Star Gazer Posted July 3, 2007 Posted July 3, 2007 My old college friend Jeremy decided that I should go out on a date with his friend, Michael. Michael is successful, attractive, and charming. Jeremy had Michael initiate contact with me via my beloved other site (the one I cheat on LS with), MySpace. After a pleasant exchange back and forth, we get into this argument via MySpace message: Michael: So, would you like to get together for happy hour? Star: Sure, that would be great! But this week is bad for me. How about sometime next week? Monday or Thursday, perhaps? Michael: Well, if I thought you were going to be this difficult, I wouldn't have asked. Star: "Difficult"? What do you mean? Michael: Well, if you weren't interested, you just should have come out and said so. I am a big boy, I can handle it. (And on and on and on...) Star: I didn't say I wasn't interested in getting drinks with you, I simply said I couldn't do it this week. I have prior commitments. I made sure to suggest next week as an alternative, it seems you just assumed the worst. Michael: Okay, good. I just didn't want to even start to get to know you if you were going to play games, so don't even start. I'll be outta there fast! Umm... WTF? I wasn't sure how to respond after that, so I didn't. No date/meeting was ever arranged. The following Monday - which was yesterday (one of the days I suggested) - he sends me a MySpace message saying, "Well, it's Monday... Are we going out or what?" No call, despite the fact he has my phone number (I don't have his). I didn't get that message because he sent it pretty late. This morning I received another message from him telling me I'm playing games. I seem to encounter this quite often. A guy asks me out for a particular day/event, and I'm unavailable because of other commitments. If I'm interested, I'm always sure to suggest an alternative day or period of time so that they know I'm not blowing them off. They seem to think my response is a brush off or something, when it's clearly not intended as such. I mean, do these guys seriously expect me to drop my previous plans and obligations simply because they asked me out for a particular day? I mean, c'mon. And then he doesn't confirm my suggested plans, but just assumes I'm waiting around for him, and if I'm not just waiting around for him or chasing him down I'm now "playing games"? What the heck, man?! Am I doing something to bring this on, or am I just having a string of bad luck with some odd guys?
jcster Posted July 3, 2007 Posted July 3, 2007 I've been noticing the same thing. There must have been some article in Maxim or something! The guys I've been meeting have been hyper-sensitive and defensive. Maybe they think we should drop everything and jump for joy just because they noticed us? So, are you going to bother going out with this guy? He sounds like a jerk.
InsanityImpaired Posted July 3, 2007 Posted July 3, 2007 Star, you are a woman. That means it is impossible for you to have other engagements or commitments, that are even on remotely the same level as any guy. Is it not obvious? If people cannot fathom the thought that your life may actually involve something else than domestic work, you are better of without them.
doiask42much Posted July 3, 2007 Posted July 3, 2007 I think you are blameless in this, SG. These guys are just weirdos. I had a similar thing happen for a second date. I was just in a really low mood and knew I wouldn't be good company so I asked for a raincheck. I emailed him a week later because I hadn't heard anything and he told me he had "moved on" because I took too long. And get this: he LIED to me about his age, and I let that go, and now he's moved on after a week? Whateffingever!
doiask42much Posted July 3, 2007 Posted July 3, 2007 Oh yeah, he lied about never having been married before as well!
InsanityImpaired Posted July 3, 2007 Posted July 3, 2007 He lied about his age or could not remember his year of birth, DIA42M?
allina Posted July 3, 2007 Posted July 3, 2007 That guy sounds like he has major issues, psycho alert! Not to mention that he's being rude. I don't think it's your fault at all, the only thing I'd suggest is when some guy pulls this pissy sh*t with you get rid of them faster than you have been
Steveto Posted July 3, 2007 Posted July 3, 2007 Nah, this guy has been reading too much into dating..his lines are strikingly familiar to doubleyourdating-dot-net..This guy is working from a script..no originality at all. He's only playing you. just ignore him.
sb129 Posted July 3, 2007 Posted July 3, 2007 Big red flag there SG- I think you are just having a run of bad luck, and they say it comes in threes so maybe there you go. Michael sounds hyper-defensive, and he sounds like too much hard work to be any fun....
McFadden Posted July 3, 2007 Posted July 3, 2007 I hate how some guys do this a lot (saying that women all play games.) I don't think I've had it specifically said to me but some of my friends who are guys are always talking about how women in general play games, or someone they are dating plays games and its always those "macho" type guys. I always feel like telling them "maybe she was busy or maybe she just isn't interested in you, have you thought about that." Lol.
Author Star Gazer Posted July 3, 2007 Author Posted July 3, 2007 When I was on eHarmony, I'd get guys closing me out a lot with the reason of "This match didn't respond to my communication" because I took *gasp* two or three days to respond to them. JFC! I don't play games, so I'm always very frustrated when I'm told that I am...particularly before we've even been out on a date! Pfffft.
Author Star Gazer Posted July 3, 2007 Author Posted July 3, 2007 I don't think it's your fault at all, the only thing I'd suggest is when some guy pulls this pissy sh*t with you get rid of them faster than you have been Lots of guys pull this pissy sh*t. Don't worry, I won't be seeing him.
doiask42much Posted July 3, 2007 Posted July 3, 2007 He lied about his age or could not remember his year of birth, DIA42M? He lied about his age because the truth sounded "bad" to him. I'll admit, it did sound bad. 40. Eek! He told me he was 35, which, when I was 29, even sounded bad to me. But I realized I had to confront my own issues with aging and start considering men in their 30s as I was soon to be 30 myself, then unbeknownst to me, I get jumped into a whole new decade! But he didn't look old and he was fit so I was like ok, whatever. I guess I understand why you would've done that, as people do assume things bassed on numbers. I just thought he expected a lot more consideration from me than he gave.
Trialbyfire Posted July 3, 2007 Posted July 3, 2007 I think this guy is bearing a cross, not a chip on his shoulders... The first thing that came to mind after reading this post is the 90's pop hit by kriss kross called Jump...
allina Posted July 3, 2007 Posted July 3, 2007 Lots of guys pull this pissy sh*t. Don't worry, I won't be seeing him. Good, he's been placed in the reject pile Reminds me of a guy I went on 2 dates with, then when I didn't return his call for just under two days he left me a voice mail saying I was full of myself and phony
doiask42much Posted July 3, 2007 Posted July 3, 2007 When I was on eHarmony, I'd get guys closing me out a lot with the reason of "This match didn't respond to my communication" because I took *gasp* two or three days to respond to them. JFC! I don't play games, so I'm always very frustrated when I'm told that I am...particularly before we've even been out on a date! Pfffft. I would go so far as to say you seem exceptionally forthright! You made sure to offer him alternative days that would work. You did everything right. Have you ever had guys freak out on you on MySpace too? I have had a few write me and be like, I see you read my e-mail but chose not to respond. Have I done something wrong? If you don't want me to bother you, just say so. And this will be a complete stranger I've never said a word to. Very odd.
Art_Critic Posted July 3, 2007 Posted July 3, 2007 SG.. the guy seems like a controlling piece of crap.. He most certainly wasn't going to try and win you over with compliments.. instead he insults you with telling you that you are being difficult when you weren't. I say good riddens...
Author Star Gazer Posted July 3, 2007 Author Posted July 3, 2007 Have you ever had guys freak out on you on MySpace too? I have had a few write me and be like, I see you read my e-mail but chose not to respond. Have I done something wrong? If you don't want me to bother you, just say so. That was actually one of his first messages!! MySpace is so frustrating how it tells you that someone's read your message... If I can't respond right away, they wig out!
alphamale Posted July 3, 2007 Posted July 3, 2007 Am I doing something to bring this on, or am I just having a string of bad luck with some odd guys? I would guess it's the latter SG...
oppath Posted July 3, 2007 Posted July 3, 2007 Wow, you actually offered alternative days?!? Since when do girls do that? That never happens to me. I'll get "I can't" but I never get an alternate time and it irks me like crazy, so I assume no interest. Although, when they are busy for a long time, I'll only weakly follow through for their suggested availability, but I will follow through. Crap, now I'm feeling pressure to ask out a girl. No more games .
alphamale Posted July 3, 2007 Posted July 3, 2007 Wow, you actually offered alternative days?!? Since when do girls do that? That never happens to me. I'll get "I can't" but I never get an alternate time and it irks me like crazy, so I assume no interest.. you're correct in your assumption...never forget that women tend to know more about social graces than men do.
oppath Posted July 3, 2007 Posted July 3, 2007 But then they'll send an email asking why they hadn't heard from me? I've noticed it is the younger girls (young 20's) who are still learning their social graces. Over 25, they are usually pretty forward about being able to meet and making it happen.
doiask42much Posted July 3, 2007 Posted July 3, 2007 That was actually one of his first messages!! MySpace is so frustrating how it tells you that someone's read your message... If I can't respond right away, they wig out! HA! Too funny! Yeah, I hate that feature. When I used to go on (I don't anymore), it was fun to quickly read some "fan mail" for a diversion but I rarely had time to reply at that moment.
McFadden Posted July 3, 2007 Posted July 3, 2007 I would go so far as to say you seem exceptionally forthright! You made sure to offer him alternative days that would work. You did everything right. Have you ever had guys freak out on you on MySpace too? I have had a few write me and be like, I see you read my e-mail but chose not to respond. Have I done something wrong? If you don't want me to bother you, just say so. And this will be a complete stranger I've never said a word to. Very odd. Some random guy who seemed creepy was messaging me for weeks on Myspace. After I didn't reply he said "I noticed that youre reading my messages, how hard would it be for you to reply and tell me about yourself?" Then after I didn't reply to that he said something like "I noticed that you are too much of a coward to reply to me, so I have blocked you." I was like what the hell? I didn't talk to him so he had to block me? Lol. I probably should have replied instead of ignoring it but his messages were creepy and I couldn't figure out what to say lol.
doiask42much Posted July 3, 2007 Posted July 3, 2007 Some random guy who seemed creepy was messaging me for weeks on Myspace. After I didn't reply he said "I noticed that youre reading my messages, how hard would it be for you to reply and tell me about yourself?" Then after I didn't reply to that he said something like "I noticed that you are too much of a coward to reply to me, so I have blocked you." I was like what the hell? I didn't talk to him so he had to block me? Lol. I probably should have replied instead of ignoring it but his messages were creepy and I couldn't figure out what to say lol. What sort of stuff was he saying? I guess there are a lot of hypersensitive guys out there, eh?
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