Theck Posted June 27, 2007 Posted June 27, 2007 This is a long one!! Firstly - I haven't had a girlfriend yet so I'm not sure how to deal with all this stuff. I'm older than I should be (think early 20s) and obviously not having been out with anyone at my age attracts a fair bit of abuse online. I expect that, being my age without g/f is sad and lame and it shouldn't have happened but there it is and I'm trying to solve it. Heres the deal. About a year ago now I started chatting on MSN to a girl I met on a forum. She lives in Belgium, me in England. We chatted often, most nights in fact, sometimes for up to five hours per night. I started to fancy her. Or rather, fancy her online persona. We exchanged pics, I complimented hers. We had our ups and downs over the year, we each had our own problems during the time. I got her something she really wanted for Christmas and she was delighted. We seemed to really click online and would talk for hours and hours about complete rubbish. I kinda fell for her online persona, thinking she was the nicest girl I've ever known. Eventually we decided to meet. I wanted to see her for obvious reasons, she seemed to want to meet me too, not sure tho if that was just for friendship or something more. So I did it. I bit the bullet and booked flights & hotel. I stressed out for weeks beforehand, knowing I'd meet her finally. The day came round and I had the flight over there. We finally met, big meeting with an "OMG so good to see you" and a big hug. Details of the weekend are irrelevant, suffice to say we did a lot of touristy stuff, had a great laugh but nothing happened between us. I didn't get any obvious vibes from her, but then she told me beforehand that shes always been quite shy. I didn't give out obvious vibes, for two reasons. 1) Through plain and simple lack of experience and 2) I wouldn't have tried anything what with it being a first visit and all. She would be too important to me to waste on a quick one night stand. Boy would she be more important to me than THAT. Not all good news though.. I did meet a friend of hers to seemed to me to have all the hallmarks of a potential boyfriend. She's been single for several years and although they weren't all over each other, I could kinda tell there was some mutual fancying going on. All in all, I was amazed to discover that her real-life persona was even nicer than her Internet persona. Didn't think that possible. Also, the pictures she sent me didn't do her justice. She is GORGEOUS in real life. My god. Overall, she is without a shadow of a doubt the nicest girl I've ever known by miles. I compare every girl Ive met since to her and they don't come anywhere close to her on the scale. Anyway, holiday over, I came home. Now the weirdness has started. She seems very distant now. What used to be five hour conversations now seem to be 10 minute quick hellos. Emails back and forth have dried up. I know shes had a lot of work to do at college, but that wouldn't account for all the lack of communication. Its weird. I don't want to accuse her of ignoring me, but something definitely has changed. I don't know what. Did I not live up to her expectations or is it something else? I know the usual advice with Long Distance relationships. "Don't bother, they're too much trouble." I agree. I'd much rather meet a nice girl where I live, but I know for a fact I'm never gonna meet another girl like her and I doubt I'll ever find one as nice as her. Anyone any thoughts on all this? How to proceed? Do I have the remotest of chances with her or is it a complete pipe dream? I'm kinda reluctant to lose her as a friend too, even though I'd far rather have a relationship with her. I dunno. Any thoughts or advice or a different perspective would be appreciated. Short version - Met a girl on the Internet, got on really well, really fancy her. Met up, had a good time, nothing happened, now REALLY fancy her. Since I've got home she seems very distant and I need advice on how to continue.
TheSilentType Posted June 27, 2007 Posted June 27, 2007 I'm sorry to say, but I'm thinking she's not that interested in you. She feels that if she continues to talk to you now, it might lead you into thinking there is more Maybe when she met you, she was being nice since you had made all that effort. But she probably just saw you as a friend. You shouldn't have bought her that gift by the way. Don't give anything ever to any woman unless you 100% absolutely know she likes you. Never ever. And stay away from online relationships. They only build up so much expectation, and then when you meet it might be disappointing. Work on meeting girls where you are because then they take it or leave it so to say. You wont have invested so much time.
smile95 Posted June 27, 2007 Posted June 27, 2007 Does not sound like she was into it. Ya know it is nothing to do with you. People need to feel that spark and that attraction and even the most beautiful people in the world get turned down. i am sorry it is not going the way you wanted, but work on someone closer to home. Also, I was in a LDR for 5 yrs and it is so easy to be nice and oerfect when you see them once or twice a month. She had on her best face and so did you. You really did not know each other aside from online. It is easy to build people up that you do not see or really know. It is ok to dream, but do not stay hung up over someone you met once.
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