confucious Posted June 28, 2007 Posted June 28, 2007 A question of truth, lies, and where to draw the line... I have been seeing a girl for six months now. About three months in she decided to go to Mexico for two weeks and asked if I wanted to go. I said was too busy with a new business i had started but would have loved to go etc. Later I learn she has alerted various people she has met while travelling in Africa and other places and invited them to join her. This was of no concern to me. A month before she is to go, a guy from our home town posts on her Myspace, something that made it evident he was going with her. Two days later I get a somewhat guilty phone call asking if she had told me she was inviting others and then telling me who he was. The fact, is I didn't know she was leaving with others from our hometown, and felt I SHOULD have known if she is going travelling with a guy I did't know - I feel it is common courtesy to a boyfriend. I was disappointed by the fact she only brought it up when the post on her Myspace made it obvious. I imagine she otherwise would not have said anything, and I would never know. Not TOO bad though... Now - someone has told me she has a history with this guy, and she doesn't know I know. The saving grace is - I also know she made it clear it was not a romantic holiday for them both, that they are just friends. Once again, she doesn't know I know. I asked her point blank if she ever had a relationship, or has some past history, with him. She lied point blank and said no, nothing - ever. I am not sure, but I don't think anything happened with them while they were away. My concern is her contiuous lies and avoidance, all done I imagine to keep me from being jealous (I have NO history of jealousy with her, I am very hands off/we live our own lives etc.). My questions are do I take the lies as innocent attempts to avoid conflilct/jealousy (she is used to boyfriends being jealous)??Does the fact she is lying mean this is how she operates, and that this is who she is?It is obvioius she is lying because she knows she is doing something wrong - Do I assume that right and wrong are meanigless to her and that she will do what she wants regardless, just lying about it afterwards??Most importantly - how would YOU feel, what would you do??I am thinking I may ramp our relationship back to friends, maybe with benefits...I am adamant about honesty. She can go out, travel, and lie her face off and I won't feel like the moron who does all the boyfriend "work" while she is gallavanting about with old flames.
jcster Posted June 28, 2007 Posted June 28, 2007 She might be lying to avoid a conflict - but that certainly doesn't excuse her. I personally would not be able to trust her again.
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