LeeLoo Posted June 30, 2007 Posted June 30, 2007 I still have no idea. He wrote this huge post in his blog about how much he loved me and how wonderful he thought I was while he was home for Christmas last year, then he cheated on me with another girl, and broke up with me for her. He was very confusing - telling me one minute he didn't want to be with me and the next trying to make out with me, saying that he still cared about me and that I was wonderful and then turning around and calling me an evil, manipulative bitch behind my back. If he really did have that much of a problem with me, I can't see why he couldn't have told it to my face instead of kissing my ass when I was around. I'd much rather have someone be more direct with me.
Curmudgeon Posted June 30, 2007 Posted June 30, 2007 My last relationship was a 25-year marriage that ended in divorce. I was not all that good a husband, less attentive than I should have been and we grew apart. She was/is also narcissistic and wasn't getting the attention and adoration from me she craved. I felt she was stuck in her youth and hadn't advanced. She felt I was an indifferent provider and she could do better. She found a boyfriend and left. I divorced her. End of story!
Aloros Posted July 3, 2007 Posted July 3, 2007 My last relationship was 5.5 years. He kept getting kicked out of school, had little ambition, never knew what he wanted, and couldn't keep his word to me. I graduated on time and knew exactly what I wanted. While I was working, he was still struggling to make the grades at a city college. He would graduate after 7 years. I paid for most things. I treated him like a child because I felt like his mother. I lost respect for him because he never took full responsibility for the things that went wrong in his life. It was always some outside influence (which is probably why he never changed). I started to become attracted to other people and started losing my attraction for him. Went to couples counseling, where he was told he needed to work on himself before he could be with me. I could wait for him, or go. I left. I'd waited too long already.
SunnySideUp Posted July 4, 2007 Posted July 4, 2007 Aloros Wow, that sounds EXACTLY like my husband, but mine hasn't been in school for years and only stayed in school for a couple semesters. I recently decided to quit school to be home with our special needs baby, because he was doing a good job of neglecting our son while at home with him. Three months ago I told him he needs to get a job by July 3rd. He was gung-ho (or so I thought) until this week I realized he has no job lined up. Today is July 3rd. I stopped working today. He has no job in sight. I'm thinking of leaving him.
Krytellan Posted July 4, 2007 Posted July 4, 2007 Mine ended because apparently my need for attention, intimacy and reciprocity was just too much of a strain on her part of the relationship. It got in the way of her work and her own "internal world".
Star Gazer Posted July 4, 2007 Posted July 4, 2007 Mine ended because apparently my need for attention, intimacy and reciprocity was just too much of a strain on her part of the relationship. It got in the way of her work and her own "internal world". So bitter... ...and yet so accurate. My last "real" relationship ended simply because we were incompatible. We were two competely different people with completely different goals and desires and outlooks on life, held together only by our insatiable appetites for each other's body and the fantasy of ending up with our "first."
Trialbyfire Posted July 4, 2007 Posted July 4, 2007 Mine ended due to infidelity. Divorce was worth every last penny spent. As for previous relationships, just incompatibility.
Krytellan Posted July 4, 2007 Posted July 4, 2007 So bitter... ...and yet so accurate. Not bitter, I just lashed out in a moment of weakness. Starting to regret the one good girl that I let get away before I met my wife. The one and only person I can really remember that ever paid attention to me in the way that I only now realize I can't do without. It gets really heavy when I think about how difficult it is to find someone who has the same easy-going, "nothing to freak out about" attitude that I do... and that knows how to pay attention to someone, and treasures physical intimacy, and appreciates good company, and likes to have a beer and chill at a baseball game, and is willing to open up a part of themselves to someone else, and most of all thinks of me when I'm not around and notices my absence without feeling like it's "wrong" or "weak" to do so. My, how depressing. I seriously will have to settle my entire life won't I?
Star Gazer Posted July 4, 2007 Posted July 4, 2007 Not bitter, I just lashed out in a moment of weakness. You're allowed. Starting to regret the one good girl that I let get away before I met my wife. The one and only person I can really remember that ever paid attention to me in the way that I only now realize I can't do without. Do you know how to get ahold of HER? It gets really heavy when I think about how difficult it is to find someone who has the same easy-going, "nothing to freak out about" attitude that I do... and that knows how to pay attention to someone, and treasures physical intimacy, and appreciates good company, and likes to have a beer and chill at a baseball game, and is willing to open up a part of themselves to someone else, and most of all thinks of me when I'm not around and notices my absence without feeling like it's "wrong" or "weak" to do so. My, how depressing. I seriously will have to settle my entire life won't I? No, you won't. I think that sounds freakin' awesome. She's out there, K.
Krytellan Posted July 4, 2007 Posted July 4, 2007 Do you know how to get ahold of HER? Yeah, we talk. The only ex I am still in contact with. She is currently married and living in Buffalo (as always) and trying to have children. I'm not sure, but I have to think my window of opportunity is very small at this point
oppath Posted July 4, 2007 Posted July 4, 2007 It ended because her ex tried to come back in her life, causing her to act distant, so I pushed, she got confused, and needed to be on her own. Basically, I was a rebound but I hate that term because it implies victimhood. Ultimately, we both are immature and need to grow in many ways. She still wanted to sleep with me after the breakup; I was furiously insulted. And she didn't tell me about her ex, so she was dishonest, and that is no way to have a relationship or even friendship. So I suppose there are some big incompatibilities, though for the most part, we were extremely compatible. She gave me psychological visibility for the first time in my life. I only wish she had been more separated from her ex so she were more emotionally ready. Then again, maybe she just realized I wasn't the guy for her, I'll never know. We'll never speak again because I became angry when she asked to be friends with benefits. I suppose I can either choose (1) that she wanted to use me while dating other guys until she found one she wanted a relationship with or [which would be the likely result] or (2) she really did value me in her life, but became overwhelmed and confused and couldn't handle the relationship I was asking for [she had some career stuff too]. I don't like either viewpoint, because one makes me bitter, and the other makes me upset with myself for expressing anger and thereby burning bridges. I suppose (3) would be she realized we weren't fully compatible but generally wanted me in her life as a friend or lover with no intent to use me. In short, we couldn't resist our bodies, lust was mistaken for love on her end, and she couldn't offer me the relationship I was wanting, so she ended it.
Isabella82 Posted July 10, 2007 Posted July 10, 2007 My last relationship ended for no reason. Never had closure as to why. Just out of the blue, the flick of a light switch after a night of him talking about me being his future wife, and us having sex... The next day after 2 years he told me he needed to find himself and never called me ever again. I thought the relationship was great and we got along well.
taiko Posted July 10, 2007 Posted July 10, 2007 She would rather play blackjack or slot machines then spend time with me. And with casinos popping up faster then strip clubs there was no relief no matter where we went. Even after a well off relative paid off her $250,000 debt she started again
I love hot men. Posted July 10, 2007 Posted July 10, 2007 My last relationship was a 25-year marriage that ended in divorce. I was not all that good a husband, less attentive than I should have been and we grew apart. She was/is also narcissistic and wasn't getting the attention and adoration from me she craved. I felt she was stuck in her youth and hadn't advanced. She felt I was an indifferent provider and she could do better. She found a boyfriend and left. I divorced her. End of story! That's very mature of you to admit you were the one at fault.
I love hot men. Posted July 10, 2007 Posted July 10, 2007 I was in love with him, and he with me, but he wanted me to move in/get engaged and I knew I would not be happy with his teenaged kids around for 6 months of the year. I love kids, however, they were very disrespectful and rude because he spoiled them and let them walk all over him. For example, one day when I was there, his 13-year-old daughter was screaming and yelling at him because she wanted him to drop his yardwork immediately to fix an issue on her computer. An hour later he was chauffering her and her friend to the mall. This was very typical of every time his kids were there. The kids had absolutely no consequences and were the rudest kids I have ever met in my life. They were given basic household chores to do, but never did them, yet were still rewarded on demand with whatever they wanted. If Jennifer needed the newest style of jeans, she got them the next day from her dad. If Michael needed a new skateboard, he got it, didn't matter if he threw a temper tantrum and didn't rake the yard as was his chore for the week. I knew I couldn't be happy in a household where my SO was not being a responsible dad, and frankly couldn't be happy coming home from work with all the yelling and screaming. So...I broke up with him because I felt that he wasn't willing to become a good father and I didn't want to be, in a way, supporting what his kids were turning into....losers.
D&L Posted July 12, 2007 Posted July 12, 2007 (sigh) My last relationship ended because supposedly I was not being truthful with him. He thought I was going to cheat on hi with one of his friends because me and his friends are so close, but I've known them even longer than I have known him and I've known them fro a long while now. Maybe he was just insecure but yea.. that ended. I miss him terribly though
mental_traveller Posted July 15, 2007 Posted July 15, 2007 She would rather play blackjack or slot machines then spend time with me. And with casinos popping up faster then strip clubs there was no relief no matter where we went. Even after a well off relative paid off her $250,000 debt she started again How exactly does one go about borrowing 1/4 million to gamble on slots & blackjack?
halfarock Posted July 15, 2007 Posted July 15, 2007 Why did your last relationship end? It didn’t, not really, they never do. Last night I attended a birthday party for a friend of mine and a woman from my past was in attendance. We sat and talked. Yes, we’ve moved on but feelings linger. Being as we just sort of drifted apart, having never fought, it was, for a few moments, as if we were still together, and we were.
taiko Posted July 16, 2007 Posted July 16, 2007 How exactly does one go about borrowing 1/4 million to gamble on slots & blackjack? 3 sources. 1 She was a dancer, got a loan from a PL who hoped he could get her out of the club. 2. Refinace on the home. 3. Cash Advances on the credit cards when ATM limits were hit. The biggest source which she aways thought of as a loan was the PL, or Asian Suit as they were called in her club.
Chinook Posted July 16, 2007 Posted July 16, 2007 ...because he ended it. I'm still not entirely sure why and seeing as he's in ignore mode and I'm in complete NC, I'm unlikely to find out anytime soon. It doesn't really matter now though, fact is...it did end. {shrug}
halfarock Posted July 16, 2007 Posted July 16, 2007 How exactly does one go about borrowing 1/4 million to gamble on slots & blackjack? 3 sources. 1 She was a dancer, got a loan from a PL who hoped he could get her out of the club. 2. Refinace on the home. 3. Cash Advances on the credit cards when ATM limits were hit. The biggest source which she aways thought of as a loan was the PL, or Asian Suit as they were called in her club. What is a PL? I once dated a woman who racked up well over $100,000 in debt gambling. She did it by getting credit cards. That was when a bank would offer free interest for a year if you would switch to their card. She was getting credit cards to cover credit cards. She had dozens of cards.
taiko Posted July 16, 2007 Posted July 16, 2007 What is a PL? I once dated a woman who racked up well over $100,000 in debt gambling. She did it by getting credit cards. That was when a bank would offer free interest for a year if you would switch to their card. She was getting credit cards to cover credit cards. She had dozens of cards. Sorry dropped into club slang. Once upon a time , the story goes, a dancer yelled at a customer who kept complaining that she would not provide enough sexual service that he was a pathetic loser. The name stuck . In the online world and in the clubs a PL is a hard core customer. For many the clubs are their principal pastime and social networking place. A "suit" is a guy who spends lots of money but puts no sexual demands upon the girls in the club but often try very hard to date outside of the club. Asian comes in because many are businessmen from Asian who treat the girls like geisha in a way.
blind_otter Posted July 16, 2007 Posted July 16, 2007 Ah memories. My last relationship before my current one ended about 2 years ago. I had a long distance relationship with a man who lived in Scotland. THe affair is documented online in the thread "Hello, my name is Otter and I'm insecurrrrr......". He proposed to me in Amsterdam and I agreed. I blame the drugs. Or my own stupidity. He moved to the states to be with me and it all went terribly wrong. Plus I had secretly developed a nasty cocaine habit. We parted ways. Sad story.
Aliddy Posted July 16, 2007 Posted July 16, 2007 We were together for 3.5 years, I simply adored him. It was a LDR, but we saw each other every w/e and holidays etc. etc. It seemed every time we had a disagreement, he would just walk out, and never try to resolve anything. So every time, I would be the one saying sorry, lets make it up etc. etc. Well, I took him to the Maldives, he was moody the whole time we were there.............so when we got home, I said this cant continue, I don't know if I feel the same anymore....as I dont feel loved by you, as usual he walked out...... A week later, I texted.....he ignored me ....I then emailed.....he ignored me.....I then wrote a letter from my heart ......he said " its to late " ( this was a week after we fell out !!! ) So I said " this is making me ill, I can't and wont let you treat me like this....so I wont contact you again" he said THANKYOU !!!! So it is obvious to me, my instincts were right ...... he didn't love me, but didn,t have the courage to tell me A month later.................and I am doing o.k.
Savannah1 Posted July 16, 2007 Posted July 16, 2007 I was his girlfriend for four years then found out he had a girlfriend for six years... Not a good ending. Savannah1
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