brokeninside Posted June 29, 2007 Posted June 29, 2007 Im feeling like I need to write this down so please bare with me, and if you can give me some advice it would be a welcome bonus. My Ex broke up with me 4 months ago. She said I pushed her feelings away, that kind of bull****. I cried and wallowed over her for over a month. We kept in touch a lot, but she wouldnt contact me on weekends when it was her time to party it out with the girlfriends. Hurt like hell but ok i dealt with it. The second month she started contacting me more often. I told her Im going away on a trip to the middle east for 5 weeks, she seemed to call me more. We went out to the movies and then the day I was leaving she came over to my place. We made out for about an hour. No sex, she wouldnt let me have her. Keep in mind the previous month there were scenes such as me cryuing and begging over the phoen and her telling me to **** off and hanging up, switching it off. I would scream in my car and do road rage out of the frustration. Scream at the top of my lungs with the windows up so no one could hear me. When I was leaving she told me she would miss me. Fast forward a week to when Im in the middle east. We are chatting online. After she sends me an email saying 'if u think that just ebcause we are talking then for sure we are going to get back together or sleep together again then i really dont know what to tell you. I dont want you to keep your hopes up'. I said fine. I picked a girl up brought her home and had sex. The sex was really amazing. She was younger and prettier then my ex, far more exotic and skin much softer. I loved it. I had sex with that girl a total of four times as she was pretty young (im 22) and was muslim, so it couldng get out. It helped me take my mind off my ex. I still felt empty inside thought. I missed her so much. So much. I met another girl there also. This is where the 'continuation of the sage begins'. Fast forward a month later. Im back here in north america. My ex is herself now in the middle east for vacation. We chat online and exchange emails. Me pouring my heart out telling her I lvoe her come back to me Im a different man ( I am, working out a lot, dropped smoking, high income salary finished school, and really tanned) and she tells me she doesnt know what to tell me now, so she wont say anything now. She says we'll take it from when she gets back. We decide to be friends on facebook. she puts me on limited profile i keep mine on unlimited. I had some stuff on my wall abt a girl telling me she wants to come over to my house and have sex with me. I ignored it cause I get that from girls a lot. She sees it and freaks out on me. Comes online on msn and starts insulting me, calling me a liar, a cheat, and writing **** U **** U **** U etc. shes 20. she acted like a 15 yr old that her dad refused to buy candy. I was intotal shock, trying to calm her down. It was just like the old days when we were togehter and she couldnt take the fact taht girls hit on me everywhere i went. The way I met this girl, my ex, is that i was in church on easter and she came up running up to me. I told her no as I was dating two other girls already and I thought I wouldnt be able to keep up. I called her a couple of months later as I broke up with both girls and wanted something new and fun. Her number was in my cell and I called her. We hit it off. That was 3 years ago. Since then I loved her with all my heart. No more playing. Cooking dinners for her. Making love not just plain sex. I thought she was the girl I was going to marry. What should I make of this? She blocked me on facebook last night and hasnt contacted me since. It frustrates me as she is in the middle east and i dont have a phone number to reach her with. We ended the conversation on civil terms, and then when she got up in the morning blocked me. Maybe she was embarassed abt what she wrote on my wall? The lost her cool and insulted the girl. Please any comments would be much appreciated. Im sorry for the length. I dont know what to think of this anymore. Its been 4 months and I stll lvoe her. The sex with the other girls didnt do me any good. Im still thinking about her 24/7 and when I wake up and shes not there I grab a cigarette and think how ****ty life is.
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