Christuhfur Posted June 25, 2007 Posted June 25, 2007 hey, Well i have a pretty big problem. These last couple months have been an emotional rollar coaster for me. I really need some help with this because this was my first relationship and i had no idea what to expect or deal with. My girlfriend of about 5 months broke up with me about a month ago but weve been talking and its pretty much has been like we were still dating. Hanging out alot saying i love you its like the break up didnt even happen but we werent an official couple. I started going out with her in December when her ex bf of just about a year cheated on her and she found out. I guess i was there to pick up the pieces and we eventually went out. Things were great! so i know this relationship we have can go somewhere but heres the problem... just last night i talked to her on the phone and we both felt like something was wrong. She told me she didnt want a serious relationship. Thats a big problem for me because its all i want right now. Especially one with her. She also told me she doesnt want the hassels of having to deal with jealousy and fights and stuff like that. so basically she wants all the love without the boyfriend. She still loves me though. The truth is i love her to and without a doubt in my mind i would marry this girl no regrets. Shes amazing and the perfect one for me except for this problem. So i dont know what to do being this is my first time going through this. I dont know wether to go or to stay. I dont know if i can or want to let go because im not ready to and god i just dont want to. If someone could give me some advice it'd be great im really in a bind here
funkybassplayer Posted June 25, 2007 Posted June 25, 2007 If you wanna stay in pain then keep doind what your doing, otherwise move on, no contact, will be hard, but in time you will find someone that wants what you do
oavada Posted June 25, 2007 Posted June 25, 2007 I would just keep pressing her..it sounds like shes just afraid of the intensity of the relationship...i would continue to try and develop something if thats what you want...do your best to try and solidify the relationship, and if you cant, then move on.. .dont give up just yet...keep pressuring her..so many girls i think if you just go after them theyll accept it...its when you dont do anything that they jsut move on...step up and claim what you want...i wish i had done that a few times in my life with some girls i liked. In other words, stand up, be a man, go after what you want and give it your best shot...if you fail, then at least you tried..go for it.
vivrantflo Posted June 25, 2007 Posted June 25, 2007 I'm sorry man, but to me, it appears you're the victim of a rebound. And in most cases, those relationships don't work out. However, if you do want her back, the best way to maximize your chances, is to let her know how u feel about her and what you want from her, then leave her alone for a while.. Let her have the chance to sort her feelings out, and at the same time it allows her to miss you. Move on with your life.. hope for the best, but dont count on her coming back.
Author Christuhfur Posted June 25, 2007 Author Posted June 25, 2007 I'm sorry man, but to me, it appears you're the victim of a rebound. And in most cases, those relationships don't work out. However, if you do want her back, the best way to maximize your chances, is to let her know how u feel about her and what you want from her, then leave her alone for a while.. Let her have the chance to sort her feelings out, and at the same time it allows her to miss you. Move on with your life.. hope for the best, but dont count on her coming back. you know i thought it was the rebound to but i forgot to mention that we did talk about if i was something to just help her get over her ex. Well idk if its true but from what she says its not. She said she was ready for a relationship and hated being alone she had been seperated from her ex about 3 months before i even met her and she absoulutly hates cheaters so i was sure that she had gotten over him and she had. The ex would try and call or text her and she'd either ignore or give him a big F you. thats all i needed to see but still i wasnt convinced but then she told me that there was something differant about me. Because im def not one of the guys that go out and just use women thats not what im about i think i am differant. which is a good thing. But i just dont get why she wouldnt want a seroius relationship when she thinks im a good guy and wouldnt do anything to hurt her. It just confuses me. The truth is I WANNA STAY but if there isnt a chance i wanna move on with my life. Sure itll be painful but if thats what it takes to be happy and have a relationship with her its def worth it. So in her own words shes told me she doesnt want a seroius relationship because..... a. She thinks its pointless trying to find love at an early age ( were both 16 shell be 17 in oct ) Because it doesnt mean anything. she thinks that people wont get married or anything. Me on the other hand haha lots of people marry there high school sweethearts so why cant we be like them? b. she could be afraid of getting hurt again but why should she when she KNOWS that im not that kinda guy? c. She HATES being pressured and belive me im def not acting like i dont care but its a HUGE turn off to her when she's being pressured and stuff so im not following that path but im def not gunna just act like i dont care because i really do. d. she doesnt want to deal with the bf and gf jealousy. You know the "who's that girl your talking to" " oh shes just a friend" "YEA RIGHT!" kinda stuff ya know what im talking about? she just doesnt want the hassel i guess you could say of having a bf and worrying about what im doing and where im going and stuff. Basically no drama. shes tired of it e. Her friends keep telling her shes differant like she used to go out and party and stuff but shes pretty occupied because of me sometimes so she also doesnt want that either. One thing i do know about her is that she loves me she's told me numerous times and on top of all this she still says i love you chris.... She feels horrible for doing this to me and stuff but she says she doesnt wanna make me happy while shes still unhappy. She wants us both to be happy and i want her to be happy. The thing is we both love each other and ive been fighting SO HARD for this girl i just i dont want this feeling to end =[ please keep helping me the feedback is great
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