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Renewal of Friendship at Arm's Length


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Posted

An old friend and I had a bit of a falling out about six months ago. I recently sent her a "happy birthday" text, to which she responded rather cheerfully. She sent me a happy birthday text on my birthday as well.

 

I think I'd like to renew the friendship, but want to do so at arms length. I don't think we can ever be as close as we were before, but our history goes back over ten years, most which was good. I'd like to be casual friends. We share a lot of the same friends, and while it would definitely make the shared friends encounters less awkward, I do wonder how she's doing and would like to catch up. I by no means want to resume the every weekend barfest we had going before, but I would like to have the occasional lunch or dinner to girl talk, etc. I'm in a new relationship, and things are going great, but I realize that I miss my old pals and could use some girl time.

 

Whaddya think?

Posted

If your boyfriend approves then I say go for it.

  • Author
Posted

I'm sure he would. After all, the whole reason I want to renew this friendship is so I can brag about the new boyfriend. :p

 

I'm still taking serious responses.

Posted

Well well well, look who has come out from hiding............

 

I remember that story. I can relate to it. I think that it would be ok to hang out with her again, but just keep in mind what happened before. If you are comfortable with resuming the friendship, then do it, but if you are not sure, then limit don't see her as much, simple as that.

 

Me personally, I don't like drama, and she sounds like drama, so limit the amount of time.

 

Happy belated B-Day.

Posted

I think you can do this, but you'll need to be very careful that you don't fall in to your old patterns with her. This could be really hard because you don't know any other way of being her friend other than being best friends or not speaking at all. Learning how to not so close friends could be difficult and can be easy to slip back into the habits of your old friendship. If you miss her, go for it, but be careful!

Posted

Forget it. She's trouble, and this can only lead to a threesome. A threesome of gossip, miscommunications, and split milk.

  • Author
Posted

Thanks everyone. The feeling seems to have passed, at least for now. I've guess I've been feeling nostalgic lately.

 

Truthfully, I don't really miss her. On a very basic level our personalities are SO different. I think we only became friends in the first place because we were thrown into the same situation (college dorm life) and stayed friends because we were the last single girls from our group.

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