yes Posted February 20, 2003 Posted February 20, 2003 My recent ex and I have a group of common friends. These friends go out now-n-then, and the invitation obviously goes to both me and my ex. So far, ever since the breakup, I simply don't go. Yes, becasue I don't want to see him - I like clean cuts - so no phone, no avoidable in-person encounters, and if he IMs me, I make it increadibly short. Now about not going out with this group: My reasoning is that, I'm only interested in a friendship with one person from that group, the rest are acquintances. The one person - I arranged to spend time with her without the group - I picked an activity that only other ppl in the group wouldn't be interested in. My ex whined that I didn't go out with them (so apparently he went), but I politely cut it off, saying I has other plans, etc. The people in this group surely know I don't wanna hang out with the ex, b/c I can't help getting quiet when he's there. I don't want them to think that this r/s was a huge deal for me, but I do want to see the ex as little as possible s.t. I can move on as soon as possible! Because every time I see/talk to him, I feel like I take a step back. Am I acting the right way here? Comments? Advice? Thanks, -yes
Tony T Posted February 20, 2003 Posted February 20, 2003 You are absolutely correct to avoid him during your healing process and pay no attention to what others say. You are absolutely corrected to arrange outings with individuals you like within the group and, again, pay no attention to the opinions of others. You are absolutely correct that seeing this guy will only impair your healing process. You're doing everything absolutely correctly and you should be very proud of that. When you break up with someone, there is no useful purpose in seeing them for a period of time. One day, you will be able to reaquaint yourselt with him and feel nothing at all. Then you can start doing things with the group again, if it's still intact. Good for you, girl!!!
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