Jmina Posted July 1, 2007 Posted July 1, 2007 i would REALLY appreciate some help from you guys here.. any opinions would be great. thanks. This is what my ex has said to me "we truly made love" "i didnt leave you because i didn't love you" "i want to experience other people" (meaning men, she has never slept with a guy before, but was also put off by them in her past...and has always had crushes on women) "i dont want to spend my life wondering" "i worry too much, i worry that we arent meant to be together and then we we are apart i worry that we are meant to be together" "i love having sex with you" "i love your body" then she said this almost two months after we broke up "the love is deep and strong for me, but it just wasnt the right time" " i have unfinished business" "when it comes down to it i just dont want to be in a relationship right now" "what will be will be" she has said in anger (alot of anger by the way...she can get angry very easy by jumping to conclusions) "i want to be ****ed by a man" "i love you but i dont want to be with you not now not ever" "leave me alone so i can get over you" "we are through its over, have a nice life" then after that fight she said "its just so hard because we love each other so much" i said, i will love you till the day i die, and my soul with always be right next to yours for eternity. she said "i second that" "no matter what we say it is going to be hell when the other gets with someone" "we desperatley need time apart to get over each other" "the love is strong and deep that we have" "i love you" "it turns out we did need to talk, after some space, i feel more at peace now, but we still need some space so we dont get fuzzy and confused again" (a day or two after that she sent me some pictures through mms of her face because it was swollen from getting some teeth out... now that was confusing because i thought she wanted space.....did she send it just because she wanted some sympathy and she knew i would give it to her?..the day after the pictures she didnt reply to my sms asking if she was feeling better.) "we will both know when we are ready to be friends" so yeah, to me its like she does love me but not enough to be in a relation ship... or she left the one she loved (me) for the ones she apparently likes (guys) because the curiosity of the opposite sex got to her, even though she said it wouldnt. she hasnt been with a guy since the break up... and is single and not looking. i still appear in her myspace photos, and have come up in some of her surveys she has written on her myspace. so i know she hasnt wanted to totally forget me ...just yet. she talks to all of my friends and she went out with my bestfriend whom is so close to me we call each other sisters...she said that my name was brought up a few times when she was remembering things shes moving interstate "for a change of pase" (into the home of a good friend of her familys who happens to be a 50 something year old lesbian...and i know that my ex and this lady can talk and she would be able to help her somehow. is she going there on purpose!!?) she blocks her feelings extremely well and most of the time feels numb. she has called me her angel, her soul mate, her everything after we broke up... now after all of this, and knowing that she doesnt want to be in a relationship with me, and me not knowing for sure if i want to be with her either, i still feel a connection, and an enormous amount of love for her that grows everday, and every day i fight the feeling that we are going to be together again (im not sure if its as friends or a couple) but i ignore it, fight it, tell myself not to be such a fool, but the feeling always comes back. some days i accept it and feel happy that we might, other days i push it away because i dont want to end up hurt again. has anyone else had this feeling? and it turned out to be wrong, or true, or hasnt happened yet? family and friends have said to me "she just wanted to be like you" "no man can offer her what you did" "she will go away to find that she has lost something very important to her and you come back" "peer pressure" "she is just very confused" "she has come to a cross road in her life and its a shame that you got hurt in her soul searching" deep down i feel that she is lying to herself if she thinks that she doesnt want to be with me again. i think she will find that she will yearn for me someway even in years to come. .. its not only my heart talking, its also my head because i know that she blocks feelings to get through things, and she lies to herself about what shes feeling too. she definetly cant be in a relationship at the moment, but after shes found her strengths and worked through her issues, either shes going to be changed or she will come back. who knows. i just know she loves me very much... and i dont know if its just as friends and as a person of if there will always be more.... anyway, some help, advice, opinions would be nice. thank you so much Jmina xxx
sao2 Posted July 1, 2007 Posted July 1, 2007 I am far from an expert but I think she is very confused about her sexuality. She sounds pretty young. I am in a similar situation, I just feel deep down my __________ I hate labels, is going to find her way back to me. So anyways yes, I am there with you. With other break-ups I didn't feel this way, but this time, definitely. Good luck with your situation.
PinkAngelStar Posted July 2, 2007 Posted July 2, 2007 How old is she? Sorry to be harsh but sounds like she just wants some experience of other people and her words are just to soften the blow to you. "i didnt leave you because i didn't love you" - This really cushions the harsh reality. If you face up to it, it's not you she wants to be with, it's other people. She also sounds very confused and young. It's not fair to be saying that to you, as you still feel that her mind could be twisted as you feel she still loves you. Take some time apart and see what happens, she needs to get this out her system.
JulieJ Posted July 2, 2007 Posted July 2, 2007 I think the two of you should take some time apart from each other to determine how you really feel about each other. You are broken up so there is not reason to keep talking about why it happened. If she wanted to break up then she needs to understand that she can't keep relying on you for emotional support. She needs to go or she needs to stay, but you need to make it clear that she needs to chose one.
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