love necessity Posted July 8, 2007 Posted July 8, 2007 I have been dealing with a lot of insecurities, because of weight gain, and etc. I noticed that one thing I do is shrivel up in the presence of a "skinny" chick, or someone I feel looks better than I. Is that normal? I think I am giving people way to much credit. Do you think so? Does someone else do this?? Any advice? Thanks
SierraMarie Posted July 8, 2007 Posted July 8, 2007 I think that is normal of insecure people. You just have to remind yourself that they are not "better than you".
BlueEyedSarah Posted July 10, 2007 Posted July 10, 2007 I have been dealing with a lot of insecurities, because of weight gain, and etc. I noticed that one thing I do is shrivel up in the presence of a "skinny" chick, or someone I feel looks better than I. Is that normal? I think I am giving people way to much credit. Do you think so? Does someone else do this?? Any advice? Thanks If your not happy about your weight then you can do something about with with eating right and exercise. Weight is something about yourself that you can change if your willing to do so. Don't think of these other girls who are 'skinnier' than you. You are who you are, accept who you are and be happy with the person you are. You are just as good as anyone else around you.
Carbine Posted July 11, 2007 Posted July 11, 2007 Yeah, I'm like that. I see other girls as direct competition, and if one with a better figure or looks crosses my path, I shrivel pretty quickly, especially when I know that she knows she's 'better' than me. I hate it when someone has a decent psychological advantage over me. We're judged largely on our looks, and it's pointless to try and convince yourself otherwise.
SierraMarie Posted July 15, 2007 Posted July 15, 2007 But see, I think it's all in your head that they look better than you. Everyone has their own qualitites that make them attractive. Not all of them are even looks-wise.
Yamaha Posted July 15, 2007 Posted July 15, 2007 But see, I think it's all in your head that they look better than you. Everyone has their own qualitites that make them attractive. Not all of them are even looks-wise. Nice thought but it is someone's looks that get our attention and make us want to get to know them. We do compare ourselves to others and that comparison is by looks, money or power. Many people say it shouldn't matter but we are a society of wanna bees and we look to these attributes as a comparison to rate ourselves.
Lizzie60 Posted July 15, 2007 Posted July 15, 2007 I have been dealing with a lot of insecurities, because of weight gain, and etc. I noticed that one thing I do is shrivel up in the presence of a "skinny" chick, or someone I feel looks better than I. Is that normal? I think I am giving people way to much credit. Do you think so? Does someone else do this?? Any advice? Thanks From what I read the weight is your biggest issue... and yes it is normal if you feel so bad about yourself. If I were you, I would definitely take control over my body... (brain) and lose the weight. Get in shape, eat healthy (NO DIET) and exercise a lot. This will definitely make a huge difference on your self-esteem. Then you can get new clothes, new hairstyle... there is sooo much we (women) can do (make-up, etc.) I tend to gain weight since last year (I know, in my case, it's all about my age) but I don't let myself go... You can do it!!!
hope1975 Posted July 15, 2007 Posted July 15, 2007 Nice thought but it is someone's looks that get our attention and make us want to get to know them. We do compare ourselves to others and that comparison is by looks, money or power. Many people say it shouldn't matter but we are a society of wanna bees and we look to these attributes as a comparison to rate ourselves. I agree with this, but because people are individuals, we are all attracted to different things....What I find good looking & attractive, you may not. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder...and self confidence can be a huge attraction, even if the person is average looking If you're self concious about your weight, start an excercise program, you'll feel great & once the weight starts coming off, it'll give you a huge confidence boost, which in itself is attractive
fly_gurl Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 I agree with everyone above. You have a self-conscious problem. I have one too, but I don't let it bother me as much. Take control of yourself. Some women tend to let go of themselves when they get into a relationship and feel comfortable, not realizing that if you change, it might change the way people view you. So, def. take advantage of life around you, don't just sit around saying people are better than you, you need to be better then them and know it too!!
LN99 Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 I think my weight was more of an issue when I was in high school. People were very superficial back then. But, I had friends from all different groups...and they were big, small, average etc. I definately did feel inferior around the cheerleader types. But as I have gotten older, I really learned not to give a crap about these skinnier people. They can either like me as I am, or not like me at all. With age and experience, I learned that I'm just as good as them. I have even learned that most of the skinny people I have met are just as insecure in ways as I am/was(being bigger). Keep in mind, we are our own worst critic. Most of the time it is all in our minds and not in other peoples. You just have to learn to fight that demon and recognize yourself as being "just fine" as you are. Or, if you really are unhappy, make a change for yourself.
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