upto_here Posted June 24, 2007 Posted June 24, 2007 FOR NEARLY 2 WEEKS i have been impatient ...for you guys some of you might read my last post about my MM asking for the time to sort out his head...!!! i still give him time and space but its killing me inside out i don't know what i am waiting for,for the past few weeks we have been tru as i call it a very very deep emotional A ....we share our feeling for each other and he told me about his attitude change at home and he don't know how to deal with all the situation and can not get his head around it...and also our R from start until now...i don't know what to think or guess any more ...i try to relax and get on with my own things but i can not help myself to bring out the thought....i asked him about his sex life at home and he said its all going down hill ...i believe him because i knew he never lie to me..but i don't understand 1 things as well as he told me he doesn't want to intimate with me just yet which is killing me...i do understand that what we been tru is very very emotional ...but what does he want from our R and why does he always asked for more time ...??? i did asked him that why we still hanging on to each other ? still... theres too many questions which he can not answers....!!! please give me some advice what should i do,,,as i am really hopeless and don't know what to think anymore....
GreenEyedLady Posted June 25, 2007 Posted June 25, 2007 If you guys haven't had sex yet, I don't know what you're waiting around for... He obviously is having more of his needs met by his W and you deserve more out of a R...He wants you as a shoulder to cry on...He gets to feel desired, which gives him an ego boost and tell himself he hasn't cheated...and you get NOTHING... Get out now before the situation gets out of control...If there's this much drama early on, it's not a good sign...
Lizzie60 Posted June 25, 2007 Posted June 25, 2007 I haven't read your past posts... How long have you been having an A with him? From what I read, you never had sex.... he puts you on 'hold'... and you're wondering why and for how long? Um... my guess... he's putting you on hold maybe because he's trying to get another A on the go...and it takes longer than expected... so he's just keeping you 'in case' the other one doesn't work. Other than that I have no idea why he would buy some time with you... really... He is definitely having sex with his wife... or someone else...if you believe otherwise you are very naive my dear.
whichwayisup Posted June 25, 2007 Posted June 25, 2007 i asked him about his sex life at home and he said its all going down hill ...i believe him because i knew he never lie to me..but i don't understand 1 things as well as he told me he doesn't want to intimate with me just yet which is killing me Yes, and I'm sure his wife believes that he doesn't lie to her either. Don't let your emotions and heart lead yourself on here...He IS feeding you lines, not malciously, but selfishly, to keep you interested and isn't going to hurt your feelings. Do you really believe they aren't having sex? He isn't being intimate with you, maybe he's backing off and needs time. Maybe he will leave his wife, maybe he won't. That isn't up to you at all. BUT what you DO have control over is how you handle yourself, and if you want to stay or go for good. I wish you would say goodbye and move on, but I figure you don't want to do that as you have your hopes up that he WILL be with you. Eventually......... You deserve better so don't 'wait' by the phone for him. GO out with friends, try to forget and have some fun. Remember, your life and what else goes on in it is just as important as him, if not MORE.
Onelife Posted June 25, 2007 Posted June 25, 2007 From uptohere previous posts, they've had sex before but had to stop because of one major incident. I don't know if she wants to bring this up again or not though. I guess from what she means now is that he does not want to go back to having sex with her again after that major incident. IMO uptohere, it's probably a good thing that he doesn't want to do it again as for what you both have been through. Maybe he learns from it and actually the guilt he is dealing with has eaten him up and deep inside he is wanting to do the right thing. Back to having physical A again is not a good thing for both of you.
Author upto_here Posted June 25, 2007 Author Posted June 25, 2007 From uptohere previous posts, they've had sex before but had to stop because of one major incident. I don't know if she wants to bring this up again or not though. I guess from what she means now is that he does not want to go back to having sex with her again after that major incident. IMO uptohere, it's probably a good thing that he doesn't want to do it again as for what you both have been through. Maybe he learns from it and actually the guilt he is dealing with has eaten him up and deep inside he is wanting to do the right thing. Back to having physical A again is not a good thing for both of you. IM sorry i did not mention what we have been tru...its a shocked for me and him...both that i fell pregnant and we decide to abort the baby which we are very emotional about it...he went tru every step with me and always be there for me when i need him..the last 7 weeks its been hell bcause of the termination took place and the suffering of the infection that i have to go tru the surgery twice ..he always be there for me ..he went in with me the second time and i can see from his face that he is going tru hell as well..we been tur tears and back...he does say to me that not because he don't want to but he don't want to go tru all the emotion and hurt after the first time we split..again ...yes he did had sex with his w he did not say he didn't....but its just got harder...and she read it from his action...and he is torn....by this ordeal....i havce been with him 9 months i know its not long but its on and off most of the time....oh i don't know...i wanted to move on but sometime i am so fragile and i need him....
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