what do you guys think?

[qunett]

Yeah I am sticking to NC myself but it is killing me as well. I just dont want to call him, text him, or anything. Today is day 7. I want him back so bad. But that is just too bad. He is not coming back. I just have to deal with it. Even if he did....it would not work. Not now. We both know that

 

Hang in there. Last night I was speaking to an old friend and once again lamenting about "what was" and she probed for more info on what happened in the relationship - why we called off the wedding. As I related stuff to her, the idealized version of my ex that I've been longing for - you know, all those GREAT traits that I miss so much and the affection I got from him - started to lose its luster. I think actually saying OUT LOUD all the stuff that got in the way of us getting married was a good thing. I had a nice talk with the Lord about it last night and feel pretty good today.

 

The reality is if things were so great, we'd be married right now. But they weren't. He's a wonderful guy but on both sides there were deal breakers that, if we had gotten married, would have caused each of us a lot of misery. There's someone out there who better suits him and someone out there that better suits me. I've been beating myself up with this notion that there isn't someone as good as him. I'm changing my thinking and have great faith that not only is there someone as good - but someone even better! I have a pretty strong faith in God and I know He can perform miracles, so I'm just gonna wait to see what He's gonna do in this area of my life. I have a renewed excitement and expectancy about the whole thing.

 

Plus, I actually really LOVE being single (on my side of the breakup were issues with intimacy and anxiety over really, really sharing my life and personal space with someone after being single for so long). I enjoy doing what I want, when I want, where I want - spending my own money, not cleaning up after someone else or having to compromise about stuff. There are great BENEFITS to being single. So, I'm gonna bask in those for the time being till the RIGHT one comes along - one who "gets me" and all my idiosyncracies and finds them, to a large degree, more endearing than irritating, and me the same with him (of course, there are gonna be those things that just really get on your nerves about your partner, but I think it's a relationship worth fighting for if the good stuff outweighs the bad. With me and my ex, there were a lot of great things, but the stuff that bothered each of us were pretty big things that in the final analysis, eclipsed the good stuff).

 

Would I still have a breakdown right now if I found out he's met someone else? Probably, but I know that on the other side of the hurt is something marvelous - whether continued singleness or an amazing relationship I BELIEVE can happen. Either way, it's all gonna be good.

 

I pray the best for you and your journey towards healing...

[9Lives]

 

The reality is if things were so great, we'd be married right now. But they weren't. He's a wonderful guy but on both sides there were deal breakers that, if we had gotten married, would have caused each of us a lot of misery. There's someone out there who better suits him and someone out there that better suits me. I've been beating myself up with this notion that there isn't someone as good as him. I'm changing my thinking and have great faith that not only is there someone as good - but someone even better! I have a pretty strong faith in God and I know He can perform miracles, so I'm just gonna wait to see what He's gonna do in this area of my life. I have a renewed excitement and expectancy about the whole thing.

 

Plus, I actually really LOVE being single (on my side of the breakup were issues with intimacy and anxiety over really, really sharing my life and personal space with someone after being single for so long). I enjoy doing what I want, when I want, where I want - spending my own money, not cleaning up after someone else or having to compromise about stuff. There are great BENEFITS to being single. So, I'm gonna bask in those for the time being till the RIGHT one comes along - one who "gets me" and all my idiosyncracies and finds them, to a large degree, more endearing than irritating, and me the same with him (of course, there are gonna be those things that just really get on your nerves about your partner, but I think it's a relationship worth fighting for if the good stuff outweighs the bad. With me and my ex, there were a lot of great things, but the stuff that bothered each of us were pretty big things that in the final analysis, eclipsed the good stuff).

 

Would I still have a breakdown right now if I found out he's met someone else? Probably, but I know that on the other side of the hurt is something marvelous - whether continued singleness or an amazing relationship I BELIEVE can happen. Either way, it's all gonna be good.

 

I pray the best for you and your journey towards healing...

 

This was a good post. Being single was not that bad for a while. It was not until I met him that I started to feel different. Im working on being better. I just cant stop missing him. I thought he was so sweet and perfect for me. There were some things I did not like of course but I love him like crazy. But I will not contact him or anything. I'm not at my best and I feel like I will feel worse after I communicate with him. Plus he has not tried to contact me so I feel like he dont want to be with me anymore. I could be wrong but Im not ready to find out any different. Just too much.