Star Gazer Posted June 27, 2007 Posted June 27, 2007 Ok question: from a legal stand point if a girl puts a guy on don'tdatehim.com can't the guy sue for defirmation of charactor. I know I would. Well, you can be sued for ANYTHING. Whether the case has merit or not is something entirely different. But yes, depending on what is said, you put yourself in jeopardy. So why risk an expensive lawsuit by stooping to their level to post on that site?
Author Bree Posted June 27, 2007 Author Posted June 27, 2007 Yes I admit I am a revenge addict, but i would never post on a web site. That i do think is to extreme and pathetic.
doiask42much Posted June 27, 2007 Posted June 27, 2007 I guess they just take the chance that the ex won't want to go through the trouble and expense of litigation? It doesn't sound like a site that "grown folks" would be posting on. I'm guessing the defamed probably don't have the means/knowledge to file a lawsuit, nor would the defendant have anything much in the way of assets that the plaintiff could get their hands on. But I guess I would have to look at the site to see what demographic is posting.
tanbark813 Posted June 27, 2007 Posted June 27, 2007 throwing it in a dumpster and being happy about it. I never said I was happy about it. I felt a certain amount of justification and vindication but it would be inaccurate to say I got pleasure out of it. I do believe he started reading up on anger management afterward...? (I hope?) I did, but it wasn't because of that. No consequences, no learning process. You have to understand the mentality of a cheating spouse to truly understand the need for consequences... Completely agree.
Star Gazer Posted June 27, 2007 Posted June 27, 2007 TBF - as someone who has cheated, I don't think I needed to be punished in such a juvenile fashion to learn a lesson and never do it again. I just don't believe two wrongs make a right, no matter what the history is. Tan - She simply broke up with you and wasted your time to come get her stuff. She wasn't a malicious, cheating wife. Her flakiness doesn't justify dumping her stuff in the dumpster.
Author Bree Posted June 27, 2007 Author Posted June 27, 2007 yes, two wrongs don't make a right, but the cheaters should never go unpunished. After all "cheaters never prosper"
tanbark813 Posted June 27, 2007 Posted June 27, 2007 Tan - She simply broke up with you and wasted your time to come get her stuff. She wasn't a malicious, cheating wife. Her flakiness doesn't justify dumping her stuff in the dumpster. It's a little more in depth than that and whether or not she cheated remains an unanswered question. Whether or not it was justified is subjective. I feel it was. I don't subscribe to the notion of "turn the other cheek".
Star Gazer Posted June 27, 2007 Posted June 27, 2007 It's a little more in depth than that and whether or not she cheated remains an unanswered question. Whether or not it was justified is subjective. I feel it was. I don't subscribe to the notion of "turn the other cheek". What you subscribe to is very clear. I am just disturbed by it is all. I guess I just don't understand angry people. I've been hurt pretty badly in my lifetime, and it never would have even occurred to me to "get revenge" on any of them, no matter how trivial the gesture.
tanbark813 Posted June 27, 2007 Posted June 27, 2007 What you subscribe to is very clear. I am just disturbed by it is all. What can I say, I read a lot of Nietzsche.
annabelle75 Posted June 27, 2007 Posted June 27, 2007 killed him hid the body ...ok I didn't actaully do it, but I sure did fantasize about it alot
Star Gazer Posted June 27, 2007 Posted June 27, 2007 What can I say, I read a lot of Nietzsche. And? I do too. But I'm just not...angry. Like I said, I've been hurt just as badly as anyone else, if not more (more than I care to admit to sometimes out of embarassment), but I just don't understand the benefit TO ME as a human being of stooping to their level. If anything, I risk becoming just like them. I feel I've grown considerably as a result of being the bigger person. "One should die proudly when it is no longer possible to live proudly." -Friedrich Nietzsche "He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster." -Friedrich Nietzsche "What does not destroy me, makes me stronger." -Friedrich Nietzsche
Author Bree Posted June 27, 2007 Author Posted June 27, 2007 killed him hid the body ...ok I didn't actaully do it, but I sure did fantasize about it alot :lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao:
Author Bree Posted June 27, 2007 Author Posted June 27, 2007 hey where is A4A did I miss something? I haven't seen her post and i figured she'd have plenty to say to this thread. Fork and all.
tanbark813 Posted June 27, 2007 Posted June 27, 2007 "One should die proudly when it is no longer possible to live proudly." -Friedrich Nietzsche "He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster." -Friedrich Nietzsche "What does not destroy me, makes me stronger." -Friedrich Nietzsche "To exercise power costs effort and demands courage. That is why so many fail to assert rights to which they are perfectly entitled - because a right is a kind of power but they are too lazy or too cowardly to exercise it. The virtues which cloak these faults are called patience and forbearance." -Friedrich Nietzsche "There are no moral phenomena at all, but only a moral interpretation of phenomena." -Friedrich Nietzsche "Put that in your pipe and smoke it." -tanbark813
Pyro Posted June 27, 2007 Posted June 27, 2007 The way that I look at it is that for those of us who believe in karma, we won't retaliate and seek revenge. We will let karma bite them in the arse. Bree: I too am wondering where a4a is. I could use some comic relief.
allina Posted June 27, 2007 Posted June 27, 2007 When all is said and done I think nothing is better than walking away with your pride and living well. Yes, your ex might not know that you've moved on well, but it's sure better than you ex sitting around with their friends laughing at you for being a total psycho. Maybe revenge satisfies your craving for immediate satisfaction of having "shown them" but that's all. You're still a silly, bitter person, and you're doing more arm to you then the ex.
Star Gazer Posted June 27, 2007 Posted June 27, 2007 "To exercise power costs effort and demands courage. That is why so many fail to assert rights to which they are perfectly entitled - because a right is a kind of power but they are too lazy or too cowardly to exercise it. The virtues which cloak these faults are called patience and forbearance." You don't see how that's arguing exactly AGAINST revenge, do you? Anyway...
Star Gazer Posted June 27, 2007 Posted June 27, 2007 When all is said and done I think nothing is better than walking away with your pride and living well. Yes, your ex might not know that you've moved on well, but it's sure better than your ex sitting around with their friends laughing at you for being a total psycho. Maybe revenge satisfies your craving for immediate satisfaction of having "shown them" but that's all. You're still a silly, bitter person, and you're doing more harm to you then the ex. I agree completely, A.
tanbark813 Posted June 27, 2007 Posted June 27, 2007 You don't see how that's arguing exactly AGAINST revenge, do you? Anyway... In that quote he uses "virtues" sarcastically. He's saying that most "virtues" are actually disguises for weakness. That was one of the main problems he had with Christianity (the idea of turning the other cheek being a good example). In that quote he's saying that patience and forbearance are cloaked (falsely) as being virtuous.
allina Posted June 27, 2007 Posted June 27, 2007 The way that I look at it is that for those of us who believe in karma, we won't retaliate and seek revenge. We will let karma bite them in the arse. My view on it doesn't have much to do with karma, I just think it's a stupid thing to do And Oooooops! typo *than :o
Star Gazer Posted June 27, 2007 Posted June 27, 2007 In that quote he uses "virtues" sarcastically. He's saying that most "virtues" are actually disguises for weakness. That was one of the main problems he had with Christianity (the idea of turning the other cheek being a good example). In that quote he's saying that patience and forbearance are cloaked (falsely) as being virtuous. "Turning the other cheek" is not a Christian concept. It actually stems from Judaism, where the "living well is the best revenge" proverb comes from. And if patience and forebearing on seeking revenge are flaws, then I'd truly prefer to be the "weakest" most flawed person on the planet. Moreover, there's no need to exert "effort" or "courage" when Karma will do the work for you.
doiask42much Posted June 27, 2007 Posted June 27, 2007 It just seems to me that Tan and his lady were at the point where he owed her no more courtesy than he would a stranger. He had done her a favor by letting her leave her stuff there already, and she repaid him by being flaky. If she valued her belongings, she would have known the ice was thin and shown up for them. She could have at the very least called/called him back to explain what happened. (I know Tan and SG have already moved on to the philosophical rather than the pragmatic. How I love to beat a dead horse!)
tanbark813 Posted June 27, 2007 Posted June 27, 2007 "Turning the other cheek" is not a Christian concept. It actually stems from Judaism Christianity stems from Judaism too. As for the other stuff you're entitled to your position, of course, I just don't agree.
tanbark813 Posted June 27, 2007 Posted June 27, 2007 If she valued her belongings, she would have known the ice was thin and shown up for them. She could have at the very least called/called him back to explain what happened. Precisely. Had she called to arrange an alternate time, no problem. But she didn't.
Star Gazer Posted June 27, 2007 Posted June 27, 2007 It just seems to me that Tan and his lady were at the point where he owed her no more courtesy than he would a stranger. I don't think that matters. In my mind, even a stranger's belongings should not have been thrown in the garbage. If she valued her belongings, she would have known the ice was thin and shown up for them. The girl was at Disneyland for crying out loud...right, Tan? I'm not waffling on my opinion here, but it's one thing to seek some sort of revenge on a lying, cheating, manipulative spouse, and quite another to seek revenge on a flaky lame girl who is nothing more than a stranger. If you can be that mean to a proverbial stranger...
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