alasia Posted July 6, 2007 Posted July 6, 2007 Hi, wasn't sure which forum to put this in sorry. I won't bother detailing my relationship with Phil, if you want to know just do a search on my username I just need a bit of advice on whether to bother contacting my ex about my baby. I'm 31 weeks pregnant with his baby, we'd been living together and had talked about having a baby, marriage, that kind of thing - and he convinced me he was serious about having a baby, seemed genuine and when I had a bit of a pregnancy 'scare' in Sept 2006, he was ecstatic at the thought I might be pregnant, and told all his friends. We split in January after weeks of arguing and a week later, I discovered I was pregnant. He's been up and down with me over the past 7-8 months and has gone from saying he wants to be involved with the baby one minute, to being really detached the next. I spoke to him on Tuesday when he gave me a lift home after he'sd finished work, kind of brought up the baby thing but he seemed very detached - he asked what the baby's surname would be, whether I'd chosen names and that kind of thing, but it sounded like he wasn't a part of it! As if he doesn't think he's the father or something and I'm the only one that gets to make choices about things like names etc. Part of me would love him to be involved - to be a proper parent to our son, be at the birth and all that kind of thing and Phil's said he'll meet me for a chat sometime (I asked), but I'm not sure whether it's worth it. He's got 3 other kids, 2 from marriages/LTRs and one from a casual relationship - the youngest from the casual thing is 18 months old and he'll see the baby if the mother brings him round, but doesn't really put any effort into seeing him. The most he's done lately is send the mother a text message about 2 weeks ago, asking her to bring the baby around to his house. She hasn't yet, and he hasn't contacted her again or been round there. Naively, I thought he'd be more interested in our son, because we were in a 'proper' relationship, had talked about having a baby, were in love and all that kind of thing - so for me to be talking about the baby and phil not showing much interest is mreally hurtful. I'm not sure whether to even bother asking him to be at the birth or meet him for this 'chat', because would it make any difference? What do you guys think? Should I do it, or just go NC until after the baby's born, possibly forever? PS - I know it sounds morbid, but what if something went wrong with regards to the baby; if he was born prematurely, or ill, or worse - I'd feel like I'd want phil to know and maybe be there for me/the baby. At the same time, I want to go NC in a way to see if he does make an effort to be involved in the baby's life - but I also know he probably wouldn't because he's not that motivated.
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