jamesdean007 Posted June 27, 2007 Posted June 27, 2007 I work with sally. she is 24. I am 37. we have a professional business relationship. Last Friday, she told me that she has to stop talking to everybody and do her work (I think she may got in trouble.). and She will not talk at work. she told me not to take it personally. I said, "Ok, but I don't like your new policy...I want to talk with you so we will have to go to lunch at your convience." We have we went to luch before. She said, "Ok." Today, she said she wants to have luch with me this Friday. The thing is this, she is being silent with me and everybody else. I know she has flirted with me and I have flirted with her in times past. There is tension in the air, and she knows it is not my fault. It could have been somthing she heard or what, but know she doesn't like to talk...I kind of know what she is going through... Here is how I plan to proceed with this. I will not talk to her, and she likes it to be. I will wait to go to luch with her on Friday. We always have a lot to talk about when we are talking..I think deep down she likes me, but there is an age difference and we are in the work place..the question is, has anybody experienced the silent treatment and how do i overcome it with her, thanks for your advice.
JackJack Posted June 27, 2007 Posted June 27, 2007 I don't think she's givign you the "silent treatment" like you think she is. It seems she's is silent and not talking because she must have gotten in trouble for talking so much at work. Her work performance was possibly suffering from it. You did say she was silent with not only you, but others in the office as well, so if I were you, I wouldn't take that personally. She agreed to have lunch with you, so I'm not sure what the problem is. You all can talk about things during lunch.
Trialbyfire Posted June 27, 2007 Posted June 27, 2007 She's a smart girl. If she was warned not to talk, why would she break it to please anyone else? It's not worth being fired for.
whichwayisup Posted June 27, 2007 Posted June 27, 2007 I don't see the big issue here? She's decided to focus on work and not socialize, talk to others while working. Why are you taking that so personally? It's not about you. So, go out and have that lunch, talk and be happy. Don't discuss her choices for not talking at work unless she brings it up. And if she does, don't ask her if she's mad at you, cuz she isn't.
Krytellan Posted June 27, 2007 Posted June 27, 2007 I have to completely agree with the other posters. There really doesn't seem to be an issue here. She told you what's up. It's not like she's just ignoring you and chatting up everyone else. Go with it. Have fun at lunch on Friday and she will likely tell you what's going on then.
Author jamesdean007 Posted June 28, 2007 Author Posted June 28, 2007 Thanks for the info all above. It just seems not the same, you know she just went cold turkey. She did give me the heads up though. I just never seemed to be in this situation before. This is one reason why I am mentioning this. Today, when i seen her, i just walked by said hi. It is nothing cheerful as before..i am going to show show her understanding and give her the space she needs...At the same time, really now don't want to go to luch with her. Either i have changed or she has...who knows, it just seems akward now. Thanks again..at o
Author jamesdean007 Posted June 28, 2007 Author Posted June 28, 2007 all the information is good. thanks alot.. I know she had told me that i am one of the few persons that she can trust. (I guess because we both grew up in the same town, we work in a big city). it just seems awkard now, no more cheerfulness, just a casual hi...it seems now that i don't want to go out to lunch with her..i really don't know what to say to her now...we are both quiet to each other. i think she did get into trouble, and she is not saying. i guess she is trying to find out who told on her, and if she can't find out, then she will remain quiet. I don't think this is a topic that I should bring up with her.. It is also hard for me, knowing that we use to talk daily and now we don't talk...I really don't know what expression to put on me when i see her.. Do i act cheerful to say hi, or do i act quiet and say hi...that is all we do now is just say, hi...
JackJack Posted June 28, 2007 Posted June 28, 2007 At the same time, really now don't want to go to luch with her. Either i have changed or she has.. I don't think anyone has "changed", I think she's doing was what asked of her. To not talk so much. Obvioulsy her work needs to come first. She DID NOT just stop talking to you right? You did say she stopped talking to others as well. I think its good she cares enough about her job to do what was asked of her. To bad you don't feel the same. She agreed to lunch with you, if you want to find out what's really going on, then you'll need to go have lunch with her. To all of a sudden not want to go becasue she's trying to get her work done and not talk so much, is ridiculas.
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