Tyra Posted July 8, 2007 Posted July 8, 2007 I recently told my boyfriend about an incident that happened to me. I told him that it happened to me a year and a half before we met, but really it was just a few months. What can I tell him cover myself up? Please help me.
Author Tyra Posted July 8, 2007 Author Posted July 8, 2007 I recently lied to my boyfriend about a past incident that happened to me. I told him that it happened to me a year and a half before we met, and really it was just a couple of months. what can i say to cover myself up?
LN99 Posted July 8, 2007 Posted July 8, 2007 Ok, but what is it that you lied about? If it's not a big deal, then just drop it. But if it is something that is a big deal and it's bothering you so much, then you should probably come clean.
oppath Posted July 8, 2007 Posted July 8, 2007 Ok, lying is never a good thing, but we've all been there where we haven't disclosed something from the past or don't think something is a big deal. When should you definitely disclose something? If that something is something that can impact your partner or if it is information that would lead them to re-evaluate the relationship. For example, my ex did not tell me that her ex asked for her back, essentially proposing to her a couple weeks before our breakup. Why? She didn't want to hurt my feelings. Well, we did break up, and one reason is because she acted distant and I pushed, though she claimed to mutual friends it had nothing to do with the ex. While I'll never know the reasons for the breakup, does it matter? If we had stayed together, she wouldn't have told me about the ex. She lied by omission to spare my feelings. What if I had found out 1 month or 1 year down the line? I would have had to dump her for it. Even knowing that it happened would have been justification to dump her since it wasn't as if he randomly tried to get back into her life. Point being, she did not disclose information that would have led me to reconsider the relationship. Any information or action that could impact your boyfriend or lead him to evaluate the relationship must be disclosed. It is manipulative not to disclose the information. You are essentially manipulating someone to obtain your goals when they don't have full information to make a consensual decision. What was your lie? Maybe if you told us, we could better help you.
Author Tyra Posted July 9, 2007 Author Posted July 9, 2007 Ok, lying is never a good thing, but we've all been there where we haven't disclosed something from the past or don't think something is a big deal. When should you definitely disclose something? If that something is something that can impact your partner or if it is information that would lead them to re-evaluate the relationship. For example, my ex did not tell me that her ex asked for her back, essentially proposing to her a couple weeks before our breakup. Why? She didn't want to hurt my feelings. Well, we did break up, and one reason is because she acted distant and I pushed, though she claimed to mutual friends it had nothing to do with the ex. While I'll never know the reasons for the breakup, does it matter? If we had stayed together, she wouldn't have told me about the ex. She lied by omission to spare my feelings. What if I had found out 1 month or 1 year down the line? I would have had to dump her for it. Even knowing that it happened would have been justification to dump her since it wasn't as if he randomly tried to get back into her life. Point being, she did not disclose information that would have led me to reconsider the relationship. Any information or action that could impact your boyfriend or lead him to evaluate the relationship must be disclosed. It is manipulative not to disclose the information. You are essentially manipulating someone to obtain your goals when they don't have full information to make a consensual decision. What was your lie? Maybe if you told us, we could better help you. The incident that happened to me was, I had a vaginal bacteria infection.
mental_traveller Posted July 11, 2007 Posted July 11, 2007 You should tell him the truth. The way to explain your previous lie is just to say you were nervous about telling him, and worried he would think badly about it. Which is the reason you made up the false dates, right? I think it's understandable to be a bit reticent about something like that, I'm sure he will understand and forgive you. He might be a bit annoyed at first, but you have to just tough it out and apologise again. The good thing is that after telling him, you will feel much better. He'll either be cool, or calm down in a day or two, and then you won't have to feel guilty since you've now told him the truth.
I love hot men. Posted July 11, 2007 Posted July 11, 2007 Pfffft. why'd you even tell him at all? You took antibiotics, right? Don't worry about it. It's not like it's an STD or anything. Evenif it was, as long as you took care of it and it was gone, you have no obligation to tell him that since it was before you met him (and even if it was after you met him, it only matters if you're sleeping with him while you have it, that 's the only time you should tell him anything like that.) So....now you know for next time.
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