possumgirl83 Posted June 29, 2007 Posted June 29, 2007 a little backeground *my "fiancee" is in the navy and currently underway *i found a profile of his on a dating site... yet he had not contacted anyone nor had he been contacted *our wedding is august 11, 07 *that means its in 44 days yesterday i recieved a email from him basically telling me he wants to cancel the wedding! yeah we've had our little problems, and our big problems but nothing that would cause him to call off the wedding no explanation nothing, if anything i should be the one to call it off.... anyways in the email he also said he wanted to work things out and still be together.... work what out? what could be going throught his itty bitty mind that would make him think i would stay with him after this? i had already decided the site wasnt a huge deal and i love him and i wanted to marry him... and now this im heart broken and confussed, i dont understand why he would do this now?
Tony T Posted June 29, 2007 Posted June 29, 2007 There may be little comfort for you in what I have to say here. However, it is far better that the wedding is canceled before it happens than for you to have to endure the heartbreak of a divorce later on...perhaps even after you have had a child or two. There are a lot of danger signs around this relationship. Love has nothing to do with the sustainability of a marriage. If there isn't trust and a who lot more, it's dead before it has started. I don't think I would be so quick to overlook the fact that he put up a profile on an Internet dating site while he has been engaged to you. To me, that's grounds for moving on. He's done you a favor. Of course, there is pain nevertheless in the loss of what might have been...had it been right. You will realize in time that what has happened is a positive thing...not a bad thing at all. Good stuff hurts sometimes.
LN99 Posted June 29, 2007 Posted June 29, 2007 It is better that he cancelled things before actually going through with the marriage to you. I know though that this must be a hard time for you. I have a friend whose husband is in the marines. They just had a baby together last yr and they got married in Feb of this yr. She lives here and he is stationed in another state for a few more months. She just found out that he has a fiancee...(YES, a fiancee)...in the state he is stationed in. She found this out from myspace. There are pics of him and this girl together and everything. And here he is writing his wife (my friend) about how much he loves and misses her. Point is, be glad you found out things now. It could have been a lot worse.
Author possumgirl83 Posted July 3, 2007 Author Posted July 3, 2007 well i just found out why he called it off, ready for this... he isnt divorced yet!!!! i had no clue, never in my wildest dreams would i have thought this was the reason. hell i went to texas to meet his entire family including his 6 yr old son! i even met his ex wife/wife! his entire family knew he wasnt divorced yet!!!! apparently she just wont sign one of the papers, hes been asking her to for almost 2 yrs now and she just wont do it even though she says she will. she dates other guys and i met her so she knows about me. obviously i think she wants him back. but if she wanted him then why ask for a divorce? i actually feel bad for her i dont know why but i do, and i feel really bad for him, i honestly think he thought she would sign this time. so why didnt he tell me before? i wouldnt have had a problem with it, he went along with the wedding planning knowing this. im so heart broken
JulieJ Posted July 3, 2007 Posted July 3, 2007 Wow, that is crazy. It's a little suspicious that he didn't tell you his divorce wasn't final yet. Has he given you any reasons for why he wasn't up front about it? Maybe it makes you feel a little better to know that the reason for calling of the wedding has nothing to do with you or your relationship though. I guess you just have to wait until he gets back from this deployment so you can talk to him.
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