wildfire.55 Posted July 7, 2007 Posted July 7, 2007 Recently I've been suffering from the old man, I had my final highschool exams 4 months ago, stayed in my room for 60 days studying, at the final exam day 30 mins before the exam he fired out at me and humiliated me like never before, I did bad at the exam, got depressed and was ending my life the same day, didn't wait for him to pick me up i walked to the place i was gonna end my life in but he saw me on the say and my tongue was all tied up for a week, I got depressed and lost all hope. As things started to get back to normal, so did the pressure again, I'm 18 years old and he says I have to be back home at 10 pm no more, all my friends stay till 1 am and they stopped hanging out with me to me because of him, I have few stupid nerdy friends that I hang out with because I have no alternative and my dad uses them to say that I don't spend time at home, he gives me money but he doesnt know that its worthless if he doesn't give me my freedom and doesn't let me be responsible for my actions, some may say he's simply over protective for my own benefit, but this is slavery now, I'm simply his tool to practice authority and control, what the hell do I do ? I'm on the verge of ending my life, anything will be appreciated....
trotter Posted July 9, 2007 Posted July 9, 2007 I just read your post and am really concerned about what is going on in your life now. Please don't consider ending your life. If you want my opinion on your situation - I have a very strict and controlling father myself. I was always a very social person, with many friends, but like you my father's rules kept me back from staying friends with most people I knew at that time. You are 18 and he lets you stay out untll 10pm. When I was 18 I could barely stay out until 8pm on school months, and around 9-10ish during the summer. It was a real pain in the ass, and i found myself really frustrated at the fact that I was always being treated like a child. I would have to make up stupid excuses everytime i couldn't go out at night, until my friends realized that i couldn't stay out late. Everyone would joke once it got dark and say "hey shouldn't you be home now... your dad is going to beat you!" It wasn't until i finished college that I got more freedom, and eventually I moved out and broke free. Please just bear with your troubles for now, because once you are older you can just move out and get your own place. Also, do you have other family members that you can discuss your feelings with? if you are more comfortable talking to your mom, let her know that the strict rules of your dad are making you depressed.
Lynna Posted July 9, 2007 Posted July 9, 2007 You are 18 so you are an adult. I would get a job and move out as soon as possible. Get two jobs if you have to. Find a roommate if you need to, either a friend or even search online for people looking for roommates. Or even find friends whose parents will let you rent a room or the basement from them. Don't stay in that situation any longer. Also, call a help line, don't take the drastic step you are thinking about. There are shelters where you can stay for awhile even and groups who can help you get on your own feet. Look online for suicide hotline. There are people out there who can help you!
Author wildfire.55 Posted July 9, 2007 Author Posted July 9, 2007 i used to think that by thinking of opposing my fathers opinions I was making a mistake, as if the fact that he is my father gives him divine control over my emotions, I am seriously suffering socially, I am being mocked and humiliated because of being treated like a child making me a child, I can't get a girlfriend though I am capable of doing it because of the phrase "don't date a guy who's controlled by his parents"... I'm at the summer break now I just finished school, my college pressure is rising, he wants me to be a doctor in a university I dislike, but this is just a sprinkle........everytime I go out I see all those people happy together just living their lives normally, smiling and I realise that there was more to life than just the father part, I don't trust him nor depend on him, I lost faith in myself because everytime I face a problem with someone and it's his fault, my father looks at it in that I am a trouble maker making it my fault, I am afraid of taking what's mine and fighting for what I want because of him, excuse me but this is slavery, I read on loveshack that I should sit with myself and search for myself because who I think now is myself may be the person my dad made and not who I am, yet again trying to oppose him will just cause me more trouble,.... I don't know but this guy once told me that I should just go up to him and tell him "dad, I am on the verge of killing my self" how do you think he'll respond, personally I think he would either kill me, or fire out as always, then I'll have no choice but to end it my way...I'm just so lost...I don't want to end my life because then i'll just be a mistake my dad made and will be worthless...I also don't want to deprive my little brother from me, he doesnt deserve it... I spoke to my mom yesterday but I didn't give much details, I only showed her that I was uncomfortable at home because of the old man, she complained from him aswell, he calls me a ****ty teenager, well sorry but he's the one who smokes, cheats on my mom with other females, is always defensive, has a bad attitude, always emotionally active, stays out late and selfish, HE IS THE TEENAGER, and NOT ME !
BlueEyedSarah Posted July 10, 2007 Posted July 10, 2007 Recently I've been suffering from the old man, I had my final highschool exams 4 months ago, stayed in my room for 60 days studying, at the final exam day 30 mins before the exam he fired out at me and humiliated me like never before, I did bad at the exam, got depressed and was ending my life the same day, didn't wait for him to pick me up i walked to the place i was gonna end my life in but he saw me on the say and my tongue was all tied up for a week, I got depressed and lost all hope. As things started to get back to normal, so did the pressure again, I'm 18 years old and he says I have to be back home at 10 pm no more, all my friends stay till 1 am and they stopped hanging out with me to me because of him, I have few stupid nerdy friends that I hang out with because I have no alternative and my dad uses them to say that I don't spend time at home, he gives me money but he doesnt know that its worthless if he doesn't give me my freedom and doesn't let me be responsible for my actions, some may say he's simply over protective for my own benefit, but this is slavery now, I'm simply his tool to practice authority and control, what the hell do I do ? I'm on the verge of ending my life, anything will be appreciated.... Sorry if my responce is harsh - if you want to be treated like an adult then you have got to act like an adult, no more of this "I want to end my life" crap! You need professional help if you are thinking suicidle thoughts. Be a mature young lady and stand up to telling your dad exactly the way you want to be treated, put your foot down, you are now legally known as an adult and he needs to see that. Tell your dad how you feel as you are now an adult.
Elmo Posted July 12, 2007 Posted July 12, 2007 i used to think that by thinking of opposing my fathers opinions I was making a mistake, as if the fact that he is my father gives him divine control over my emotions, I am seriously suffering socially, I am being mocked and humiliated because of being treated like a child making me a child, I can't get a girlfriend though I am capable of doing it because of the phrase "don't date a guy who's controlled by his parents"... I'm at the summer break now I just finished school, my college pressure is rising, he wants me to be a doctor in a university I dislike, but this is just a sprinkle........everytime I go out I see all those people happy together just living their lives normally, smiling and I realise that there was more to life than just the father part, I don't trust him nor depend on him, I lost faith in myself because everytime I face a problem with someone and it's his fault, my father looks at it in that I am a trouble maker making it my fault, I am afraid of taking what's mine and fighting for what I want because of him, excuse me but this is slavery, I read on loveshack that I should sit with myself and search for myself because who I think now is myself may be the person my dad made and not who I am, yet again trying to oppose him will just cause me more trouble,.... I don't know but this guy once told me that I should just go up to him and tell him "dad, I am on the verge of killing my self" how do you think he'll respond, personally I think he would either kill me, or fire out as always, then I'll have no choice but to end it my way...I'm just so lost...I don't want to end my life because then i'll just be a mistake my dad made and will be worthless...I also don't want to deprive my little brother from me, he doesnt deserve it... I spoke to my mom yesterday but I didn't give much details, I only showed her that I was uncomfortable at home because of the old man, she complained from him aswell, he calls me a ****ty teenager, well sorry but he's the one who smokes, cheats on my mom with other females, is always defensive, has a bad attitude, always emotionally active, stays out late and selfish, HE IS THE TEENAGER, and NOT ME ! HE is paying the bills. It is his and your Mum's house. NOT YOURS. I understand that you are sad....but you are an adult. Gosh, you think your parents are effed up...then move out. Yep...it's hard. It was hard for them. It IS HARD FOR THEM. Get a job, get a place of your own, control your life.
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