mandarinminnie Posted July 6, 2007 Posted July 6, 2007 I'm in a bind and I could use some advice. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a couple of years, and I was at the point where I was thinking he was probably the man I was going to marry sometime down the road. However for the last couple of months my boyfriend has been telling me that he never wants to get married. At first I thought he was joking. However just recently he told me that if he did want to get married it would be a LONG time away from now, and it wouldn't be to me. I was actually shocked to hear this. We have a really good relationship, we have common interests and just generally have a good time together. We have even been living together for the last year and have had no problems. Even though I had dreams of getting married, I thought I could give up getting married if it meant I could still be with him. I actually told myself that I loved him so much that it would be fine if we never married, because I didn't want to lose him. Recently he has been telling me that when I go on my vacation that maybe I would "find someone there to marry". I'm pretty sure he is joking (its only a 2 week trip! Hardly enough time to do something like that.) In any case, I would just roll my eyes at him and tell him that it wouldn't happen because I loved him so much. However the last time he said that, I answered back with "maybe I will!" He laughed, I laughed, and we continued on our way. However...I found that I was actually not really lying. I don't mean I want to find a quickie husband it a foreign country or anything, but I just suddenly realized that being in a relationship where the guy I was dating wanted to marry me was VERY appealing. So now I feel kind of stuck. I feel like this relationship will never go anywhere, but the thought of losing him really eats me up inside. I've been in a lot of relationships where I was just used for sex, and I was happy I finally found a guy that wasn't after me just for that. We also resigned our lease a couple of months back, so I know I will be living with him for another year. I told myself that I would wait exactly a year from this month, and if our relationship hadn't changed that I would get out, even though the thought of losing him makes me sick. I could really use some advice. I really have no idea how to handle this situation.
mental_traveller Posted July 6, 2007 Posted July 6, 2007 What advice do you want? Your boyfriend is being pretty clear here - he doesn't want to marry you. If you want to get married at some point, then you have to leave him. If you are happy to just cohabit and not have a more serious commitment like kids & married life, then you should be fine staying with your non-commital boyfriend.
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