jen112233 Posted June 23, 2007 Posted June 23, 2007 I've had a little crush on this guy who attends the same work functions as I do every week. I had a coworker (who works with him) tell him I thought he was cute about 3 months ago. She bugged him about me in a company vehicle and he told her in a brusk tone he didn't think I was cute. The other workers in the car apparently told him he was crazy and that I was extrmemely attractive. After I heard that, I basically ignored his presence at each function every week anbd looked down whenever he looked at me. (I was extremely embaraased and humiliated). Every week though, he was obviously checking me out as if he was attracted to me. I decided at that point to talk to another male coworker and when I turend around to leave, my "crush" had a very sad look on his face looking at me and then abruptly turned his head as I left. I missed several work functions lately due to other obligations a few weeks ago, my coworker friend told me he came up to her and asked where I was. When she asked why he wouldnt reply. Then last week I arrived and he was checking me out so much, it made me uncomfortable and I had to turn my chair away to face the other room. (I just didn't know what to think). I saw him yesterday at the function and when he walked in, I looked up at him and he got this big grin on his face when he looked at me and then looked at the ground and walked out. (He was just picking his friend up from the function). I really have a thing for this guy but I just don't know what to think. I feel like he is attracted to me but yet he won't talk to me. This guy doesn;t seem like a player to me, he's older and somewhat laid back and reserved. Should I try responding back now when he checks me out again (I usually ignore it) or just give up and assume he is not interested? Thanks.
norajane Posted June 23, 2007 Posted June 23, 2007 Should I try responding back now when he checks me out again (I usually ignore it) or just give up and assume he is not interested?Yes, you should respond. You should LOOK at him, into his eyes preferably, and you should SMILE at him. And you should say HELLO when he comes near you. And you should say, "HI, MY NAME IS JEN" and smile at him and reach out to shake his hand. You're saying HE's reserved, but what are YOU doing????! You are turning away from him, looking away from him every time he looks at you, pointedly turning away from him to talk to other coworkers, leaving the room, ignoring him, and deliberately turning your chair away from him. I don't think you could possibly give off stronger GO AWAY signals if you actually spit in his face. You may be 'cute' but you aren't friendly, nor are you at all flirtatious. If you don't relax and open up, he'd have to have iron balls to make any move to talk to you. Loosen up. Don't take yourself so seriously.
Author jen112233 Posted June 23, 2007 Author Posted June 23, 2007 Well, I only acted this way after he responded to my coworker friend a few months ago stating he didn't think I was cute. (Naturally, this would make anyone feel embarassed and a little hurt). Since he then appeared to give me some buying signals by checking me out and asking my friend where I was, I felt completly confused and didn't know how to respond... (I just don't want him to think Ill throw myself at him at the first sign he shows some interest).
norajane Posted June 23, 2007 Posted June 23, 2007 Your friend was tactless and foolishly approached him in front of other people. How do you think HE felt? That's not the kind of environment for a personal conversation about whether he's attracted to you or not. So he tried to save face in front of his co-workers and denied thinking you were attractive. Especially if the other people in the car were guys. What was your friend thinking in blabbing about your crush in front of other people? Are you embarrassed in front of them now? Does she not have any tact to keep your personal business private?
buzzie2 Posted June 23, 2007 Posted June 23, 2007 I agree with Norajane. I think that this guy does really like you, and the reason he said he didn't think you were cute was because he was embarrassed when he got asked in front of all those people. I myself am in a similiar situation at work. I have a crush on one of the older managers, and once I got asked in front of two other girls if I had a crush on him. I remember making a face and saying "NOOOO"!. The reason I did this was because I knew if I said I did eventually everyone in the store would know about my crush and then it would be really awkward, especially because I know that he secretly likes me too. Some people, including myself like to keep there private lives seperate from work, which I think is a wise idea. So give this guy a break. I think from what you've told me he definately likes you, I mean he's checking you out constantly and smiles when you walk in the room. I think you need to be more friendly and approachable, and let him know you like him back. But do it when you're alone. This guy sounds like the shy type. Good Luck.
kymberann Posted June 24, 2007 Posted June 24, 2007 Maybe he does not think you are cute, but perhaps he finds you pretty, alluring, sexy, attractive, naturally beautiful. I think some men tend to define looks in different terms. So go give it a try and reract back, beter yet when you see him give him something to respond to and see what he does! Best
LN99 Posted June 24, 2007 Posted June 24, 2007 Like the others said, maybe he felt he was put on the spot when he was asked if he thought you were cute? OR maybe he really didn't notice you until your friend said something to him. Then he began checking you out and realized you were cute! Now, he's trying to get your attention. And NOW it's time to reciprocate. Plus, doing things through other people usually kinda makes things awkward. Now its time for the two of you to start talking and get to know each other. Good luck!
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