new_stella Posted June 30, 2007 Posted June 30, 2007 I’d like to ask a question people who feel that fantasies are just fantasies. If those fantasies included blood, bestiality, incest, something that makes you sick, would you still have the same approach? If your SO looked at some sickening porn (whatever you consider to be sickening) would you still dismiss that as ‘just fantasies’?
Tranzphasic0 Posted June 30, 2007 Posted June 30, 2007 I’d like to ask a question people who feel that fantasies are just fantasies. If those fantasies included blood, bestiality, incest, something that makes you sick, would you still have the same approach? If your SO looked at some sickening porn (whatever you consider to be sickening) would you still dismiss that as ‘just fantasies’? nothing really makes me sick..i think we have almost all fantasized about those things mentioned if not acted on them
Author new_stella Posted June 30, 2007 Author Posted June 30, 2007 Really? I’m a bit on the kinky side and I think I can at least understand a lot, but there are still things that can make me sick. Knives and blood being one of them. Are you seriously saying that nothing can make you say ‘eek’?
Dumbledore Posted June 30, 2007 Posted June 30, 2007 I absolutely refuse to have anything to do with carrots. Especially the forked ones.
Tranzphasic0 Posted June 30, 2007 Posted June 30, 2007 Really? I’m a bit on the kinky side and I think I can at least understand a lot, but there are still things that can make me sick. Knives and blood being one of them. Are you seriously saying that nothing can make you say ‘eek’? idk..i was trying to think about the question and none of those things made me sick..and i cant think of much else that does. except people who molesting. so the question for me would be if someone just fantasizes about molesting babies and small children (but they don't do it) is that ok...and the answer is i dont know. i guess they can think it but i would rather not know about it. they can keep it to themself.
Poboy Posted June 30, 2007 Posted June 30, 2007 I’d like to ask a question people who feel that fantasies are just fantasies. If those fantasies included blood, bestiality, incest, something that makes you sick, would you still have the same approach? If your SO looked at some sickening porn (whatever you consider to be sickening) would you still dismiss that as ‘just fantasies’? as long as it is left to just viewing pleasures and not tried in real life ( if the other partner is not into it ) , its alright. but if you are sick of this habit of your So and cant stand it , you cant go on obviouslly as it will affect the relationship. i am a big fan of slasher movies / death metal music but that doesnt mean i go around killing people. if they are mature enough to realise the difference between art / fantasy and real life , its ok. but if you see some odd tendency in your So which is like incorporating into real life , thats when you have a problem.
Anka Posted June 30, 2007 Posted June 30, 2007 Ummmmmm Not everyone has fantasized about beastiailty. Speak for yourself there buddy I sort of look at that just like I would any thing else that makes me and my partner compatable. I can deal with porn. The gross guy porn, you know, the sort of sex that woman really dont like but act like it in the porn? Im okay with that. SC? Safe to say Im cool with that to. But if he was into incest and animals, forget it. To me, that is not even normal. I just dont think its healthy to fantasize about your family or your pet. And fantasizing about children and babies? Ughhhhhhh. I would get rid of him in a heartbeat. I have kids and even a man thinking about it is enough to make me want to castrate him.
LucreziaBorgia Posted June 30, 2007 Posted June 30, 2007 I’d like to ask a question people who feel that fantasies are just fantasies. 1. If those fantasies included blood, bestiality, incest, something that makes you sick, would you still have the same approach? 2. If your SO looked at some sickening porn (whatever you consider to be sickening) would you still dismiss that as ‘just fantasies’? 1. You'd be astonished at what depths the human mind is capable of going into. People do fantasize (or at least find themselves thinking about or contemplating without actually wanting to do any of that stuff) - this type of horrifying stuff can find itself sneaking into dreams, flitting across the brain in random thoughts, etc - without a person making an effort to think about it. There would not be such things in the world had not the power of the human mind brought it into fruition. There are things that make me sick - particuarly pedophilia and incest but I have the understanding that human beings are curious, and while a given person would never have sex with an animal, or butcher and have sex with a dead body, or have sex with a child - there is some dark part of the mind that finds itself curious in the same way that a person might find themselves curious and staring at the aftermath of a horrifying car accident. I can understand it, even if I may not accept it. 2. Some people take it as far as living vicariously what they will never have the inclination to do in reality. I may not like that, but I understand where it comes from. I would be uncomfortable, disgusted and such but it would not change the fact that I firmly understand what the nature of fantasizing is - a basic curiosity that sometimes goes into some of the darkest and most terrifying parts of the mind. Now, that said - if I was with someone who I found out was into kiddie porn, or bestiality or something like that not out of curiosity, but who made an effort to collect, view and masturbate to said porn on a daily basis I would leave them. You can accept that a person fantasizes, but you don't have to like what they fantasize about and you surely don't have to accept it or try to change that person. If someone is into this type of stuff, and you aren't the best thing you can do is walk away. That goes for any level of it really - even if you are the type who can't handle Playboy under the bed, or vanilla porn. If you can't handle the fact that your partner fantasizes (and understand that the percentage who doesn't is very near to zero), then you need to find someone who hides the fact a little better so that you can feel more comfortable in the relationship.
Author new_stella Posted June 30, 2007 Author Posted June 30, 2007 This wasn’t meant to be a personal question; I just wanted to hear opinions on fantasies. My H doesn’t look at anything that I find sick. My own fantasies are, in fact, a lot ‘wilder’ (not extreme though) – but I either have already tried or would love to act out most of my fantasies. So, I personally, don’t deny fantasies, but I believe they translate to wishes – wishes that you may decide not to pursue for various reasons (inhibitions, fear, religion, social norms…). Also, I’m sure there are some people who wouldn’t be able to understand my fantasies. Most people, on the other hand, believe that fantasies are just fantasies and have no connection to reality. I’m trying to establish if people can accept anything as their SO’s fantasies, or it has to fit into the range they themselves feel ‘comfortable’ with. Just wanted to clarify if they would still think the same if a fantasy in question was something unacceptable to them.
annieo Posted June 30, 2007 Posted June 30, 2007 I think that most (maybe all) people have thought about things, gotten turned on and probably masturbated thinking about things, that in less sexually charged moments they find personally disgusting or wrong. I have. It is a little unsettling, but the I think the truth is there is something very horny- making about the forbidden. As soon as a thought/image becomes "bad" or off limits, it also becomes incredibly magnetic. Within certain parameters, though. For example, as a mother, anything having to do with children (small, pre-pubescent children) strikes me as a repugnant and potentially dangerous. Not a road you should go down, even in your head. But otherwise, I think most fantasies are just waking dreams and they don't hurt anyone. Most healthy people have no desire to act out anything criminal.
mental_traveller Posted July 2, 2007 Posted July 2, 2007 If someone was into kiddie porn then that would put me right off, but apart from that I don't really mind what they are into.
Lizzie60 Posted July 2, 2007 Posted July 2, 2007 we have absolutely no control over what turn us on, what we fantasize about... Infantilism is a turn-on for some people... it's not for me... Some guys like to role play, being called 'daddy' but they would never ever act on that...they don't even are turned on by their own daughters, it's just the 'kinky' thing about this that turns them on. Rape is another fantasy..but men would never act on it... I can go on and on... I remember my first ex used to fantasize about me having sex with his hunting dogs... but he knew this had to 'stay' a fantasy... it's not for me... But I believe that since we don't really have a control over our 'what some people would call sick' fantasies... it is quite normal as long as we don't act on them. No big deal... but in most cases, I would prefer not to know... I don't mind sharing some of my fantasies... but I keep my most 'sickiest' for myself... LOL
Tranzphasic0 Posted July 3, 2007 Posted July 3, 2007 ok i did not get the question..i would not be with somone that had infanticide at all, i meant i dont think they should be punished for it. and the other things dont bother me.
Lizzie60 Posted July 3, 2007 Posted July 3, 2007 ok i did not get the question..i would not be with somone that had infanticide at all, i meant i dont think they should be punished for it. and the other things dont bother me. I don't date or sleep with murderers... you probably meant infantilism...not infanticide... hahaha
Tranzphasic0 Posted July 3, 2007 Posted July 3, 2007 I don't date or sleep with murderers... you probably meant infantilism...not infanticide... hahaha i did in fact i was just watching the thing about the woman that microwaved the baby on tv while i wrote that, thats why. that was so sad
roxy_1980 Posted July 5, 2007 Posted July 5, 2007 Honestly, I'd have some trouble with someone who had fantasies about sex with someone without the other party's consent. That includes child porn, bestality, necrophilia and incestuous activity. But, other than that, to each his own I guess. But they won't have to understand that I would participate in some activities with them in reall life (blood letting, axphexia, etc). I don't know how I'd react if faced with a partner who were fanatasizing about say child porn. I think that it would change the relationship and trust, but love is a funnny thing. I'd probably feel differently about a future that involved children with them.
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