WarriorRB35 Posted July 5, 2007 Posted July 5, 2007 i am in desperate need of help, my girlfiend and i have become best friends and i can tell her anything and she can do the same and talk about everything so we started to date about a year and a half ago and since then we have broken up 2 times and gotten back together so this is the third time we are a couple and the two times we broke up it was because she left me for another guy [a different guy both times] then she always comes back to me because i am the only one that she can talk to about anything and trust. now i guess it is important to say that the first time we started to date it was bc she was dating a good friend of mine and thats when we started to talk and became such good friends and she struggled for about a month trying to decide if she wanted to be with me or him and ended up with me. So the problem is that both times she left me i knew that it was coming because i could just tell with the way she was acting and she has been doing the same thing for the last week and a half and i just dont know what to do bc since i suspected something i did a little asking around and she does have a little something for this other guy but she isnt cheating on me....i love this girl with all of my heart and would do anything for her and up until the last week it seemed the same way and she was soooo nice to me and would call and text me constantly and tell me how much she loves me and misses and wants to be in my arms.......what do i do?????
jcster Posted July 5, 2007 Posted July 5, 2007 What do you do? You need to realize that your girlfriend has cheated on you twice already and may be in the process of doing it again. Then, when her relationship with the other guy falls through, she knows you will take her back. You need to ask yourself why you allow this to happen? I don't think that it's possible to love someone so much that any behavior is acceptable. Why do you need her so much? What does she give you that you aren't giving yourself?
Author WarriorRB35 Posted July 6, 2007 Author Posted July 6, 2007 thanks alot hitman, im just looking for some help and i can guarantee you that right now i am more in love than you will ever be
PeterJames Posted July 6, 2007 Posted July 6, 2007 thanks alot hitman, im just looking for some help and i can guarantee you that right now i am more in love than you will ever be Don't guarantee things you don't know. But I do see where you're coming from. I think the biggest part of that 'love' comes from being able to tell each other everything. Communication is a big part. What would she do if you left her for another girl? Would she accept you again if you came back? Are you willing to be cheated on more? Sure she'll come back, but what if she doesn't? How will that affect you? You obviously have desirable traits if she keeps coming back. You could find those, and then magnify those, trying to make it so she doesn't want to leave you again. One last thing, does she have many guy friends?
Hitman10000 Posted July 6, 2007 Posted July 6, 2007 Get her a large bouquet of flowers and buy a 2 carat diamond ring. Hurry it up, IT'S LOVE. thanks alot hitman, im just looking for some help and i can guarantee you that right now i am more in love than you will ever be
FormerNiceGuy Posted July 6, 2007 Posted July 6, 2007 the two times we broke up it was because she left me for another guy [a different guy both times] then she always comes back to me because i am the only one that she can talk to about anything and trust. Listen to yourself talk, man. A girl cheated on you twice and now you want to get back with her again? What is up with all these guys here? Have some dignity, man. Have some courage. Have some respect for yourself. Are you going to let some woman cheat on you twice and get away with it. Dump her. Drop her. Leave her. Go for a woman who won’t hurt you like that. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Be a man. Have respect for yourself. She will not suddenly come to her senses and start only choosing you from now on. There are a million women out there. This woman here is nothing but a cheating slut. She has no integrity. Leave her. now i guess it is important to say that the first time we started to date it was bc she was dating a good friend of mine and thats when we started to talk and became such good friends and she struggled for about a month trying to decide if she wanted to be with me or him and ended up with me Listen to this here closely. Even from the beginning, this woman had no integrity. She cheated on your friend to be with you. And guess what? She cheated on you. up until the last week it seemed the same way and she was soooo nice to me and would call and text me constantly and tell me how much she loves me and misses and wants to be in my arms.......what do i do????? Seriously, do you have a pair down there? You get a woman who will not cheat on you. You get a woman who is worthy. This woman here is a slut. Move on. There is no advice left. Everyone here will tell you to have some brains..and go for a girl that won't cheat on you. Stop being so desperate and weak. You do not hook up with a woman who cheated on you twice. It’s easier to start from scratch with new women than it is to fix up old problems with the women you’re pursuing now. Going back to previous girlfriends is a losing proposition. Are you the guy who's going to cry and mope about a girl who doesn't give a damn about you? Or are you going to be the guy who moved on and got another girl and forgot all about her? A girl who truly loves you and truly cares for you would NEVER do that to you.
spookie Posted July 6, 2007 Posted July 6, 2007 Well, I wouldn't go so far as to call her a slut since he sounds about 12 and fidelity' and commitment are big concepts to understand at that age, but she does sound confused about what she wants. She clearly thinks it's ok for her to jerk you around, but the problem is that you think so, too. You need to learn that respect precedes love and she is not respecting you with her behavior. You get respect form people by setting boundaries and not settling for treatment that is sub-par. The boundary here should have been that she loses you as soon as she decides to pursue another guy. Never let yourself be treated as the second choice, the back-up.
FormerNiceGuy Posted July 6, 2007 Posted July 6, 2007 Well, I wouldn't go so far as to call her a slut since he sounds about 12 and fidelity' and commitment are big concepts to understand at that age, but she does sound confused about what she wants. She clearly thinks it's ok for her to jerk you around, but the problem is that you think so, too. You need to learn that respect precedes love and she is not respecting you with her behavior. You get respect form people by setting boundaries and not settling for treatment that is sub-par. The boundary here should have been that she loses you as soon as she decides to pursue another guy. Never let yourself be treated as the second choice, the back-up. Nice. I like this. You worded it better than me. This was what I was trying to say, but you said it better.
Author WarriorRB35 Posted July 6, 2007 Author Posted July 6, 2007 Thanks peterjames and spookie i think i know what i have to do and i have known what i HAVE to do i am just afraid of never being able to be this way with someone again because im not sure how it happened...it just did. Also thankyou jcster and "formerniceguy" for the taking the time to write all of that and for Hitman.....i will leave my comments to myself because im not sure what the rules to this forum are.
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