outofdarkness Posted June 23, 2007 Posted June 23, 2007 Hey Ya'll, I have a question regarding how exactly OW and MM communicate. Is it common to communicate via work numbers as well as 1-800 numbers? I see many of these on my H's cell bill and was wondering if this is a way for OW and MM to communicate without the W knowing. I realize that many A's begin and continue in the workplace, so this would certainly make sense if an A is w/ a co worker, but what about the 800 #'s? Also, could you all please tell me what exactly it may mean if there are numerous 1 minute calls in succession on the cell bill? I can see that many of the calls are to the same location/branch office, and many took place on weekends. My H is not a physician or an attorney or anything else for that matter that would require that he place or receive work phone calls either on the weekend or at night..There are also some calls that were made and received at night after business hours. My H is in the financial industry, and most of his business takes place during market hours, which most of you know are between 8-4 pm.. Do any of you use some sort of "code" such as calling MM's cell and then hanging up mabey w/ a distinctive ring as a signal for the MM to call back? Is this some sort of page? I have made notes for the past couple of months of the calls that he has made to and received from family members during these off hours, and in comparing my notes to the cell bill, I just see too many calls. I also have an unrelated question. Would any of you get angry if MM's W posted pictures of he and his W and children on the web? My H became angry and defensive and asked me to remove the pictures w/ him in them. I know this sounds like a dumb question, but I am really interested in your perspective on this as OW's...My guess is that he has lied to OW and doesn't want to anger them/her? As usual, all replies are welcome as long as they can be kept reasonably on topic, respectful and kind..Thanks for reading this thread and thanks in advance for your replies...OOD:confused:
Author outofdarkness Posted June 23, 2007 Author Posted June 23, 2007 Does ANYONE have any thoughts about this thread??? All are welcome!
IWALH Posted June 23, 2007 Posted June 23, 2007 He would call me from payphones and the times he actually used his cell he would call and let it ring a few times which was my que to call right back, but block my number so it couldn't be traced. The 800 numbers could be calling cards or something. And him getting angry like that over pictures of the family that you put on the internet sounds VERY suspicious!! He should be proud of his family. It definitely sounds to me like he is cheating, unfortunately. Gosh, I hate men.... they are so sneaky and slimy sometimes!!! By the way, now MM calls me from his phone, I guess it doesn't matter if she knows he is talking to me now... but he still doesn't call when he says he is going to. Like tonight. I talked to him twice earlier in the day and then he said he would "for sure" call me later tonight. Never did. Really bummed me out.... he better have a very good excuse why he didn't....
Author outofdarkness Posted June 23, 2007 Author Posted June 23, 2007 He would call me from payphones and the times he actually used his cell he would call and let it ring a few times which was my que to call right back, but block my number so it couldn't be traced. The 800 numbers could be calling cards or something. And him getting angry like that over pictures of the family that you put on the internet sounds VERY suspicious!! He should be proud of his family. It definitely sounds to me like he is cheating, unfortunately. Gosh, I hate men.... they are so sneaky and slimy sometimes!!! By the way, now MM calls me from his phone, I guess it doesn't matter if she knows he is talking to me now... but he still doesn't call when he says he is going to. Like tonight. I talked to him twice earlier in the day and then he said he would "for sure" call me later tonight. Never did. Really bummed me out.... he better have a very good excuse why he didn't.... Thanks so much for the info...It was really helpful...I'm so mad right now, I'm ready to take his cell and laptop and hide them until he tells me the truth...Sorry that you are upset about not hearing from MM. Please believe that they treat the W the SAME way!!! Thanks again, and please post again if you have any other thoughts...
Author outofdarkness Posted June 23, 2007 Author Posted June 23, 2007 Thanks so much for the info...It was really helpful...I'm so mad right now, I'm ready to take his cell and laptop and hide them until he tells me the truth...Sorry that you are upset about not hearing from MM. Please believe that they treat the W the SAME way!!! Thanks again, and please post again if you have any other thoughts... Also, I hate men now too!!! What is it w/ them anyway? It pisses me off!
NearlyThere Posted June 23, 2007 Posted June 23, 2007 Hey Ya'll, I have a question regarding how exactly OW and MM communicate. Is it common to communicate via work numbers as well as 1-800 numbers? I see many of these on my H's cell bill and was wondering if this is a way for OW and MM to communicate without the W knowing. I realize that many A's begin and continue in the workplace, so this would certainly make sense if an A is w/ a co worker, but what about the 800 #'s? Also, could you all please tell me what exactly it may mean if there are numerous 1 minute calls in succession on the cell bill? I can see that many of the calls are to the same location/branch office, and many took place on weekends. My H is not a physician or an attorney or anything else for that matter that would require that he place or receive work phone calls either on the weekend or at night..There are also some calls that were made and received at night after business hours. My H is in the financial industry, and most of his business takes place during market hours, which most of you know are between 8-4 pm.. Do any of you use some sort of "code" such as calling MM's cell and then hanging up mabey w/ a distinctive ring as a signal for the MM to call back? Is this some sort of page? I have made notes for the past couple of months of the calls that he has made to and received from family members during these off hours, and in comparing my notes to the cell bill, I just see too many calls. I also have an unrelated question. Would any of you get angry if MM's W posted pictures of he and his W and children on the web? My H became angry and defensive and asked me to remove the pictures w/ him in them. I know this sounds like a dumb question, but I am really interested in your perspective on this as OW's...My guess is that he has lied to OW and doesn't want to anger them/her? As usual, all replies are welcome as long as they can be kept reasonably on topic, respectful and kind..Thanks for reading this thread and thanks in advance for your replies...OOD:confused: Well I tend to communicate via normal work landline to MM's mobile but if someone appears in at my work place or his, if he's at work, or another call comes in we will hang up so it might be a came of many short calls in succession. If we are both not at work then he will send me a text saying do I want to talk, I ring back, so, you might be able to match up these times in some way. Cant tell you anything about the 1-800 numbers, sorry. As to the photo, well I would imagine he has told the OW that he is not happily married, problem etc, not trying to say that to hurt you, then if you were to post happy smiling pictures of all of you smiling etc, its going to be the opposite to what he has been saying, your right it would piss OW off, not that your happy and smiling, but of the lies. If I were you, I would post as many pictures as you could of ALL of you happy and smiling, you have your own right to do as you wish. Plus if his moible causes you so much anxiety, you could accidentally on purpose put his pants in the washing machine with his mobile in them. lol. NT
Freedom Now Posted June 23, 2007 Posted June 23, 2007 Well... My xMM still calls me from his 800 number. And he texts me from his private cell, but I would imagine that he erases the texts as soon as he sends them. Also, when he is staying in a hotel, he texts me his hotel room number so I can call him at the hotel. That way, there is no phone trail. As far as email, he has a separate, private, secret email account that she doesn't know about. If she would only get a keylogger, she would know exactly what he has been up to. But, she doesn't. And, BTW, I rarely return his calls when he contacts me. I truly just see him as "just a friend..." Isn't that ironic? How I feel about him is probably exactly how he described me to his wife on D-Day. Just a friend.
Lizzie60 Posted June 23, 2007 Posted June 23, 2007 I am not sure about the 800 numbers... my bet is that this OW or these OW are working at banks or financial offices... where they have a 1-800 number...then probably an extension number to reach the person (OW). If your H is a financial advisor...he's probably dealing with banks or any other financial establisments... so maybe he met a few OW there and is keeping contact with her/them. As for the cell... I find it weird that he doesn't delete all those numbers... Some MMs call me from their cell and some won't even take any chances and call me from pay phones. I rarely call them... and if I do and they can't talk, they'll say I have the wrong number or something...I get the message. I then wait for them to call me... they do whenever they get a chance. If the guy has a 'pager' then a code can be easily used. I used to do that with my 2nd ex.. He wasn't married but he wanted to 'differenciate' the calls... his 2 sons also had a code... or if he couldn't get the call from his cell, depending where he was.
greeneyes78 Posted June 23, 2007 Posted June 23, 2007 Just so you know, using 1-800 numbers for teleconferencing is very, very popular in Corporate America. Unless he constantly dials the number during evening hours or weekends, my bet would be that these are actually work-related phone calls. I'm a Sales Manager and 1-800 numbers are plastered all over my cell phone bill.
lovernotafighter Posted June 23, 2007 Posted June 23, 2007 it seems many MM's aren't using the 800 number thing OD. mine got a company phone and still worries about his number being on the bill..he will call from his work phone which goes out as random numbers (weird I know) he does call from his cell when he is away from work but he works anywhere from 10 to 14hr days and most weekends as well so that usally isnt the case. he only uses the comp to email to me as well from work. his wife has no way what so ever to find this stuff..email can only be used there from outlook and his cell bill comes to the office because it's paid by the company. if there is this kind of thing going on I would get a portable keylogger and visit him at the office..ask him to step for something coffee what ever and then quickly put that in his comp. also find the back door number for his voice mail and you can check his messages and also keep them new. send me a pm I think I can help you with this info..
Curmudgeon Posted June 23, 2007 Posted June 23, 2007 Seems to me that OW and MM communicate mostly through lies, at least to other people. That's commendable!
movinon05 Posted June 23, 2007 Posted June 23, 2007 He used to have a pager for work. And we had codes for each number. Number three represented "meet me." Four represented "call me". (at least I think those were the numbers! Its been so long I'm not sure). But you get the idea. When he called, he hung up after one ring, I would *69 to see if it was him, and I would know it was safe to call him. At one point, I had bought him a cell phone and put it on my plan, so he could call me from there anytime. Til I got the bills........ $1000 in 3 months (before there were high minute plans). And he only gave me $100 towards it because he couldn't hide anymore money for that from his W. I also saw he called his W's work from that phone. Needless to say, I took the phone back! Those are the only secret communications I can come up with. Don't know if it helps.
Author outofdarkness Posted June 24, 2007 Author Posted June 24, 2007 Yes, you've all helped me to understand alot. Any more thoughts are greatly appreciated. Hope you are all having a good weekend!
messit Posted June 24, 2007 Posted June 24, 2007 Gosh, I hate men.... they are so sneaky and slimy sometimes!!! Also, I hate men now too!!! What is it w/ them anyway? It pisses me off! Yes, let's paint all men with the same brush...
GreenEyedLady Posted June 24, 2007 Posted June 24, 2007 IWALH: Pay phones? That's a little much... Mine calls from his cell phone or work phone, just like anyone else...there's no secret code or anything...whenever one of us feels like talking, we call each other, which is usually several times a day, every day... Email is his personal email address...The way we communicate isn't sordid at all...more like everybody else...
bullhunter Posted June 24, 2007 Posted June 24, 2007 email. there were a couple phone calls where I called her ( i wouldn't give her my phone number ), but almost only email.
Onelife Posted June 24, 2007 Posted June 24, 2007 My xMM uses a prepaid calling card. He dials to 1-800 number and most calling card companies usually have the local access number also. Check out www.nobelcom.com. You may find some useful information there.
yousaveme Posted June 24, 2007 Posted June 24, 2007 Mine has his own email account which she doesnt have the password too. And has a private cell phone. So we talk using that mostly. Sometimes. I will call his other cell phone and just block my number. So it only shows as restricted. But mostly its the phone she doesnt even know exists.
stillhere Posted June 24, 2007 Posted June 24, 2007 I'm not sure what to tell you about posting your family pictures. That does seem a little odd. I'm unsure of the 800 numbers as well. I never used them. I don't know of many who do, except our main office at work. My MM calls me all the time from his cell phone. If i call him and i'm unsure of his whereabouts, i'll let it ring a few times and hang up. He will call me back when he gets a chance. I always know when he's home, but i'm not always sure of who is around him. My MM is not computer savy, and he never has free time to mess with a computer, so there is no email. He won't even text, he says he doesn't have time to learn, and he doesn't care to learn either!! I send him text messages occassionally, but not too often. They show up on his bill only as an amount received (15 received messages). He doesn't want her wondering who they are from, so he told me to keep it to a minimum. I quit for a long time, and he asked me to start sending them again. It let him know i was thinking of him. Other than that, i don't know what to tell you. I hope he's being faithful to you and that you are worrying for no reason. The games he's playing with you are unfair.
Tomcat33 Posted June 24, 2007 Posted June 24, 2007 OOD - interesting thread, my guess would have been that it is a teleconfrencing # especially given since your H is in upper management they tend to use those 1-800#s for confrence calls. As to the 1minute calls not sure what that would be, was that after work hours? Again my boss is upper management and whenever we are at confrences or offsite meetings with the team he can get calls on his cellphone at any give time and usually it is his counterparts in other parts of the country...and this could happen at any given time. Not to alarm you but I hear that there is a BB (blackberry) feature where by you can only communicate BB to BB with no other traces to be found in email, so while the keylogger might be a good idea if he has a BB he could be communicating on that directly...I am not certain of this. It appears today's technology gets further processed in order to facilitate "sneaking" around more and more. It's quite gross really... My xMM uses a prepaid calling card. He dials to 1-800 number and most calling card companies usually have the local access number also. Check out www.nobelcom.com. You may find some useful information there. I got a call from my ex from a weird 000-.... number so if someone uses a calling card the number on the calling card will appear instead of the actual number the person is calling from? I did not know this...I've been racking my brain trying to figure out what the heck that number was!?!?
mopar crazy Posted June 24, 2007 Posted June 24, 2007 Communication between H and OW was extremely easy b/c they worked together, he was her supervisor. I did find an unfamiliar number on our cell phone bill so I got on whitepages. The number wasn't registered (or unlisted) but it did tell me what area of town it was from so I knew it was her. I didn't ask him who's number it was, I asked him why he called her. He told me why, stupid reason. After that bill I looked at every bill and he called her number or she called him several times. Some where short calls, 1 or 2 minutes and I assumed he got her answering machine. Most of them were longer than 5 minutes. For someone who was trying to hide and deny their A they sure weren't doing a very good job of it.
IWALH Posted June 24, 2007 Posted June 24, 2007 IWALH: Pay phones? That's a little much... Mine calls from his cell phone or work phone, just like anyone else...there's no secret code or anything...whenever one of us feels like talking, we call each other, which is usually several times a day, every day... Email is his personal email address...The way we communicate isn't sordid at all...more like everybody else... That's how we used to communicate a couple years ago during the initial affair. Then things took a turn for the worse.... he calls from his cell now that things are going down for him and W. But whatever, I don't even want to talk about him anymore. I am so f*cking done with him at this point. I am in the process of detoxing myself from him.
frannie Posted June 24, 2007 Posted June 24, 2007 Calls me from his mobile (cellphone), emails me from his email account. No reason for her to check up on anything, no reason for him to hide anything.
Love is Tragic Posted June 24, 2007 Posted June 24, 2007 I have no idea about the 800 numbers, have never personally used that method of communicating with my MM. I am MW and my MM and i usually always talk through his work cell phone. He has a personal cell phone, but his wife is a stay at home mom and pays the bills, and is VERY jealous and possesive, so we never talk from his personal phone, as she would see my number on the bill. So this way is rather safe, at least we dont have to worry about her ever finding out that he is talking to me as she will never see his company cell bill. He also calls me at work quite a bit, also from his personal cell, or ill call whatever hotel he is staying at, as he travels around quite a bit. But as for the one minute phone calls you are seeing, they very well could be some kind of "code" for him to call her back when he can get away. When my husband was cheating, she would call and let it ring once, and after this happening several days in a row around the same time, he would tell me it must be a wrong number but i didnt buy it. So i saw the number on the caller id and called it later, found out it was his ex girlfriend, and they had been talking behind my back. So.. ya never know.
Onelife Posted June 25, 2007 Posted June 25, 2007 I got a call from my ex from a weird 000-.... number so if someone uses a calling card the number on the calling card will appear instead of the actual number the person is calling from? I did not know this...I've been racking my brain trying to figure out what the heck that number was!?!? There can be many various numbers shown when the calls are from the calling card company. When you try to call those numbers back, there will be no signal or busy signal. In a way, it's interesting how we would go out of our way to gain these access/communication with MMs, huh?
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