vbgirl Posted July 6, 2007 Posted July 6, 2007 well, it's been a month since my partner of more than six years abruptly broke-up with me. her reason for leaving was,initially, because she felt "lost" and didn't know who she was or what she wanted anymore. she also divulged she was no longer "in love with me" and have felt this way for several months. it has been the roughest month of my life and am finding it difficult to understand why this is happening. we had a wonderful, loving, respectful, and close relationship. our families are equally as close and disturbed about the recent turn of events. i am at a loss of what to do. she seems very different from the person i met but i am still madly in love with her despite her "stand-offishness" when i initiate any type of conversation. even if it's a short text message to say hello or how she is doing. why is she acting like this? it seems as if she just didn't even miss a beat and is completely fine and unaffected by everything-you'd think she'd show some kind of emotion after more than six years of being in a relationship! when she divulged she had been feeling this way for quite some time i started to add things up and tried to remember when it was, at what point. Also, what adds to the pain is i was very supportive of her goals and desires to go back to school and helped her out with that and i helped her out with other things as well at the time she said she started having these feelings. Honestly, money is no issue for me here and i dare not ask for anything back because it was a gift and i beleived in her, i am just extremely hurt because she knew she had these feelings yet accepted these things from me amongst other things. what kind of person does that? i am so confused and hurt right now. on some days i am fine, some days i can muster up enought anger about the situation to not call her or think too much about the situation, but on some days i am completely consumed by it all.
number2 Posted July 6, 2007 Posted July 6, 2007 i've been through this pain before, and i'm currently going through it again (although it isnt quite as intense this time). i can tell you from the bottom of my heart that time will heal the way you are feeling right now. it sure won't feel like it, even months from now. but slowly you'll feel better and you'll realize it. after my first breakup i didnt think i would ever be the same, but trust me, you will.
tinke Posted July 7, 2007 Posted July 7, 2007 maybe she accepted the gifts because she, "in her way" continued to have faith in the relationship, and perhaps at some point she had discovered it was not worth the energy...something may have FELT different to her. quite honestly, we may never know the real facts in each of our situations, and it is maddening, to say the least, to try to analyze every event. but we do, and i believe it is the early stages of the healing process. at some pont, something will click with you, something willl make sense, and it will be useful in repeating it to yourself when feeling down. if nothing else, it may be helpful to acknowledge that she casually dismissed the relationship along with your feelings. i know at this point, it probably seems impossible to hear that it will get better, easier. but...it will! just think, one month ago from today...where you feeling differently? physically, etc.? celebrate that! as more time continues, somehow feelings will change. and once that demon "denial" begins to fade and acceptance creeps in, your attachment may change, your thoughts may change. i too, went through these emotions, and i am very excited to say months later, i do feel lighter, clearer, no more repeating events in my head. yes, i still care, and think of it as a surreal experience, but, i have decided that it was all too emotionally and physically draining, and after feeling and facing the grief...i now feel i can begin to move on in a healthy way. remember....YOU are the prize!!!! take care
hrtbroken99 Posted July 8, 2007 Posted July 8, 2007 i am so confused and hurt right now. on some days i am fine, some days i can muster up enought anger about the situation to not call her or think too much about the situation, but on some days i am completely consumed by it all. well, I don't have much to say but stick with NC I am not going to throw in cliches or other stuff which gets really old after a while but I can tell you I still have my terrible roller coaster days of good and bad evern 7.5 months later from the breakup and it SUX. I thought time would heal but I don;t know, I think that only works if you have don't have free time on your hand to think about things. I feel like I have had plenty of time yet am still sitting here like a loser acting like it happened a day ago. stick with NC and take care of yourself right now
polywog Posted July 8, 2007 Posted July 8, 2007 I'm sorry you are going through this . It sucks, and makes no sense. I've been through it more than once, and have survived, a stronger and better person as a result, really. So have many other LSers, when you read through the threads of people who've posted over time (this site is really inspiring). The yucky roller coaster thing will happen for a while, so you just need to be super kind and patient with yourself. Easier said than done, I know, but your soul and self will grow stronger from this awful event as time passes. I'm just so sorry to hear that you are going through this, but I have faith that you'll be better off in the end. You deserve, as we all do, to be with someone who knows herself and who really loves you and doesn't wimp-out like your ex sadly did (and please, while you will inevitably analize what went wrong, the truth is that we can never really know when it comes to these situations, and it saps our energy to try to figure them out).
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