Author LoveLace Posted July 19, 2007 Author Posted July 19, 2007 I had a guy who treated me like what you long for, but I didn't have strong feelings for him and eventually broke things off. Sadly I think I respected him a bit less because of it. We're still best friends and he still tells me how much he loves me routinely. He's a great guy, but I just don't have sexual feelings for him. I think the main problem is that he's an openbook. He's too easy to read and wears his heart on his sleeve. I'm attracted to guys who are somewhat reserved/aloof on the surface but vulnerable underneath. You have to 'crack' them like good books. Once they let them in it's amazing, but they don't let you in all the time so when they do it's more of a treasure. The whole notion that women are attracted to ass******s is mostly false. It's ok if a guy is a bit cold on the surface, but he has to have a good heart. Somebody who's cold to the core is a total, total turnoff. Much more of a turnoff than an innocuous nice guy. I think that's what all women long for...A bad (or emotionally reserved) boy that they can unearth the good soul in. Because when such a guy reveals his vulnerability to a girl, it makes her feel very special. The problem is some women see good in men who have none. Often it's hard to pick out the "secret nice guys" from the thorough douchebags. Yea I think you basically described what it is I really want...I do like a little mystery but not so much that it's scary...I also don't necessarily want to be put on a pedastol like, constantly or anything, but like you said, it'd be nice to have the reserved manly kind of guy that still manages to come through with attributes of a true gentleman...it's almost like, if he's not a jerk every once a while there's no challenge left....if he's just bowing to you every day it would get boring... I think men probably want it about the same way...
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