bobby_d_86 Posted July 2, 2007 Posted July 2, 2007 Hello, I'd love to have some people's opinion on my current situation with my ex-girlfriend... Background: - I am a couple of years older than her, but we're both in our early 20s. - We knew each other for about 1 yr before dating. Dating History: - We started dating for a short period of time but decided to stop after she wasn't sure about things; I was still keen to keep dating but understood how she felt and was cool with calling it quits - We kept in contact, chatting a few times a week - even hung out with friends on a couple of occasions - Then a month later she indicated to me that she'd like to try going out again. So we went out a few times and continued dating for several months. - After a few months of dating we had some long discussion about our relationship... She didn't want to keep going out but also didn't want to break up - she was very unsure about things. I felt like breaking up was going to happen sooner or later so I took the first step and ended things. Personally, I would have like to work through the issues as I still quite liked her but didn't see the point unless she was 'keen' to try Post Break-up: - The first couple of weeks we has some form of communication almost daily, generally the conversation wasn’t hostile... And we just talk about what's been happening in each others lives; it still possessed that emotional connection we had while going out. - About 2 or 3 weeks after breaking up I asked her how she felt about things and I told her what I was thinking: I’d like to give it another go if she was interested… Her response was something along the lines of “I think we made the right decision” - Almost 2 months on we still talk several times a week and the intensity of the conversations is still there between us – 90% of the time she started the contact between us My thoughts, questions and comments: - Sometimes I find this constant communication hard/confusing… What’s the point if we’re not going out and we’re not going to go out? Does it mean she still has feelings and there is a chance? - I feel a little hurt by some of things she said when we broke up… she wasn't totally honest when we broke up or when we went out – I’m not totally sure but I’ve never told her that I felt hurt - Despite feeling hurt I’d still like to give it another go… I feel like I’ve matured a lot in the last few months… - Should I say anything to her? Like either are there still feeling there? And if not, you stop contacting me? Or should I keep quite and let time play its course? So any thoughts, comments or recommendation on the situation would be much appreciated. Thanks
trent25 Posted July 2, 2007 Posted July 2, 2007 I'm on the same boat as you are. I am going to try to make this as simple as possible. You have to make it so that she asks YOU "Do you think we could work on this again". This may not happen, but if you do what I recommend, you have a better chance than what you are doing now, right now its at zero. Read this carefully...... Cut down the amount of time you talk, see, or write to her. Almost to zero. She knows you will always be there, so she doesn't miss you. You have to build up attraction again. Be nice, but be stern. When she says why have we not talked in so long, say "I have beeing seeing some chicks, I have also been busy". Never tell her you are hurt, never mention getting back together. You act like it doesn't matter. When she calls sometimes you take it when you are not busy. When she cries, you are not there always to comfort her. YOU TREAT HER LIKE ONE OF THE GUYS. SHE NEEDS TO KNOW, IF SHE WANTS TO BE TREATED GOOD BY YOU, SHE NEEDS TO BE WITH YOU.
trent25 Posted July 2, 2007 Posted July 2, 2007 Remember, She is a woman, she can get a guy anytime. Its harder for a man to get a chick. So don't be surprised if she never comes back. BUT, if you do what I say, you raise your chances of her coming back by a large amount. She needs to be attracted to you again. The only way is to stop being such a good friend to her. She is now your acquaintance.
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