NinjaSpank Posted June 23, 2007 Posted June 23, 2007 Long story short, I'm interested in a woman who is interested in me. Her husband is divorcing her and she out of the blue tells me that 'She needs to learn to listen to herself and not let anyone else make decisions for her' and that in order to do that she needs me to 'Stay away and keep my distance'. She said 'Thank you for being a friend and not judging me' and 'Not to bother responding [to this email], because she wont be checking it anymore'. I can understand all of that. Her marriage was a total mess and I know she feels like she never got to know herself and all of that. Its been three weeks now since I last heard from her. I really miss her, but I don't want to invade on her space. So, how long do I wait to try and contact her. And if I do try and contact her, how should I do so? Or, if I shouldn't try and contact her, at what point do I just assume I'm never going to hear from her again? Any advice will help, but keep in mind I don't believe in fate, so 'If it was meant to happen it will' doesn't mean anything to me. I was brought up to believe that nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight. -B
LucreziaBorgia Posted June 23, 2007 Posted June 23, 2007 Just leave her be. She will contact you when she feels comfortable doing so. If you contact her now, after she has given you the soft core dump speech she will respond by being polite and then going out of her way to create even more space.
Jig Posted June 23, 2007 Posted June 23, 2007 I think maybe you should let her be for a little bit and let her find herself. Not saying to never try again but the last thing you want to be is the rebound guy.
Author NinjaSpank Posted June 27, 2007 Author Posted June 27, 2007 I can appreciate the 'leave her be' advice, but again how long? Do I _ever_ try and contact her again? ... as far as the 'soft core dump speach', I may just be beeing naive, but I dont think she's completely blowing me off. We talked almost everyday for 4 months... so to have her completely shut me off was really a big shock, and I have to think that it wasnt done lightly. And maybe she is trying to gently tell me not to bother, but yea... I guess I have to hold on hope for now. Some extra details to this, just in case it changes anything. I had lent her a book and a couple of DVD's before this all happened. I've been going off the theory that, as long as I dont see those show up in the mail, then I'm just assuming that I will hear from her again. Again, is this just wishful thinking? At what point do I just move on and leave it be at memory? I had figured that I could occupy myself for three months or so without going too crazy, but a (male) friend of mine said that 'Three weeks was a really long time to not hear ANYTHING from someone if they really planned on contacting me again'. So yea, I'm still really confused and a little depressed. I really miss just talking to her. Thanks in advance for your input! -B
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