PLAYERS: the ONE girl you COULDN'T play...

[SouthernT]

To all the so-called "players" out there....Was there ever a girl that, no matter how much "game" you had, you just couldnt play her? Was she too smart for the "game"...did you just end up falling for her?......did you start to feel bad because she turned out to be a good girl and so you stoped trying to run game and left the situation alone? How long did you keep up the chase? What happened?

[FormerNiceGuy]

You're in the wrong forum, dude. Ha ha. About 2/3 of the population here are women.

 

And most of the questions I see from the men/boys here are really, really basic questions.

 

Questions like, "Does she like me?" or "I've known this girl for three years and she only sees me as a friend. Help?" or "This girl keeps flaking on me, how do I get her to like me?"

 

If you're looking a site with "players"....I'll give you a hint. The forums won't be a pink color.

[IWalkAlone]

Sounds like you're trying to win a player's heart by beating him at his own game.

 

By doing so, you may win for a short time, but once he gets bored he will start playing again behind your back.

 

Better get real and pick guys you don't have to play games with.

[Trialbyfire]

Sounds like you're trying to win a player's heart by beating him at his own game.

 

By doing so, you may win for a short time, but once he gets bored he will start playing again behind your back.

 

Better get real and pick guys you don't have to play games with.

I 100% agree. You're setting yourself up for heartbreak in the future. If you're asking for advice about how to play a player, you don't have the skills to keep him, although why you would want to, defeats me.

 

Players can be short-term fun if that's all you're looking for. From the sounds of all your threads, this isn't even close to what you want.

[LoveLace]

A "Player" is exactly what it sounds...and no one can change that, only they can change that when the time feels right for them to do so. So to play along with them, only makes it more fun for them, 1st of all. Secondly, your trying to play the game because your hoping to win, but you are not going to. They are still a "player" no matter what, so the game will never end and there can't be a winner.

[jenniferlm]

A "Player" is exactly what it sounds...and no one can change that, only they can change that when the time feels right for them to do so. So to play along with them, only makes it more fun for them, 1st of all. Secondly, your trying to play the game because your hoping to win, but you are not going to. They are still a "player" no matter what, so the game will never end and there can't be a winner.

 

 

Right on. But keep in mind that even though a player can change when they feel the time is right, if you already suspect he's a player with you then it's too late.

 

When a player decides not to be a player with someone, he does it before he even starts talking to her. Once the game has begun, it's not going to stop.

 

There may come a point in his future when he tires of the game and stops doing it when he meets women...but probably not...

 

And it's obvious he's already playing the game with you. So unless you are into a quick casual relationship f*ck buddy type of thing, I'd just stop talking to him now.

[FormerNiceGuy]

I'll tell you the truth about players. I say this because practically the circle of friends that I have are all players.

 

Players don't just have ONE girl that they miss out on.

 

They have a lot that they miss out on.

 

But what makes a player a player is that he has no fear of rejection. The player with the most rejections is the player with the most numbers. The player has the magical ability to brush off rejection and because he does this, he has the ability to go for the next girl. He has sex with a lot of women, because he never lets rejection gets in his way.

 

A player doubles or triples his attempts, but he does not lower his standards of women. He goes for all and every girl that he finds beautiful in his eyes and triples his attempts. He is a salesman. He knows how to take the 98 "NOS" AND take the 2 "YES".

 

A man is weak when he wonders and overanalyzes situations.

 

A man is weak when he wonders, "Does she like me?" "Was that a sign that she likes me?"

 

A man is strong when he doesn't give a **** and just goes for it. That's what separates a player from that whining man.

 

A player knows when to stay when the interest is high. And a players knows when to walk out on the lady when the interest isn't high.

 

He's not like the guys here who say, "Oh..this girl flaked on me! HOw do I get her back?!"

 

You got to know when to keep playing or when to move on. There are a million women out there. SO many men here are blind because they don't realize this.

 

A player is not special. He's not superhuman. He is just a MAN that knows how to brush off rejection.

 

Finally, what separates a player from other men is sexuality. Be sexual. Don't hide your sexuality in your attempts to "be nice".

[SouthernT]

Thanks for everybody's responses. I'm not trying to beat him at his own game at all. Because in my mind, I shouldnt have to. Either he's interested in something that's not superficial or he's not. He's known where I stood from day 1. So my question was more around the subject of when a player meets a good girl, does it EVER affect his conscious? Will he walk away himself if he ever really does start to actually like the girl but didnt have intentions on liking her? Like I said, there's no reason for ME to try and beat him at his own game. All I can do is remain consistant in my reply's. Which havent changed since day one.....

[Yamaha]

So my question was more around the subject of when a player meets a good girl, does it EVER affect his conscious? Will he walk away himself if he ever really does start to actually like the girl but didn't have intentions on liking her?

 

If he felt this way then he wouldn't be a player. If he wanted to cease being who he is then he might have some compassion. It is as "formerniceguy" said, he is in it for the game and has closed his emotions off long ago so he can't get hurt. He is like a robot who just goes about his assignment day after day. If he became as you state ( conscious ) then he would be in a position to be hurt. Don't waste time hoping for a change but keep your guard up because he will probably never stop the game.

[SouthernT]

For a man to keep this up on and off for 8 months with NO sexual achievement with me so far is simply amazing to me.

[Yamaha]

For a man to keep this up on and off for 8 months with NO sexual achievement with me so far is simply amazing to me.

Maybe so but he has lots of time. He is going about his business looking for women and if at some point you decide to add your name in the hat he has not wasted his time (if he sees you as a trophy).

[nittygritty]

For a man to keep this up on and off for 8 months with NO sexual achievement with me so far is simply amazing to me.

 

I think a player takes from people what they want without offering anything of themselves to the relationship. I would guess that the guy has had sex with other women in the last 8 months so how amazing is it really?

 

I think players have commitment issues. They don't want to be in a relationship with just one person. It doesn't necessarily have to be a sexual relationship. It could be a flirtation that they need just to feed their ego.

 

I would be careful not to put too much thought into everything he does. I doubt that he is putting much thought into what he is doing. As soon as you start questioning his behavior directly to him, he will disappear more than likely. Meanwhile, you have wasted sooo much time waiting for him to become the kind of guy your wanting him to be.

 

It doesn't sound like very many of your relationship needs are being met in this unattainable relationship and more than likely that is not ever going to change with this guy. So what would you really be winning if you won the heart of a player?

 

Not much!

[underpants]

Thanks for everybody's responses. I'm not trying to beat him at his own game at all. Because in my mind, I shouldnt have to. Either he's interested in something that's not superficial or he's not. He's known where I stood from day 1. So my question was more around the subject of when a player meets a good girl, does it EVER affect his conscious? Will he walk away himself if he ever really does start to actually like the girl but didnt have intentions on liking her? Like I said, there's no reason for ME to try and beat him at his own game. All I can do is remain consistant in my reply's. Which havent changed since day one.....

 

My take on this is that, you can't try to figure people out if they are not genuine or if they are confused. Some men just have alot of irons in the fire and stoke them occasionally to try to get an ember of interest. They simply have nothing to loose. As to walking away from a girl that wants a relationship, they might if that is not what they want. Some will fake wanting a relationship until they get a conquest or two under the belt then walk away when the idea of commitment or responsibility scares them. Who knows. The best thing is to try to make the best choices for you and sometimes that means not trying to date a guy that has ....something to prove or a track record of failures.

 

As far as why he still contacts you after 8 months, some guys repeat patterns with several women over periods of years. Again, observation, careful selection and knowing when to just cease responding might be worth considering.

 

Funny, last summer I had the opportunity to have a conversation with an older and by his admission former player. He admitted that when he was younger he dated lots of women simultanously and used them all for the different things each could offer him. He looked at the ground while he was confessing indicating to me that he felt a smigen of regret. He lives alone, in a run down shack, and it seems there are no more pretty ponies coming to his door. This is certainly not the case of all users, as some wise up, but for him, it seemed that he had become a result of his choices, alone.

 

I guess we all make choices and some of us will wind up alone but I never want to have to look at the ground when I reflect on my past.

[Trialbyfire]

This is what a player does. He sparks your interest and reels you in. In your case, since you're not the type of put out, he will reel you in at your pace. You will never know if his feelings are genuine and in some ways, at whatever given moment, his desire for you maybe genuine. Whether or not you can get consistency from him is a whole 'nother ballgame.

 

Consider how long you've now been obsessing about him, wondering what he's thinking, trying to puzzle him out. If he's any good at the game, he will strike when he knows you're at your weakest.