Does anti-depressants work?

[London Girl]

I am finding it really difficult to get over my ex and have resisted anti-depressants (Prozac) for the last 3 months but I am not feeling any better and am now contemplating taking the anti-depressants.

 

I feel so helpless - I cannot believe my ex could make me feel so unhappy, crush my self esteem and desperate. I lost our baby due to an ectopic pregnancy in March and we have not been in touch for nearly four months. I found out recently he is on dating sites and I think he is seeing someone now. I'm finding it so difficult that he can move on so quickly whilst I'm still grieving.

 

I've been diagnosed as clinically depressed and am seeing a therapist and strongly recommended to take anti-depressants but I feel reluctant to as I'm worried about becoming dependant on them and the side effects. I feel so down - will this get any better?

[funkybassplayer]

HI im so sorry to hear that. i am in a similar situation, my ex had 3 kids that i got very attached to, and she moved from me to another guy in the space of a week, and i was not allowed contact, and i cant talk to the kids that i miss. Its been two months and slowley im coming to terms with it, by posting here etc. Its one of the hardest things when you cant talk to someone you love and even if you do, it will just make you feel worse. I really dont think prozac is a good thing, as lets face it, your emotions are being surpressed, and they really do need to come out and take there course. Thats what i think. I hope you start to feel better but remember, there are many on here feeling a loss of someone that we love, and your not slone in your emotions.

[Tony T]

There are two kinds of depression, clinical depression (which the antidepressants are designed to help with) and reactive depression (the down feelings we have when something bad happens to us.) Antidepressants don't do much of a job for reactive depression. If there was a pill we could take everytime we felt down, WOW!

 

Go see a psychiatrist and find out if you may have clinical depression which may have been made worse by this breakup. If there was a pill that would take away the pain and hurt of breakup or divorce, it would be a best seller. I'm truly sorry that you're going through this but we ALL do at one time or another. Talking things over with a trusted friend or professional may go a long way to improving your outlook on life right now.

[KittenMoon]

Go see a psychiatrist and find out if you may have clinical depression which may have been made worse by this breakup.

 

Good call. I resisted seeing a doctor for months and months after my breakup, mostly because I couldn't admit that I've been mildy depressed pretty much since puberty. I'm currently taking an anti-d, and I've recently begun taking an specific omega-3 supplement called Omegabrite on the advice of my psychiatrist and it seems to be helping as well. In only mention it because it's a non-prescription supplement that can help with mood.

 

That being said, 3 months is not a long time to be morning both a relationship and a miscarriage. Maybe you should look into seeing a therapist to help you cope before you look into medicine.

[London Girl]

thanks for your replies. I am seeing a psychiatrist at the moment and he is the one who diagnosed me as clinically depressed. Back in March I was feeling so low I had suicidal thoughts. Since then with the help of friends and seeing a therapist has helped but I seem to have gone back to how I was feeling in March.

 

I miss my ex terribly and wish I could get him out of my system. I am trying so hard to move on and have been in no contact with him for just over 3 months. I suspect he is seeing someone now and I know he is planning to go away on holiday to see his friend at Christmas - I find it difficult to comprehend that he can move on so quickly as if nothing has happened.

 

When I lost the baby we were both upset - he was really supportive and I could hear him telling friends on the phone that he wants to get back together with me but the following week he tells me he cannot see us having a future and I have not seen or heard from him since.

 

I so feel so lost and just cannot stop crying.

[Krytellan]

I so feel so lost and just cannot stop crying.

 

If you're resistant to taking anti-depressants, there is another "ingredient" you might want to try. It's called 5-HTP and you can find it at any drug store or GNC type place. It's a natural supplement that gets transformed into serotonin (the chemical which is lacking in depression) in the brain. I have tried it and it is useful in "balancing" your mood. It's not a miracle drug or anything, but it is a less intrusive alternative to prescription medications, and no side effects.

[funkybassplayer]

London girl, the fact that you know he's going away etc, is the thing that has brought you back down again. If your in no contact then you should'nt know anything about what hes doing at all, as this will bring you down as much as anything else, even if your not chatting to him.

[sb129]

LondonGirl, I agree with FBP, you shouldn't be contacting your ex, as that is not conducive to healing and getting over him.

 

I have been clinically depressed, and it took a series of events over about five or six years for it to all culminate in a minor nervous breakdown about eighteen months ago.

 

I ended up taking prozac along with getting counselling, and I can honestly say that for me, it was one of the best things i have ever dome for myself.

 

The way my GP explained it to me was that if a glass is nearly full of water, and drips keep dripping into it, eventually it will over flow, and as long as drips keep dripping into it, it will be very hard to get it half empty again.

 

When you are stressed, you produce stress hormones, and the more stress hormones you produce, the more receptors for the stress hormones on your brain cells you need to deal with these hormones. These often multiply to cope with the level of stress hormones, and that means that the receptors for the FEEL GOOD hormones decrease in number.

 

This is a very simplistic way of describing depression. You actually have fewer receptors for feelgood hormones, and it is a vicious cycle.

 

Antidepressants help to restore the balance of both stress and feelgood hormones, and help restore the balance of receptors to equal levels, so your brain is better equipped to deal with both kinds of hormone.

 

For me, taking prozac helped me lift myself out of the fog of negative thoughts and endless days of tears and despair.

 

They DIDN'T suddenly make everything rosy, I had to do that myself, but they helped me be more rational, and that meant that the counselling I had was more effective.

 

I didn't become dependent on them, and I took them for six months, then a further three to wean myself off them, because thats what is recommended.

 

I can honestly say it really really helped me. I had to look at myself, and make a few changes to my life, and acknowledge a few home truths, but the prozac helped me achieve a bit more clarity and perspective to do that.

[triplem]

I went through a breakup starting about 9 months ago. It left me debilitated for several months and during that time I found myself resisting anti depressants. I felt, quite simply, that it was normal and "healthy" to be sad after a breakup.

 

Over time, I gradually began to feel better. I still had a lot of sad time, I still had a heavy weight on my chest much of the day, but it was less and less. I also started being less harsh on myself.

 

Then, about a month ago I started feeling the panic and anxiety of the first weeks return. I spent a weekend with my family in which I was barely able to interact with them. I was having difficulty sleeping and eating.

 

I decided it was time to try anti-depressants. I went to my doc and he prescribed me lexapro.

 

Let me first say that while such anti-depressants may be much improved, they are not the "no big deal" drugs they are chalked up to be. For the first couple of weeks the side effects felt worse, at times, than the problems I was trying to fix. I couldn't think clearly. My body was filled with a constant tingling so that all I wanted to do was lay down, but laying down made me feel as though my mind would explode with a million incomplete thoughts. My appetite went up and down wildly. I had upset stomachs and gagging.

 

Not everybody has the same reactions, but those were mine. Two weeks later I am adjusting well. I am feeling much better. And, I must say, I am thinking about my ex less often, which is healthy. I think devoting a certain amount of thought to an ex and the old relationship is a valuable learning experience. I am well past the point of learning and so the less I think of her the better.

 

I have not found myself in the cycles of negative thought I was suffering. I don't feel completely normal or my old self, but I feel like the valleys are less low. My thoughts are less weighed with emotion and are more rational. Still having problems, still having bad days, but feeling better.

 

It is too early to say if this will be sustained and, in the long term, good for my healing. It takes some time for these drugs to really take full effect so while I can't yet give the medication a ringing endorsement, I can't dismiss it either.

 

One piece of advice I would offer anyone starting these meds is to MOVE! Exercise. I had been slacking off on exercising as of late. Because of my inability to focus or stay still for the first days I strapped on some running shoes and went for a jog. It was the ONLY way to escape the physical effects. Running was so simple that even in my scattered state of mind it gave me a temporary sense of focus. It was something I could keep in my mind for 20 to 40 minutes. Just the sense of calm that brought was huge. Running also relieved the physical symptoms, even if only for the duration of the run. The tingling left, my limbs felt as though they were attached to my body again. My body felt as it always has during exercise. The relief didn't last for long after the exercise, but just feeling sane for 20 to 40 minutes a day was enough to make the day tolerable.

 

Many people complain about severe weight gain while on these meds. I, on the other hand, have actually dropped a couple of extra pounds I was carrying. Two weeks later I haven't missed a run and I know I am healthier. My six pack is starting to show making me confident enough to shed my shirt during my runs.

[sb129]

I agree, they definitely aren't the "no big deal" drug, and you do need to help yourself in other ways, such as counselling, diet and exercise so that they an have the best potential for helping you.

Getting into good habits now will help for when you come off the meds too, I have found that maintaining exercise helps alot with staving off depression now that I am not taking any meds.

 

I also felt dreadful for the first two weeks, but the GP warned me of that.

I felt detached, nervous, I lost my appetite.

When I was on prozac too, all I wanted to do was sleep all the time, and I totally lost interest in sex. Not necessarily a bad thing tho.

 

Exercise is often prescribed for depression- and it really does help.

 

I lost weight initially, but when I got happy again, I gained it!

Small price to pay for being happy and content though.

[quankanne]

sounds like you've had a lot of stress in a short period of time, and you're body is crying for relief. Talk with your therapist about lifestyle changes to go with an anti-depression regimen: moderate exercise, healthier eating habits, cutting back on alcohol and recreational drugs if you imbibe either, and be sure to get with your regular doctor so that he or she knows that you're on prescription anti-depressants so he can monitor your health, too.

 

have been on them the past couple of years, pretty much a similar whallop of stress to yours, and while I still take them, I'm at a point where I'm back to a good spot, in terms of blood chemistry. Though I do notice there are periods of helplessness and despondency (rare ones) from time to time when the stress gets really bad, so I waver between should I get off them or stay on them. However, depression runs in my family, as does chronic illness (diabetes), so that just contributes to my overall mental health needs.

 

check out this site to give you a better understanding about how your blood chemistry works, and how finely balanced it must be for you to be at your best, emotionally, psychologically and physically: www.mental-health-matters.com/articles/article.php?artID=160

 

also be aware that medicine isn't always a perfect fit the first time: I was lucky that I responded immediately to Wellbutrin, but my poor sister is having a hard time finding an antidepressant that her body can successfully respond to, and that just contributes to her mental stress. But she hasn't stopped seeking treatment, and nor should you if you're not at first successful. With all the meds they've got out there, most likely the doc will hit on a good combo for you.

[JerryG]

I remember reading something yesterday about how increased exercise and physical activity can also help to reduce depression. While I certainly don't think it'd be a full "cure" you might want to consider joining a gym, playing a favourite outdoor sport, or taking nice long walks in the evening.

 

Good luck!