sockpuppet Posted July 6, 2007 Posted July 6, 2007 So I'm in the midst of trying to get over my ex who about 3 1/2 weeks - a month ago told me that she didn't love me the same anymore and wanted to move on. We're still facebook friends, and I have done pretty good at not looking at it obsessively. Though I have been seeing photos of her hanging all over guys and it drives me nuts since I can't get that close to anyone right now, even if they wanted to. Recently she's been posting on a friend of ours' wall, joking (or maybe not) about visiting him and helping him start a business that jokingly involved her doing manual labor in a bikini. This guy was like my arch-nemesis while we were dating. He had tried to get with her before we dated and she wasn't interested. He and I were friends but the whole time she and I were dating, he'd flirt with her right in front of me and had said repeatedly he liked doing it to mess with me. While we were working on rebuilding trust in eachother, he contacted her randomly and mentioned a conversation I'd had with him weeks ago, distorting what we had talked about and lying to make it seem like I had asked him for advice on how to hook up with other girls. So multiple times in the last few weeks she's posted on his wall expressing interest in visiting him, BLATANTLY flirting. I obviously don't like the idea of her with anyone, but this guy is like the ONE PERSON that would send the biggest "screw you" message to me. I don't see her as the type to be that vindictive, but I shudder to think if she's really serious about getting with this guy. It's just disgusting.
alphamale Posted July 6, 2007 Posted July 6, 2007 You need to go into NC that is total and unadulterated SOCKPUPPET....no facebook, no email, no myspace, no texting, no phone calls, no asking mutual friends what she's up to, etc...
9Lives Posted July 6, 2007 Posted July 6, 2007 I agree. NC is what you need to do or else you are going to make a a/ss of yourself. she is doing what she wants and you are not going to be able to do anything about it. she told you she doesnt feel the same. you need time to accept that and deal with it. DEAL WITH IT. the feelings, the emotions, you need space right now. she is not the same sweetheart you met cause she has other interest. deal with it.
hithere Posted July 6, 2007 Posted July 6, 2007 Hey man i feel for ya. The second worst feeling outside of breaking up is knowing your ex likes someone new or might be dating again. Follow everyone else's advice and quit visiting that website. You shouldn't stress yourself out over nonsense like that. Be the bigger person and just ignore it.
spookie Posted July 6, 2007 Posted July 6, 2007 Hang in there sockpuppet. I know it hurts like crazy right now. In my opinion knowing your ex, whom you still love, is looking to expend romantic and/or sexual feelings on someone else is, hands down, the worst feeling in the world. On top of the feelings of betrayal and abandonment, it brings to the table our worst insecurities: not being good enough, attractive enough, lovable enough, fun enough... and on and on. I think it helps to realize that what your ex is up to is none of your business anymore, nor is it reflective of your own worth as a person. There is no good reason to follow her moves on facebook and the like, either. I have been guilty of this too because the curiosity can be overwhelming, but all satisfying does is impede us form moving on. We can't fix a thing with our exes anymore. They chose to leave. Likely, it was due to their own issues, an inability to commit, bad timing, whatever. You don't want her as she is now. The sweet person you could envision a future with some months ago is gone. Cut her out. Don't be afraid to block her on facebook, there's an option for that in the privacy section and I did it to my ex. There's nothing wrong with having enough pride not to settle for scraps of friendship with someone who at this point can only hurt you, there is nothing wrong with wanting to move on. Don't let yourself think otherwise. You are not weak for letting her go completely, cutting her out for good, just smart enough to act in your own best interests. Good luck and keep posting!
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