lainhateslie Posted July 3, 2007 Posted July 3, 2007 ok this is my last resort. here's the detail about the whole thing with me. been with this girl for 2 months, shes nice and kind to me. she tried to break up with me because of she's missing her ex, i agreed. i moved on, found another girl, but me and this ex moved in together because i was looking for a place and she had one. right after i moved in the ex found out that she still loved me, so she begged me to come back; but i was already with the other girl, so i rejected her. however in the meantime i kind of missed my ex as well, so we slept together for a couple of times. i know this is cheating, i would consider that i was only sleeping with the woman i really loved. the new girl is a virgin and i never touched her. anyway towards the end of the 2nd month i realized that i never really moved on. i still love my ex so much and never really loved the new girl. so i told the new girl that i had to break up with her.. and tried to get back to my ex... but funny thing is, right after i broke up with the new girl, my ex has moved on completely. what she's treating me now, is that she brings a guy home.. makes out with him, loud laughs.. when i tried to go over to her side and talk to her when she's alone, she seemed really hated me. she has completely changed her opinion of me and i felt so so hurt. whenever she brings a guy home, i would lean on the door between us and listen to them. every word they say would hurt me like needles poking at my heart... it's been like this for 2 weeks... what should i do? i tried to move out but i realized that i would rather have her presence with another guy then not having her at all.. this is how much i really really love her.. i tried NC but i cant bear the pain that i miss her so much. im not that kind of guy that tells everyone around me about what i feel, especially her, i tried not to talk to her at all and act cool, but she doesnt seem to be being moved at all... probably because she has this other guy... i dont know.. i feel really hurt now... i actually wanted to kill myself today.. if she brings another guy home.. luckily she didnt.. oh god please help me...
awayfromthesunagain Posted July 3, 2007 Posted July 3, 2007 I'm sorry I read your story and understand what u are going through. First of all she wanted you back because she was feeling a bit jealous that you moved on so fast on her as she thought you had. Now that you are free there is absolutely no reason for her to stick with you... hope it does not hurt you to face this reality but you still CAN cope with it believe me. What you have to do is try to get over it and believe me, I went through this, trying to kill yourself to prove how much you love her IS definitely NOT the solution. If she doesnt care now, she wont later. Suicide is not a revenge and will not take the pain away. It's YOUR life not hers, so put yourself back together.. if you can move out, please do so, dont hurt yourself more, it wont be of any good to you, you suffured enough believe me there is no point in letting you be a marthyr. She moved on, ok fine, you should to.. Im not telling you that its today tomorrow not even a week later that you will be fine.. but you will be at some point and you will know it, so dont let yourself drop. You are NOT definitely NOT alone. Express yourself, your pain and sorrows or whatever you might feel here, but leave this girl alone, she is not good for you buddy (from my perspective). You should get your life back on track, think about the way your life was before her.. ok its not the same now but you were somebody without her, you still can be somebody today STILL without her. Believe in yourself, it IS going to be okie. HOLD ON!!!!
todreaminblue Posted July 3, 2007 Posted July 3, 2007 im sorry to hear what you are going through and even sorrier that you felt like ending it...i have been there done that and had electric shock to prove it... i cant give you any sure fire way to get her back......i can ask if you have some friends close by that you could visit if she were to bring someone home.....and if you were to fill your time with anything but her.....make yourself busy.......let her see you having fun and enjoying yourself........then she might just want you back.....but then again if you fill your time with fun people...... old friends and new friends..warm skies and hot nights....and learn to like yourself again.....maybe you just might not want her back......good luck best wishes let me know how you go......todreaminblue
nandinim Posted July 3, 2007 Posted July 3, 2007 To be able to revive the flame of the failed relationship, it would be better if you would re-invent yourself. By doing so, you are creating a different person in you, a person that would re-excite your partner and would incite excitement and a sense of mystery. Also...get busy and meet new people and make new friends. This will help you not-become what you have and buddy life is short and sometimes it never gives a second chance so just throw that "killing yourself" though out of the window !
underpants Posted July 3, 2007 Posted July 3, 2007 I find it a little ironic that you feel for a girl that was still hung up on her ex, then after the break up, you meet someone and you are still hung up on the girl that was hung up on the ex....and then your new relationship sparked momentary interest from your ex. It just read a little like a Dr. Suess, or a strange merry go round. I don't think your neighbor/roomate ex is a good match for you. If you can only spark her interest by being unavailable or sparking competition then you should really ask yourself if she is good enough for you. You sound like a smart guy and you shouldn't let yourself get so caught up in anyone elses' problems or damage that you feel that lost without them. Start doing fun and good things for yourself. If moving is a way for you to distance yourself from her until you feel more centered then by all means do it, who cares what she thinks. If you should one day meet a girl that sparks a genuine interest and whom you find attractive on their own merit, then go for it. If this ex should pop her head into your life in the face of competition then take it as flattery and nothing more. Don't let her or your thoughts of her sabatoge a shot at a healthy relationship in the future. Regards, Unders
vivrantflo Posted July 3, 2007 Posted July 3, 2007 Wow dude.. no wonder you're so depressed and mentioning killing yourself.. you're torturing yourself!!! How can you live with an ex that you still love.. who is bringing home other men?? Why would u put yourself through that?? Move out of that house man. I'd rather pay higher rent, then to lose my mind. I can't even imagine what that's like. Now I'm not saying to give up on her completely, but you really need to get yourself out of that situation. Move out, go NC, and try to heal from this.
Author lainhateslie Posted July 4, 2007 Author Posted July 4, 2007 i feel so much better after hearing your suggestions/advice on this. i know im not alone. the reason why i had to put myself in that situation where i had to live with the ex next door when she's bringing her new bf was because i felt guilty for cheating on the other girl and being nice to my ex and rejecting my ex at the same time. i imagined it would be really painful for my ex to be able to talk and get close to me, which in other words im giving her hope, while i was actually with another girl and rejecting my ex. i feel that was so wrong so i think i deserve some punishment. so im kind of relieved that shes bringing the new bf so i can get what i deserved... i know im torturing myself, but i did torture my ex before... so im basically just paying back what i owed. it's just my chemistry and my brain doesnt go along. i know what i should do but i just cant do it. i cant focus on my work or anything else... but i do feel much better after reading your replies. thank you so much for them.
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