mel1128 Posted July 2, 2007 Posted July 2, 2007 Here is my situation: My boyfriend and I have been dating for close to 8 years. He is 22 and I am 21. We have lived together the past year. We had always talked about spending our entire lives together, kids, etc. We truly thought that we were soulmates and nothing would break us up. In April I found out I had been accepted to vet school 4.5 hours away. This has been an issue the last few years of the relationship - with neither of us wanting to do long distance but him not wanting to move away from his family and his job as a police officer, which he loves. When I found out I had been accepted, we had a big blowout with him saying he was not going to move with me and that we had to break up and leave our apartment and break our lease. Eventually we resolved things and he said he would move with me to Virginia. Over the last few months he has talked about moving, and this past Tuesday was supposed to go take a test starting the application process for the police department in Virginia. Needless to say, on the day he was supposed to drive down to Virginia he told me they called him saying they had no more openings and had cancelled the testing. I was looking through our cell phone account online that night to find the overages, and realized he had never received a call. The next day, I called the PD and sure enough they were still hiring. He lied about all of it for the past few months. I confronted him only to find out he never intended on moving, and lied to me about it so he wouldn't have to hear me bitch at him and fight and so we wouldn't have to break up and break our lease a few months ago. I was super pissed, told him I couldn't be in a relationship with someone I couldn't trust, and asked him to move out ASAP. He started packing his stuff that night (thursday). When his stuff was half packed, I broke down, sobbing and begging him not to leave. I apologized and said I would do anything for us to stay together. He said he wanted out, he wanted time alone to be independent, he had fallen out of love with me the past few months and had kept it pent up - because I was too controlling. I asked if he wanted to date around - he said that's not the kind of guy he is (and that's the truth) and that he just wants to be alone, doesnt want to be with anyone. His dad came over and started hauling his stuff away. I got angry and went to my parents for the night. The next day (friday) I stopped back by the apartment as he was finishing up moving out his stuff, gave him a letter detailing how sorry I was, that we've both made mistakes, I will let him have as much time as he needs, but will try to move on, that I would consider long distance if the only alternative was never seeing him again, call me at any time but I won't call you sort of thing...and said all I wanted was a hug. He gave it to me, then I left. Haven't heard from him since. I've been moving all my stuff out too (its too hard to stay there alone...I'm now back at my parents until I go to school in a month). Do you think he will come back to me or at least contact me sometime soon? Any opinions/thoughts/advice is appreciated!!!
Lizzie60 Posted July 2, 2007 Posted July 2, 2007 It's hard to say whether he'll be back or not... But for now...you need to concentrate on you... never mind him for now...there is nothing you can do...so give him time and space and who knows, he might be back...he will miss you eventually. My bet is that when you'll start your studies, your new life...you won't have as much time to think about him...and you might eventually forget him and maybe meet someone else... I know it's impossible for you, right now, to even think about someone else or think about forgetting him... You are both awfully young to have had such a long relationship... you each need to take time out for a while and see where things go from there. Don't contact him...don't nag him... just leave him alone.. in the meantime, go out with your friends, spend time with your mom and dad, and sibblings (if you have any)... and prepare for your studies. By the way, congrats for your admission to vet school...this is awesome... Good luck with everything.
Oriana Posted July 2, 2007 Posted July 2, 2007 My best advice is one I got from someone when I was going through the same thing. If your best friend came to you with the same problem, what would you tell her? You are your best friend always remember that and treat yourself that way.
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