightly basis since the start of this year so clearly not satisfied with the person he's seeing. Thanks in advance!
funkybassplayer Posted July 9, 2007 Posted July 9, 2007 Maybe its time for you both to let go, your both with new people, and proberbly at this point cant be freinds. If it ended messy, at least now you both said a few nice words, and maybe you should leave it at that. Do you really feel you need to dreg up old crap, that to be honest does not matter any more? Move on, if this guy your with aint right find someone who is, but maybe you should take time out just for you, and get to know yourself again. (always the best thing after being in love)
Author miss snoopy Posted July 9, 2007 Author Posted July 9, 2007 Cheers Funkybassplayer, you're right - but I really thought I'd moved on until this. Strange how these toxic exes just never go away.
Pixie-Minx Posted July 10, 2007 Posted July 10, 2007 do you have been checking up on him to know he is regestering on these sites?
Author miss snoopy Posted July 10, 2007 Author Posted July 10, 2007 No I haven't been checking up on him, but as I was looking myself I used to check out dating sites and he just seemed to pop up in every one, and regularly checked into and updated his profile on the old ones!
alasia Posted July 10, 2007 Posted July 10, 2007 Well I'm no expert, but personally I'd say that you're both just trying to prove how 'over' each other you both are. Me and my ex still do it; he says he's got plans, I'll revert to being a jealous little girl and will ask if the plans include another woman. I don't mean to ask, it just comes out. He does it too, whenever I mention a male friend or whatever he immediately asks if I'm seeing them. It's just one of those things where you want to make a point of saying how well you're doing without the other person. No biggie.
Author miss snoopy Posted July 11, 2007 Author Posted July 11, 2007 Maybe him, but definitely not me - I was perfectly happy getting on with my life, if he hadn't emailed me I wouldn't have contacted him - ever, as I've moved on from that stage, and was doing all that stuff for myself, not him. I've spoken to my friends and thought it through and I now actually feel sorry for him as I realise he had huge inferiority issues when we were together. He's someone who doesn't really see women as equals and needs one to boost his ego all the time - getting back together then leaving me after I'd ditched him was great for his fragile self esteem - he's a rather lonely, sad person. The thought of even kissing his cheek makes me puke, and the thought of him having sex with other women makes me laugh as he was crap in the sack, so I know I'm almost completely over him.
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