Aloros Posted July 5, 2007 Posted July 5, 2007 I've been dating my bf for a year, and he means the world to me. He's always been there for me, is so so so appreciative, helps me out without me ever having to ask, and never ever complains about it (sometimes I even have to remind him how much he's helped me out!). My cousin's wedding is this August, and he has been invited. I want him to meet everyone and it's also a good locale for us to take a scuba trip. We're getting our scuba certification this month. Two things are holding me back. First, he's having some potential financial complications, so he told me he couldn't go. He really wants to, but he thinks he should save the money since we're looking at buying a house in the next year or so. Second, my mom and brother both dislike him since he has two kids. My mother's always been judgmental, and my brother always thinks that I could "do better". He's hard to please. I was thinking about purchasing a ticket for him. It would be a slight financial strain on me (meaning, I won't meet my savings goal for the month), and there's the possibility we may have to get a hotel if there's not enough room at my cousin's place. My brother respects my decisions, and although he probably won't socialize with me much if I bring my bf, my mother is a different story. Just thinking about calling her and asking her if it's ok if I bring my bf is stressing me out. She'll tolerate it, but she won't be happy with me. She has a bit of a temper. It's 4.5 days. Should I buy him a ticket or just forget it? I know he's sad to be left behind. I have all his passport info, etc., so I was thinking about surprising him with it for our 1-year anniversary.
Star Gazer Posted July 5, 2007 Posted July 5, 2007 Given how you've described your BF, I'd buy him the ticket without hesitation, but that's just me.
annabelle75 Posted July 5, 2007 Posted July 5, 2007 Given how you've described your BF, I'd buy him the ticket without hesitation, but that's just me. So would I. He sounds like a good guy. As long as it isn't going to stop you from paying your bills this month I would do it. What is the point of having savings if you can't use it to do something nice for the man you love.
jcster Posted July 5, 2007 Posted July 5, 2007 Definitely buy the ticket! Also - get the hotel room, no-one should have to put up with people who dislike them.
Topper Posted July 5, 2007 Posted July 5, 2007 Are you prepared for the family fight? If so tell him you want him there with you. It is your cousins wedding and he was invited. Just plan on not hanging out much with your Mother and Brother.
Author Aloros Posted July 5, 2007 Author Posted July 5, 2007 Thanks so much, you guys. He really is so good to me. I mean, this guy has done my dishes, scrubbed my toilet, made me dinner for a week straight, and he tells me how beautiful he thinks I am every day. Plus, his work ethic has inspired me to get those things done that I've always meant to. Don't get me wrong, I do the same sort of things for him when I have the chance . I don't think he knows how much easier he's made things for me, and if I told him, I know he'd just get embarrassed! Just gathering up the courage to speak with my mom...
jcster Posted July 5, 2007 Posted July 5, 2007 There eventually comes a time when you have to delineate your boundaries with your parents. Your mom is certainly not obligated to like him, but to be so unpleasant as to make you consider changing your vacation plans is unacceptable. You may have to be very firm with her, and let her know that you will not be going where your boyfriend isn't welcome. That usually makes the parents think twice.
Author Aloros Posted July 6, 2007 Author Posted July 6, 2007 Heee! I did it! Talked things over with my mom and my brother, and sounds like it will be ok. I hope they'll really give him a second chance; it takes him a while to warm up to people. I bought him an underwater camera case for our anniversary, so I'm going to sneak the confirmation into the box. I also received an unexpected windfall for nearly the exact amount of the ticket, so this won't dent the savings at all. I'm so excited! I can't wait for him to meet my cousins and for us to go diving together. And I really can't wait to surprise him. I always spend a lot of time and effort picking out just the right gift, so I always get more enjoyment out of giving them. Now I just have to keep my mouth shut until our anniversary. Thanks everyone for your encouragement! Couldn't have done it without it!
Crimson Rose Posted July 12, 2007 Posted July 12, 2007 No, don't buy him a ticket. It is a matter of pride for him, he doesn't want you to buy his ticket. It would be a good time, but it is expensive, and he might not really want to go, anyway. He might have said he had financial difficulties as a "card" to get out of going.
allina Posted July 12, 2007 Posted July 12, 2007 I see no problem with buying a bf a plane ticket, especially if he's a great, loving, supportive guy. Just make sure this doesn't become a habit. The only thing is are you sure that your mother and brother have no real reasons to dislike him? Often family members see negative things in a relationship that you aren't able to see.
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