budd98 Posted June 25, 2007 Posted June 25, 2007 I have a weird situation here. I have been dating a girl for 2.5 years now. She is 25, me 27. Anyways, she has asked for space a month ago and I gave it to her. We still talk everyday and text. I really want to be back to the way it was, but something is holding her away. I partied with her uncle a couple weeks ago and he said that I need to ignore her for a couple of days cause she is just like her mom. He said that I need to play the game and act like I don't care. He told me to never say he told me that. I am really good friends with her uncle. That night I hung out with him, she was out for a bachelorette party and ran into me. I said hi and she got so mad I was out. She left and then started sending me messages like "I hate you" "Never contact me again" "Have fun hooking up with chicks". I ignored them all and then at 3 am she started calling me restricted(like 15 times in a row). She left me 3 voice mails and they were so mean. The last one said that she knows why my ex cheated on me and that she should have a long time ago. She said that she was going over to the dude I hates house. So I called her back after that one and she answered just to hang up on me. My questions are these: How come if she wants space, why does she get so mad at me if I go out? Do you think she would hook up with anyone just by how she is acting? Do you think me playing the "don't care" game will help? Is there anything I can do to make her want me more? Thanks.
dbtmarley Posted June 25, 2007 Posted June 25, 2007 One thing I have learned in 38 years is to stay away from a vindictive female and she sounds like one. She left me 3 voice mails and they were so mean. The last one said that she knows why my ex cheated on me and that she should have a long time ago. To use something that you told her in confidence against you is just plain wrong to put it simply. Sometimes people project their own actions or guilt, like below: "Have fun hooking up with chicks". Do you think me playing the "don't care" game will help? Is there anything I can do to make her want me more? Thanks. She sounds like problems and I think it would be in your best interest to leave this girl alone.
Lizzie60 Posted June 25, 2007 Posted June 25, 2007 RUN...RUN... DON'T LOOK BACK!!! She is bad news... 'spoiled mean brat'... she has big issues to work on .... she acts like a 14 yr old... and even then...sometimes 14 yr old are more mature... How come if she wants space, why does she get so mad at me if I go out? Wanting space is ALWAYS bad news... she gets mad because she a spoiled brat... SHE CAN do things...but NOT YOU... wow... Do you think she would hook up with anyone just by how she is acting? Possibly... but you shouldn't worry about that... pray that she does... and move on for your own sake. Do you think me playing the "don't care" game will help? Yes definitely... and play that 'don't care game' for the 10 next years.... minimum. Is there anything I can do to make her want me more? Gawd I hope not... Don't be a male doormat... Move on... never mind this moron.
meleeda Posted June 25, 2007 Posted June 25, 2007 From the point of view of a girl who was once like that. Trust me I did all those things when I was younger, I would say that she truly has to learn a few lesson in life and one of the biggest lesson is she sounds insecure. your relationship from this point will never get to where it was as you have had the experience of what has happened and she will always be acting this way, take some time for your own sanity and get over this girl "remember when god closes one door a new one always opens" Someone out their is waitiing to meet you, but until your free of the past you will not be open to her.
Trialbyfire Posted June 25, 2007 Posted June 25, 2007 It's difficult to believe that she's 25 years-old because she's acting like a spoiled 5 year-old with a tantrum. You don't want her more, you should be wanting to escape a lifetime of drama by giving her permanent space.
Author budd98 Posted June 25, 2007 Author Posted June 25, 2007 What if I still have such strong feelings for her? I know its crazy I have put up with so much, but I wish it was easier to walk away. Maybe its because I have invested so much into the relationship. Everytime she is in a bad spot, I am there to pick her right up - financially, emotionally, or whatever. How do you think she will react if I ignore her calls and texts? Why does she always say things like "I bet you took your shirt off in v-ball" or in text messages when she is mad says "best of luck" "wish you the best." I know she is insecure, but why does she always think I am triing to show off or hook up with girls? I have never given any reason for her not to trust me. And if she doesn't care about the relationship as she says, why is she so worried about what I am doing?
Trialbyfire Posted June 25, 2007 Posted June 25, 2007 What if I still have such strong feelings for her? I know its crazy I have put up with so much, but I wish it was easier to walk away. Maybe its because I have invested so much into the relationship. Everytime she is in a bad spot, I am there to pick her right up - financially, emotionally, or whatever. How do you think she will react if I ignore her calls and texts? Why does she always say things like "I bet you took your shirt off in v-ball" or in text messages when she is mad says "best of luck" "wish you the best." I know she is insecure, but why does she always think I am triing to show off or hook up with girls? I have never given any reason for her not to trust me. And if she doesn't care about the relationship as she says, why is she so worried about what I am doing? Remember budd, it doesn't matter why she's like this. Better to step back and watch her actions instead. Do you honestly want to live this way forever? You may not control her but you can control yourself. Take back your personal pride and walk away from an unhealthy relationship.
vivrantflo Posted June 25, 2007 Posted June 25, 2007 Whenever a SO says they want space, it means they want to see what's out there. 99% of the time. So when she was accusing you of hooking up with chicks or whatever, it's her guilt surfacing. I'm also 99% sure she's talking to other guys right now. For 25, she acts really childish. I understand you have feelings for her, cause you were with her for so long. But once you start seeing other women around your age, you'll realize that your ex is just not mature enough for you. Dont talk to her anymore, and give yourself time to get over her. Shes not even worth your thoughts.
Author budd98 Posted June 25, 2007 Author Posted June 25, 2007 Do you think she still wants to be with me because of the fact that she calls me when she gets off work, when something exciting happens, or just finds a reason to talk? She will talk for an hour or so most of the time. She also texts me alot of the time. Many of the calls she tells me a reason for her calling. I think she just tries to play that cool though. If she didn't care then she would react so much to what I do right? She says that she has too many hard feelings toward me. I have been really good to her, but she likes to make everything always look like my fault. I usually just take the blame cause I hate fighting and drama. We did hang out last wednesday and ended up hooking up. I have since spent 4 of the last 9 nights at her place. I thought it would be better and have done my best to get there, but she just doesn't seem to have her heart into it. If I cut contact and ignore her, will that make her miss me more?
vivrantflo Posted June 27, 2007 Posted June 27, 2007 Dude, she does not want to be with you. If she did, she would come right out and tell you. She ended the relationship by asking for space. She is calling you and sending messeges to you cause she wants to see if you're still around pining after her. I understand you are hurting, but she's given you no indication that she wants you back. You're looking at every little contact she makes as her wanting to come back.. which isn't the case. That's why people here promote no contact. She doesn't want to be with you, so you should give yourself time to heal, and move on from her. Ignore her calls, messeges, and texts. Let her experience life without you in it. If she ever wants you back, she WILL find you and let you know. But seriously, you need to leave her alone for your own sake man. And by the way, if you do want her back, sleeping with her is ruining your chances even more. She's getting the cake and eating it too. There were times she has missed you.. but instead of letting her sit on that, and wonder whats up with you.. u go over there and fulfill her need.. now she has even more insentive not to get back with you.. she's getting the goods for free! You're making her transition from you, to being single easier cause she gets the physical benefits without the commitment. Then when/if she finds another guy.. she'll ignore you completely.. trust me. Go no contact man, and start putting yourself first.
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