livestrong1 Posted June 25, 2007 Posted June 25, 2007 My wife and i are in the middle of a separation.I am still living at home intill the house sells.I have the boys every other week.She took the boys away to her moms for 4 days,it was the hardest 4 days i every had and the longest they been away from me.My boys are 7 and 3.I do not think i can live with out them. Should i put up with my wife and be sad,to be with my boys I need a answer ASAP
Lizzie60 Posted June 25, 2007 Posted June 25, 2007 My wife and i are in the middle of a separation.I am still living at home intill the house sells.I have the boys every other week.She took the boys away to her moms for 4 days,it was the hardest 4 days i every had and the longest they been away from me.My boys are 7 and 3.I do not think i can live with out them. Should i put up with my wife and be sad,to be with my boys I need a answer ASAP This is not an easy question... It all depends why you're separating... Have you cheat or your wife? If it's a problem you can both resolvev then I say give it another try. I know it's soooo hard when children are involved.
Stevearino Posted June 26, 2007 Posted June 26, 2007 Livestrong1, I am going thru a divorce and had the same thoughts you are having, "Will I be able to live without my kids". I was pissed at mt STBX for turning me into a weekend dad, not being there to tuck them in bed at night, dinner conversations, etc. In talking with other men who are there already, they say they have better relationships with their kids now then when they were together as a family. Remember if you are happy your kids will see and feel that, if you are sad or angry which most likely will be the case if you force yourself to stay with your wife they will see and feel that also. It will be a tough adjustment...you are in fear of change...you will be OK and so will the kids. I am currently reading a book called "The Good Divorce" by Constance Ahrons. It has been very helpful in getting me thru this whole ordeal and giving me a better understanding of divorce along with how to set up a "binuclear" family for the good of the kids. Good Luck to you, Steve
wife_left_me Posted June 27, 2007 Posted June 27, 2007 Sorry to hear you are going thru this but it does get better. I also only see my boys on he weekends and it is tough not being there for them on a day to day basis. One of my older friends who went thru the same situation 20 years ago had some good advice for me. He said "Your kids will be adults much longer then they are kids. Always be there for them when you can and never let them see you fight or argue with your ex. In their eyes she will always win and you will become their enemy. When they get older and can make their own decisions you will be the one they turn to as a friend." Stay strong and hope it gets better for you.
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