Lucky555 Posted July 4, 2007 Posted July 4, 2007 So i decided to date a guy. In the beginning he was kind of touchy but i stopped that because he did display that he liked me...which was fine but i don't want him jumping the gun just yet until i know him better because if were not compatible then it would be easier to be friends. we have not actually called these dates its more so hanging out.... First: Ice cream/hang out Second : Movie/redsox/talk third: movies fourth: picks me up shows me his new place So i made it clear to him that i want to get to know him better but it seems like he doesn't really want to talk about himself. He mentions his past relationships and places hes has been to but i feel like there is something missing. I just don't know what. Hes 30 and has a kid who doesnt live with him. I am fine with this because first its about getting to know eachother. now me i am 22 and no kids. These are some issues i am dealing with but don't know how to deal with. 1. He was recently talking about marriage and how he wants to get married and combine money and then be set. he mentioned the word to me a few times i didn't say anything just listened. 2. Second time he has wanted me to sleep over at his place because he is having a party to show off his new place...he wants me to go and i could sleep there. 3. He seems interested in me wants to spend time with me and has mentioned several times that i can go over to his place at any time to hang out with him. 4. there is a girl he likes at this party...what is that a threat? I don't know if i could go because I had to think about it. (my bro is coming up for the weekend) 5. He wants to pursue things further with me. i am hesitant because I DON'T know him at all hes a complete stranger to me and we have only been seeing eachother for two weeks this week will be three. 6. So it seems that he does weed like everyday..he said only now and then but i don't believe him. He smokes which he is trying to quit. Hes planning on buying a car. 7. He does treat me good, compliments me, is thoughtful, pays for our outings which i do also. Hes cute, funny, and smart. 8. Even though were getting to know each other he makes future plans like skiing this winter, or going over to his place to watch a movie. 9. He only calls when he wants to hang out we make plans which is fine. However the calling factor...should he be calling me at all? Just saying hi and getting to talk to me? So i don't know where to go from here...keep dating him, talk to him about how i feel, and keep seeing other people? I seriously have not ruled out other people because I see some signs such as Talking about his ex when i am with him they broke up 6 months ago Drinking when i go out with him it seems like it was on every occasion telling me there is a girl he likes at this party he wants me to go to Seems like he is trying to get me to commit to him and i think its too soon.I don't have strong feelings like head over heels because i take it slow. I rather find out about him till things go any further. In the beginning i had butterflies and now its just like i feel i have to protect myself. Like it seems like he wants me to be his girl but then like it seems it maybe that he wants to sleep with me and then leave? It just seems to good to be true. And when i get that feeling i know something is not right. So tell me what u all think
daphne Posted July 4, 2007 Posted July 4, 2007 I think there are a few red flags. #1 is that he has talked about marriage with you already and he brought it up way too early. It didn't sound like he said the typical "yes, I'd like to get married and have kids one day" which is normal date talk. He sounds like he's trying to bait you by thinking that if you play your cards right, he'll marry YOU. Don't fall for it. He could just be trying to make you jealous with the other girl. Or he could really be interested. The first one, while childish for a 30 year old, would be somewhat innocuous. The second is a dealbreaker in my book. He's obnoxious either way, however. It doesn't sound like he's a very deep person. He wants you to hang out at his house and spend the night because he wants to have sex with you. Pretty simple. He may want you as a girlfriend, but it doesn't sound like you guys even remotely have a connection at this point. I'd give it some time and get to know him a lot better before you entertain the idea of a sleepover.
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