chloekline Posted July 5, 2007 Posted July 5, 2007 I started dating this guy about five months ago and we became sexually intimate right away because that's what we both wanted. Neither of us wanted a relationship at the time. We've become good friends and see eachother about every two weeks. I have developed a huge crush on him and I really like him. I'm afraid to tell him though because I've read books (The Rules and Love Tactics) that say I should play hard to get and be more elusive and busy. If he knows I like him I feel that he'll lose interest. I've been turning down dates and acting busy but it's just made him upset and making it a point to not try and see me now. He either knows what I'm doing or has too much pride to chase me. I know that he likes me as well from the way he acts around me. He gets shy and intimidated. He's always the one who initiates phone calls and getting together so I've never acted desperate or needy. Now the calls are less and less since I've been acting more unavailable. He probably thinks I'm not interested. What should I do?
Lauriebell82 Posted July 6, 2007 Posted July 6, 2007 Well I think there is a balance between playing hard to get and being totally available at all times. It's true that guys like the thrill of the chase, but if you overdue it they start to think that you aren't interested anymore. Now, are you guys dating? Or are you friends with benefits? I'm a little confused on the status of your relationship. Anyway, I think that it would be a good idea to start to be more available. Tell him you are sorry you have been busy lately but you are going to try to make time to see him because you really like him. That shows that you are interested without being totally desperate and needy. You don't have to be totally available all the time, but don't turn him down everytime he wants to see you. Well, I hope I helped you!
Author chloekline Posted July 6, 2007 Author Posted July 6, 2007 we started out dating and became friends with benefits.
Cobra_X30 Posted July 6, 2007 Posted July 6, 2007 Why buy the cow? As a guy Im going to tell you true that you got a tough road ahead. Be warm and receptive, available... but do not sleep with him again. Otherwise there will be no chase. Good Luck!
Author chloekline Posted July 6, 2007 Author Posted July 6, 2007 I'm afraid now that it may be too late. I sent him a text a couple days ago just saying hi and he hasn't responded. He's acting unavailable and busy now. I feel that maybe we're both playing the same games and it's getting us nowhere. We both pull back right when we feel that we've shown interest. Do you think he'll call try to see me again eventually?? I know you can't tell the future but just based on what I said and what you would do. I'm scared now because he means a lot to me.
PeterJames Posted July 6, 2007 Posted July 6, 2007 Well I think there is a balance between playing hard to get and being totally available at all times. It's true that guys like the thrill of the chase, but if you overdue it they start to think that you aren't interested anymore. I agree. You mentioned you sent him texts. Have you tried calling? I would apologize for being so busy, then ask him if he's busy on ___. Let him know that you miss him. Just to let him know that he doesn't have to initiate it all the time. He very well could've caught onto your game and wants you to feel how he felt. It depends on the guy, you make the call.
Author chloekline Posted July 6, 2007 Author Posted July 6, 2007 I also want to add that when I am the one to initiate contact and make plans, he starts acting distant like he's losing interest. The only time he really wants to hang out and call is when I'm completely unavailable.
Author chloekline Posted July 7, 2007 Author Posted July 7, 2007 Okay, I've been really giving it some thought and I think I should take stock and cut my losses with this guy. I would be lying to myself if I think that anything would come out of a purely sexual situation with a guy who only wants to see me for sex. He doesn't care to build any kind of friendship with me, just sex. It's obvious because he keeps me at a certain distance and right when I'm about to finally move on for good, he comes back with I miss you beautiful blabla bla. Because he wants me in his life but for ONE thing ONLY. And please honey, I'm worth more than that. I just HAVE to be strong when he comes calling again with his charming sweet talk. I HAVE to say no. That's the only way I can ever get over him and truly move forward instead of being stuck in this emotionally abusive cycle.
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