doiask42much Posted June 27, 2007 Posted June 27, 2007 My bf and I live a little over 50 miles apart and previously lived near or with each other so were used to seeing each other every day. A job opp took him down to OC (I live in LA), and I encouraged him to pursue it, but it's been harder on me than I thought it would be. He misses having me around too, and seeing each other on the weekends only (barring special events) often makes for us being a bit tired and apathetic after working all week and making the drive up/down. I've been trying to find a job down there so I can live with him (he's keen on the idea and his roommate is cool with it too--less rent for him), but interesting jobs in my field (writer/copywriter) in OC are few and far between. Perhaps I don't have enough experience to land the type of job I'd like either. There are a few interesting ones I'd really like up here, but then I'd be stuck being far from him. (He's expressed he doesn't want that.) It may sound submissive, but I value our relationship more than my career. I'm happy to take a job that isn't my dream job for the sake of spending more time with him. However, nothing has panned out so far, with the exception of one: it's near him, pays more than what I make now (not tons more, but it meets my lower-end requirement), but it's also duller and drier than what I do now. Not to say my current job is very exciting (B2C nutrition copywriter), far from it, just that this one is possibly worse (B2B mortgage copywriter). What would you do if you were me? I really just have no idea at all. I've been in touch with the woman who would be my boss if I got hired and I'm writing some stuff for her and she seems interested in hiring me still. It would at least be new since there'd be a learning curve and a whole new industry/environment/people, so I figure it'll take me a little time to hate it, but I am sure I will hate it eventually. But...I hate my current job also, mostly because I've been here too long. What to do? Will probably have to sh*t or get off the pot soon, regarding this particular job.
Starry-eyed Posted June 28, 2007 Posted June 28, 2007 My bf and I live a little over 50 miles apart and previously lived near or with each other so were used to seeing each other every day. A job opp took him down to OC (I live in LA), and I encouraged him to pursue it, but it's been harder on me than I thought it would be. He misses having me around too, and seeing each other on the weekends only (barring special events) often makes for us being a bit tired and apathetic after working all week and making the drive up/down. I've been trying to find a job down there so I can live with him (he's keen on the idea and his roommate is cool with it too--less rent for him), but interesting jobs in my field (writer/copywriter) in OC are few and far between. Perhaps I don't have enough experience to land the type of job I'd like either. There are a few interesting ones I'd really like up here, but then I'd be stuck being far from him. (He's expressed he doesn't want that.) It may sound submissive, but I value our relationship more than my career. I'm happy to take a job that isn't my dream job for the sake of spending more time with him. However, nothing has panned out so far, with the exception of one: it's near him, pays more than what I make now (not tons more, but it meets my lower-end requirement), but it's also duller and drier than what I do now. Not to say my current job is very exciting (B2C nutrition copywriter), far from it, just that this one is possibly worse (B2B mortgage copywriter). What would you do if you were me? I really just have no idea at all. I've been in touch with the woman who would be my boss if I got hired and I'm writing some stuff for her and she seems interested in hiring me still. It would at least be new since there'd be a learning curve and a whole new industry/environment/people, so I figure it'll take me a little time to hate it, but I am sure I will hate it eventually. But...I hate my current job also, mostly because I've been here too long. What to do? Will probably have to sh*t or get off the pot soon, regarding this particular job. but I value our relationship more than my career. I'm happy to take a job that isn't my dream job for the sake of spending more time with him. That seems pretty key, like the bottom line for you. If it is, then you should move to be closer to him because that is your priority. So another question could be, is it appropriate for your number one priority to be your bf instead of your career? How old are you and do you think you and your bf will get married or be together for a long time? Mortgage writing doesn't sound very interesting, but I'm not sure what B2C nutrition writing is. Maybe the mortgage writing could be short term and working there for awhile would allow you to look for something more stimulating or interesting in OC. Overall, though, I am leery of encouraging people to move to be near bf's or gf's, since you never know how the relationship will progress. Moving to a whole new area is a big risk and undertaking. So it takes lots of thought!
katiebour Posted June 28, 2007 Posted June 28, 2007 Following 10 months of similar distance which itself followed 6 months of almost living in each other's pockets, I made the move to be with my b/f. I've been here for almost a year now, and I am much, much happier. That alone makes it worth it to me. But knowing that he's happy too and progressing and deepening our relationship makes it even better. What have you got to lose? Jobs are everywhere- you can work at a crappy job anywhere until a great one comes along. But your b/f is only in one place- where do you want to be?
Author doiask42much Posted June 28, 2007 Author Posted June 28, 2007 What have you got to lose? Jobs are everywhere- you can work at a crappy job anywhere until a great one comes along. But your b/f is only in one place- where do you want to be? Katie, that's what I thought too. At one time, we weren't so solid and I didn't feel that keen on making the move, but I think things are on the upswing and I fear they could go back into the downswing if I don't move down there. I am the sort who needs to see my SO a lot. I am barely managing with things as they are. I don't think I could continue on for a great deal longer. It is more that I think I will hate this job and may then resent him. I don't think so? But who knows. He's also quite a slob, so I'm a bit worried about that. Two slobby boys and me. You're right, it could be for the interim. I just would feel bad if I left them too soon. They definitely asked me questions that suggested it was a concern.
Author doiask42much Posted June 28, 2007 Author Posted June 28, 2007 Mortgage writing doesn't sound very interesting, but I'm not sure what B2C nutrition writing is. Sorry, it's business to consumer, rather than business to business. I much prefer B2C since it's easier to pinpoint what an individual would like to see than a company. For me, anyway. I actually have NO CLUE what companies want in terms of marketing copy! I know what you're saying. I've seen two close friends move here from the East Coast, and their relationships went belly up and they were left marooned in LA and miserable. I am 31, he's 30. We've been on and off, more on than off, for five years now. He is open to marriage but mostly to placate me. I'm still not sure how I feel about that. We had many issues that delayed our progress and ruined his trust in me. I'm just now winning it back. I'm kind of over LA and my job here; don't feel I would miss it terribly. Though I must say OC is pretty cookie cutter. I guess I was just being a lazyass, not wanting to complete this freelance test assignment she gave me because it's so freaking boring (not a good sign, eh?) and looking for a way out. I just have been feeling so unmotivated lately and I enjoy chatting with y'all on LS way more! What I have to do is give every job opp that comes my way my best effort and then I'll figure out what to do if I get any offers. I just found out today that I have an interview on Friday. Job is marginally less boring (copywriting for a vocational school) and pays a little more, so that's cool. Can't hang my hat on anything, of course. I just worried that the mortgage company was going to make me an offer pretty soon, and I didn't know what I'd say. Thanks for your reply, Starry.
Author doiask42much Posted June 28, 2007 Author Posted June 28, 2007 I guess the thing was that this is not only not my dream job, but it's the opposite of a dream job, pretty much. Just a way to bring home the bacon. But my current job is pretty much that by now. Also, nutrition is more relatable to me because, well, I eat. I've never had a mortgage before! They say write what you know, and yeah, you can write what you don't know, but it comes out better when you do know.
Starry-eyed Posted June 29, 2007 Posted June 29, 2007 I guess the thing was that this is not only not my dream job, but it's the opposite of a dream job, pretty much. Just a way to bring home the bacon. But my current job is pretty much that by now. Also, nutrition is more relatable to me because, well, I eat. I've never had a mortgage before! They say write what you know, and yeah, you can write what you don't know, but it comes out better when you do know. Hi Doi, Well, now you've got TWO job possibilitie in OC. So maybe the job won't be an issued (knowing you'll probably take on and keep looking for the dream job). So, your bf and you have been through a lot together, with ups and downs, and you feel nows in an upswing. Is your relationship with your bf stable? Is being with him the thing most important to you? Do you think his trust in you will be fully restored and you'll have a relationship of equal trust and respect? I've never been to OC, or very many parts at all of LA, but if "cookie cutter" means suburbs, I love the suburbs. I've lived in suburbs most of my life and I like them. Urban neighborhoods have their good points, too, but I prefer the environent of a 'burb. Guess I just like to drive my car around and have the stores I shop at close-by (Target, Walmart, Meier & Frank, Barnes & Noble, Fred Meyer, the malls!), like green lawns with big trees and the family feel. I got home really late tonight and am super tired, so I can't post more tonight.
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