SurfGirl42 Posted July 2, 2007 Posted July 2, 2007 My fiance and I (he is 31 and I am 28) are getting married next July. We have been engaged for not quite a year. While we see eye to eye on just about everything else, we come from very different financial backgrounds. My family is very middle class, both parents have always worked, and I have always supported myself and put myself through college. His mom has never worked and his dad makes a LOT of money. He never had to pay for his college education, car, etc. He and his family (he has 3 sisters and 1 brother) have traveled all over the world. I am starting to feel jealous of the money situation. I have never been outside the US, although travelling is something that I have always longed to do. I work 60+ hours a week at a stressful job, but I cannot afford to travel internationally the way that I have always dreamed. He is taking a 3 week luxury cruise through Europe next month with his family and I am feeling very resentful. I would love more than anything to have this opportunity and desperately need the vacation (I have been saving up my vacation time for our wedding which is out of state). Although I have friends here and will make a point to keep myself busy while he is gone, I can't help but feel extremely jealous and resentful that he gets to travel yet again. Every time I think about him laying around on a ship or exploring a new city while I'm in stressed out in my office over yet another deadline, I get sick to my stomach. I'm having a really, really hard time being happy for him. I don't want to be that woman that can't be happy for their future husband, but at the same time I am sick with jealousy because he has been given yet another opportunity that I have always dreamed of but could never afford. I know that this trip is costing his family about $8,000/person. Am I out of line for feeling this way? How can I get over my resentment?
McFadden Posted July 2, 2007 Posted July 2, 2007 Well on the bright side, once you get married won't you be sharing the money?
Steveto Posted July 2, 2007 Posted July 2, 2007 I don't know what I can say to make you feel better, but you really should not feel bad or jealous. You need to stop thinking of money as a vehicle to happiness. I have a ton of friends like your BF/fiance and I came from a single parent family for about half my life. When I was younger, my friends parents had multiple houses, companies helicopters, lear jets blah blah blah..and maybe now I am just desensitized, but really...I come from a moderate middle class family (just happened to go to really posh private schools). My father had grade 8 education and put 2 kids through private school. Here am I..in schools where their parents have HUGE money..and I don't mean 5-20 million..I mean 100-700 million and sometimes more. At first it really got to me and felt out of place..like REAL out of place, but then You're not comparing apples to apples. Be proud of who you are..be proud that you work hard..don't resent it. I wanted to travel all over, just like you..and I am..I pay my way everywhere..I now live and work in Europe..with MY own money..you will be more proud of your own accomplishments then having someone do it for you. not saying having money is bad..no. I am just saying..this is something you can't compare to you. You can make just as much working half the time IF you work hard. Really, don't be jealous. It's hard, I know..trust me...but now, I know that I can do most of the things on my own..the satisfaction awesome.
mental_traveller Posted July 2, 2007 Posted July 2, 2007 Yes, you are out of line for feeling like this. Quite frankly it is a bit silly - think of all the people in the world who are terminally ill, deformed, mentally handicapped, enslaved, or living in a 3rd world hellhole where they can barely put food on the table. You are young, gainfully employed, in a nice relationship, and living in one of the richest and freest countries on earth. You have lots to be thankful for, yet you are moaning about not being able to go on a luxury cruise and trip abroad? Oh, how my heart bleeds for you.
Krytellan Posted July 2, 2007 Posted July 2, 2007 Yes, you are out of line for feeling like this. Quite frankly it is a bit silly - think of all the people in the world who are terminally ill, deformed, mentally handicapped, enslaved, or living in a 3rd world hellhole where they can barely put food on the table. You are young, gainfully employed, in a nice relationship, and living in one of the richest and freest countries on earth. You have lots to be thankful for, yet you are moaning about not being able to go on a luxury cruise and trip abroad? Oh, how my heart bleeds for you. Wow, get over yourself. That has to be one of the most useless and egotistical posts I've seen. We appreciate your compassion and usefulness, assuredly.
Star Gazer Posted July 2, 2007 Posted July 2, 2007 SurfGirl - I can empathize with you in a way, as I come from a similar background as you. How long have you two been together in total? Have you spent much time with his family? Do you get along with them? Personally, if I were engaged to someone, I think I might almost expect to have been included on the trip. If my fiance didn't extend the invitation, I'd expect his parents to. You're engaged, and as soon as you're married, it would be ridiculous not to include you. Maybe they just wanted one last bio-family only soiree kinda thing?
I love hot men. Posted July 9, 2007 Posted July 9, 2007 Were you invited to go on the trip, even though you can't go because you can't take a three-week vacation? Also, if your fiance is that rich, can you quit your job? Just think, once you're married, you won't even have to work at all and be able to travel with your husband all you want!!! Eye on the prize!!! Eye on the prize!!! Light at the end of the Tunnel! He's your fiance and he's LOADED. The day after the wedding, you walk into your boss and resign from your job. Yay!
Recommended Posts