I really like him, do I wait?

[Melisande]

Hiya folk,

 

I've been lurking on here for a while, and now I have a problem/dilemma to share with you good people!

 

I broke up with my ex-boyfriend a couple of months ago (been together for 4 years, living together for 3, mutual and amicable break-up). I had become a sexually frustrated depressed, passive aggressive doormat for too long, and moving out was a relief, though I was devastated and couldn't imagine being attracted to another guy for a long long time.

 

Well, now I met this guy, who's the new roommate of a friend of mine, and I really really like him, he's handsome and funny and intelligent etc etc, and I just really like him.

 

We don't know each other very well yet, but we've been flirting a lot and I had my hopes up, when my friend told me that there was a girl back in australia (where's he's from) that he really like, that she was coming over in august and he wanted to see how things would go with her. He admitted to being attracted to me, but that he didn't want to get involved in anything right now because of this girl.

 

In spite of that, last saturday we went for a drink with 2 other friends, we all ended at his and his flatmate's place where this guy and I ended up flirting pretty heavily. We eventually kissed and he took me to his bedroom where we both decided that it wasn't a good idea.

 

The next day, he explained to me that though he enjoyed it very much, he shouldn't have done that and he hoped things wouldn't be awkward between us.

 

Now, well, I still really like him, and I think about him all the time. I don't even now what the story with that girl is: is she moving here or is she coming for a holiday? (i think it's the latter but I don't know for definite) Does it mean he wants a long-distance relationship with her? I mean, he almost slept with me that's not a great start is it?

 

So I guess my question is: should I wait it out and see what happens? My problem with that is that I don't want to be anybody's consolation prize and that I deserve someone who really wants me, without any doubts or reluctance. Am I being unreasonable?

 

The other thing is that I am very rarely that attracted to people and that if I give up on him, it could be a very very long time until I like someone again. I know that I've got time and I don't need to rush into anything, but, well, I guess the sexual frustration is taking its toll as well.

 

Thanks for helping me clarify the whole situation

xx

[Poboy]

i dont think you should wait for this guy . he already has some woman in his mind and considering all that happened between you two , he doesnt want to get involved with you. so better to move on .

you never know , in the future it may be possible but not now.

[Melisande]

Gaah! ok, you're right. I'm also worried that I'm repeating a pattern of pursuing someone who's emotionally unavailable to me (like my ex...), because that's what I'm used to. Not very healthy...